Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Does anyone know why, when we explain human sexuality to young people, we refer to it as 'the birds and the bees?' I have never once seen a bird OR a bee have sex. I don't believe that, organwise, bird or bees have any equipment they can have sex WITH. It seems to me that if we're going to use animals to explain human sexuality to youngsters, we should pick a species whose anatomy and behavior at least vaguely resembles ours. So when your child - let's say his name is Billy - reached a certain age, instead of 'the birds and the bees,' you'd have a little talk with him about, let's say, 'the dogs.' You'd say, 'Billy, the male dog wants to have sex pretty much all the time with pretty much every female dog on the entire planet, or, if no female is available, with another male dog, or the nearest human shin, or any low-lying furniture. Whereas the female dog ... Billy? Come back here!' But Billy is gone, because he already knows all about human sexuality, from watching HBO."