I used to be so mellow...

But not anymore. I have become quite a road-ragin', irritable bitch at times. I admit it. I have come to terms with my bitchiness. I think when you are younger, you are more tolerant to the dumbness of other people, because you don't know better. But as you grow older, and perhaps wiser (even if you only THINK you are wiser), you come to see just how truly stupid people are...including myself...sometimes. For me, it was like a giant blinder came off of my eyes and suddenly the whole world was full of idiots.

I used to blame it on PMS, that old standby excuse that we women love to use. Sometimes it is a valid excuse, but I have come to use that excuse even when I am not PMS'ing, because to me, it feels like I am ALWAYS PMS'ing. I guess when you really think about it, we women ARE always in the stages of PMS. I mean it does come every month (hehe).

Take my loud-ass neighbors. At first when they were playing their music loud, I chalked it up to them being new and maybe having a party or something. But now that they have lived here a while, you'd think they'd wear out of the party stage. I know I did...fast. Now, after months of being woken up by their pounding music at early am hours, I can feel the rage building up inside of me, like some inner heat wave, and then I begin to visualize them being attacked by wild dogs and torn apart, and somehow, yes somehow, this makes me smile. But don't worry folks... I haven't gone looking for wild dogs to sic' on them just yet.

In fact, right now, I am celebrating some sort of revenge, because at this very minute, I am playing MY music (hard rock music) very loud, with my speakers on the floor pointing downwards on the floor so all the noise is directed to them...my subwoofer cranked up to high so their ceiling is shaking. I can feel the floor vibrating below my feet, and this time, it is MY music that is doing it. I hope they are cursing me. I hope they are visualizing me being torn apart by wild dogs and smiling. Maybe then they will know how I feel. Maybe.

Yes, I am a bitch. And I am even somewhat proud of it. I am nice to my friends and people who are nice to me. I have no problem whatsoever in being nice to people. It is my prefered medium of expression. But one can only take so much before he or she cracks. Maybe my little form of revenge is not exactly mean or anything. But it is the best my naturally nice personality can fathom at this point. I guess I have not become a bitch by myself. It took all the stupid, inconsiderate people around me to help out. And thank goodness, I had a LOT of help ;)