Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"If you are a newspaper columnist, you can legally deduct all expenses relating to anything you specifically mention in a column, such as houses, cars, vacations, beer, and everything else, real or imagined, in the world, including but not limited to your new 'flat screen' television with a remote control boasting so many advanced features that you have to call your son nightly so he can explain to you how to turn it off."