"It is time for another rendition of 'Ask Mister Language Person,' the only grammar column approved for internal use by The Food and Drug Administration; the grammar column that puts the 'dip' in 'diphthong,' the 'vern' in 'vernacular,' and the 'dang' in 'dangling participle.' Today we shall commence right at the outset by starting with our first question, which concerns vocabulary:
Q. What does 'decimate' mean?
A. This often-misunderstood word is an anterior cruciate predicate that should be used in conjugal phrases such as follows:
'Noreen was totally decimated when she found Vern wearing her good pantyhose.' "
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