Funny Stuff From George Carlin

" I definitely cannot eat oysters. Not for the usual reason - their similarity to snot - but because when I look at the whole oyster I think, 'Hey, that's a little house. Somebody lives in there. I'm not gonna break in on a guy just to have a meal. He might be making a pearl. Maybe he just brought home a do-it-yourself pearl kit and cleared off the dining room table.' Who am I to interfere with the plans of an oyster?"