A Love Letter to Shaquille O'Neal
"Dear Shaq:
Welcome to the Heat! You're going to love South Florida. The fans down here are terrific! We're with you, win or lose. OK, I'm lying. We're only with you if you win. Oh, we'll cut you some slack for a while, but after that you will pretty much have to provide us with an NBA championship. Because we REALLY like winners down here, Shaq. When the Panthers were winning, we even loved ice hockey, for a period of several hours. And we loved Don Shula. He was a winner, and the people of South Florida worshipped him as a god. I do not mean that figuratively, Shaq: Goats were sacrificed."
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