Do not sleep and drive

I was watching tv last night....a really STUPID movie as a matter of fact called Leeches which was worse even than that piece of crap Miner's Massacre, but I digress ... when a commercial for Lunesta came on. As many people know by now, since the danged commercial is on like every 10 minutes, Lunesta is a sleep aid. Well, as they were reading off the list of side effects, which were many, they said probably the most stupid thing I have ever heard..."Until you know how Lunesta will affect you, do not drive while taking it." Ok. Here's the conundrum.... Lunesta equals sleep. To drive, you must not be asleep. To drive, you need to be awake. So why on earth do they need to tell people not to drive while taking a sleep medication?

Why? I will tell you why. Because people are STUPID. I am sure even Forrest Gump would tell you that taking sleeping pills before driving is just a plain idiotic thing to do. But people are, and will always be, STUPID. That is why we have to have warning labels on coffee, a traditionally HOT beverage, telling people it is, in fact, hot. That is why we have warning labels on windshield shades telling us to remove the shade before driving. That is why we have instruction labels on shampoo bottles telling us how to use their product, because God help us if we forget that critical rinse step in the hair washing process. That, my friends, is why we have a label telling us not to drive after taking a pill that is designed to make us fall asleep.

I feel almost offended that they actually have instructions on a shampoo bottle. I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but even I know how to use shampoo. It is not like I am gonna stand there, bottle in hand, wondering what to do with it. Open....squeeze out shampoo....lather into hair...rinse....and repeat if you really want to or if you have really dirty hair It is a simple process. Common sense will tell you how to do it. I imagine even if there were no instruction label on the bottle, even a chimp could figure out how to use the stuff. But, we are STUPID. We need instruction labels to tell us that a Hot Pocket, after you heat it up in the microwave, will, in fact, be HOT. C'mon. The name of the product alone gives that away. If it were called Cold Pocket, I could, perhaps, see a need for a label. But it's a HOT Pocket....HOT! A label should not be needed here.

There are certain things that really don't need much explanation. Like knives. Knives cut through bread and steak and other food things, so it would be safe to assume that you might not want to use that knife on, let's say, your finger (unless you are REALLY hungry). Common sense would tell you that a cutting tool could maybe, you know, cut you. Same thing with a saw or a drill. Anything that is gonna do some damage to food, wood, or metal or anything else that is tough to do damage to will do damage to you, too, if you use it on yourself. So you might not wanna do that. Keep the pointy end away from your skin.

Other things, like a computer, are a little more complicated and need an instruction manual so that the owner of the product can throw it away and then complain that the thing doesn't work when he or she can't turn it on.

Then, there are the really stupid warning labels that say things like "keep chainsaw away from genitals." Someone somewhere must have actually done that at one time, you would think, because who on earth would think of putting a chainsaw down there??? Oh yeah. STUPID people.

So the next time you pop a Lunesta and then think, "It sure is a nice night for a drive," remember...without people like you, warning label writers would be out of a job.