Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Go to one of the websites devoted to birthday planning, where moms report, in detail, the deranged lengths to which they have gone to stage birthday parties for small children. They sound like this: 'Our theme for Meghan's third birthday was 'The Enchanted Fairy Forest.' To create a 'forest' in the family room, I made full-size 'trees' out of fiberglass, which I painted brown and festooned with 17,000 'leaves' I cut by hand from green felt, accented with live squirrels that I caught using a galvanized-steel trap baited with Peter Pan creamy peanut butter. For the 'forest floor,' I brought in 4 tons of mulch with a Lawn Boy yard tractor. For the 'sky,' I used the actual sky, which was visible because I removed the ceiling and roof with a chain saw, which is when my husband, Ed, left me, but the overall effect was well worth it.' You think I'm exaggerating, but that's only because you haven't browsed birthdaypartyideas.com."