Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The key to The DaVinci Code is that it's filled with startling plot twists, and almost every chapter ends with a 'cliffhanger,' so you have to keep reading to see what will happen. Using this formula, I wrote the following blockbuster novel, titled The Constitution Conundrum. It's fairly short now, but when I get a huge publishing contract, I'll flesh it out to 100,000 words by adding sentences.

Chapter One

Handsome yet unmarried historian Hugh Heckman stood in the National Archives Building in Washington, D.C., squinting through the bulletproof glass as the U.S. Constitution. Suddenly, he made an amazing discovery.

'My God!' he said, out loud. 'This is incredible! Soon I will say what it is.'

(End of Chapter)"