Why does life have to suck so much?

My mom called me yesterday afternoon, telling me she had gotten a message from her sister, and for the first time since she was diagnosed with cancer, she sounded very down, saying things were about the same, but she was "slowing down." I know this is not a good sign, because my aunt Marge was always very positive and very determined. But now, it sounds like she has finally given up the fight. I don't expect her to last too much longer, and I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I mean, I know she is in a great deal of pain and to be away from that pain would be a good thing, yet it must be so hard for my poor uncle to have to watch his wife slowly die like that. I know he doesn't want her to go. It is just a bad situation all around, and my poor mom is clearly stressed and sad over it all. I hate to see her so sad like that. It hurts me to know she hurts. I was writing a note to my aunt on a card and sending her some pictures of Yosemite to maybe cheer her up, but I found myself at a loss for words. What do you write on a card like that? You can't say "Hope you get well soon," or anything like that, because, well, we all know she is not going to get well. And to say that I hope she feels better just sounds stupid because I know she won't feel better no matter what. So, I just said "take care." Those words sound so small and stupid, but that was all I could write. That was all that I could think that would make any sense.

It just sucks...cancer, you know. I had to watch my grandma die earlier this year, and that was a hard thing to do. To watch her waste away. To have to watch her struggling to talk and to move. It was more than I could take. I can't even begin to imagine what my uncle Martin must be going thru, or her kids and grandkids. And I always find myself at a loss for words in situations like that. I never know what to say or do. I never know if something I say might cause them pain, so I often just shut up. I guess all a person can do in that situation is to offer their shoulder to cry on or to offer support. But that somehow seems so insignificant. Like it's not nearly enough. Yet it is all I can do.

I hate to start a morning on such a down note, but I had been thinking about it all last night and into this morning and just had to get it out of my system.