Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"All poker games are essentially the same: A person (or, in poker slang, 'dealer') gives you some cards ('cards'), which you look at in a furtive manner ('sneaking a gander') to see if you have a good hand ('bling bling') after which you bet (or 'kiss the eel') by placing money ('cheese') into the pot ('marijuana'). This goes on until somebody ('not you') wins, at which point all the losers express heartfelt congratulations in colorful slang terms."