"I have written a blockbuster novel. My inspiration was The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown, which has sold 263 trillion copies in hardcover because it's a compelling page turner. NOBODY can put this book down:
Mother on beach: Help! My child is being attacked by a shark!
Lifeguard: (looking up from The DaVinci Code): Not now! I just got to page 243, where it turns out that one of the men depicted in The Last Supper is actually a woman!
Mother: I know! Isn't that incredible? And it turns out that she's...
Shark: (Spitting out the child): Don't give it away! I'm only on page 187!"
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