Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The dream of traveling to Mars is not a new dream. As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved. Mars - sometimes called, 'The Red Planet,' because it appears, to the naked eye, to be orange - gets its name from the ancient Greek or Roman name Mars, meaning 'Mars.' The planet has long captured the popular imagination, because for many years, people believed that Martians might live there, based on the fact that there are canals, which suggests the presence of boats, and, in the words of the late Carl Sagan: 'If there are boats, then there would have to be somebody to fix them."