20 Things I don't want for Christmas:
1. A box of nails
2. A giant poster of Steven Seagal
3. Frozen asparagus
4. A year-supply of Rice-A-Roni
5. Nose hair clippers
6. Tickets to see Barbara Streisand
7. A bottle of Drain-O
8. Ballroom dancing lessons taught by a man named Bubba
9. OJ's book
10. Screech's sex tape
11. A book on advanced geometry
12. Britney Spears's hair extensions
13. Wet Dog scented candles
14. A half-eaten bag of Cheetos
15. A free haircut by Howie Mandel's hair stylist
16. A rusty can opener
17. Tickets to see the world's largest lint collection
18. Kevin Federline's CD
19. A Mike Tyson fridge magnet
20. Parachute pants
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