Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Dads are never entrusted with birthday-party planning, at least not in our house, where the entire massive burden falls on my wife, causing her to become increasingly imbalanced. Last year, our theme was 'The Wizard of Oz,' and my wife decided that, among many other touches, we needed to transform our front walkway into a Yellow Brick Road by covering it with a roll of yellow plastic that she bought from the House of Really Slippery Surfaces. On the day of the party, it was raining, so I suggested that maybe, for safety, we should not do the Yellow Brick Road. Do you remember the part in The Exorcist where Linda Blair's eyes get really weird and her head rotates 360 degrees? That's a mild version of how my wife reacted to the suggestion that we would not have a Yellow Brick Road. Her feeling was, yes, there could be injuries, even deaths, BUT WE WILL HAVE A YELLOW BRICK ROAD. And so we did."