Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Our birthday party theme for this year's party is 'The Little Mermaid.' My wife was happy about this until she found out that another girl in our daughter's preschool class is having a birthday party two months before our daughter's, and her theme is ALSO 'The Little Mermaid.' It's the kind of nightmare you think always happens to other people, but never to you. The other girl's parents are very nice people, but because they used my wife's theme, she views them as the enemy. She fears that their party will be better than ours, and these fears worsened when we got to the enemy house and discovered that the enemy mom had used a professional party planner, who had not only done serious undersea decorations involving gauze, but had also provided, for entertainment, a mermaid, a pirate, AND a sea goddess. ' A sea goddess!' my wife said, and the despair in her voice was real."