Dinner at the folks

I went to my folks' house yesterday after work to visit, and my mom was making dinner, so she invited me to have dinner with them. Sounds good, huh....NOT! Sometimes, I am so glad I have a place to go home to, away from my grumpy brother. If my brother hadn't have been there, it would have been fine. This is kind of how it went yesterday...

Dad... You're not supposed to put water in the gravy. It is too runny!

Mom... It will boil out when I am cooking it!

Bro... What are you doing? You are going to ruin the gravy!

Mom... I am not going to ruin it. Just watch tv and leave me alone.

Dad... Here, let me do it.

Mom...I have got it! It is too crowded in this kitchen!

Bro... You don't know what you're doing. You can't cook. I am not going to eat that.

Mom... Then go get some fast food and stop complaining.

Dad... (silence...has his headphones on and is listening to the radio)

Bro... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO IT LIKE THAT. GRANDMA NEVER MAKES IT THAT WAY!

Mom... Yes she does. I have seen her.

Me (shaking my head, wondering why I ever came over)

Bro... Let me see... (checks out the gravy)...F*ck...that looks nasty! I am not eating that.

Mom... Then don't eat it.

Bro... Why do you always ruin everything? You can't cook.

Mom... It isn't ruined. It is fine.

Bro... It is too runny. Put in some more flour.

(mom adds flour)

Me ... (still shaking my head...trying to watch the basketball game)

Dad.. (still in headphones)

Bro... Ewww...now it is all lumpy.

Mom... You told me to add more flour!

Bro... Forget it....F*ck.

Mom... First your father told me it was too runny...Then you tell me to add flour... Now you say it is too lumpy...

Bro... It looks like throw up.

Me... Next time, YOU cook it then.

... and so on, and so on.... Yeah, it was a nice, pleasant dinner with the folks. (rolling my eyes). Anyhow, the gravy was a bust, but who cares. It is not like it iwas a matter of life or death if the gravy came out ok. I thought the food tasted fine, but my brother is SO picky about stuff like that. I don't think he will ever find a woman who will live up to his standards - lol. Good luck to the woman who falls for him... she is going to need help!