Rudeness Rules
"At a movie theater, you may save seats for a few people if the theater is not crowded. If the theater is crowded, you may save seats only if the people you're saving them for are on the premises, defined as 'in the building or the parking lot.' If the previews of coming attractions have started, and the theater is filling up, and you're still defending seats for theoretical people who have not yet arrived, and an actual, physical person attempts to sit down, and you hiss, 'That's saved,' and the person 'accidentally' trips and spills that stanky movie-theater nacho cheese all over your hair, and you press assault charges, and we get to serve on the jury, we're voting for acquittal."
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