Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"No amount of physical evidence will convince a bad driver that her or she is a bad driver. You take a motorist who, while attempting to pull out of a parking space, mistakes 'forward' for 'reverse,' then, in an effort to correct this error, mistakes the accelerator for the brake and sends his car (an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme) lunging across a sidewalk and into a restaurant, attaining a speed of thirty-seven mile per hour by the time it rams the salad bar and is engulfed by a wave of the house dressing (a creamy Italian). Even as the paramedics are tweezing chickpeas from the ears of this motorist, he will loudly insist that (a) the restaurant was not there before; and (b) there are PLENTY of people on the road who does not drive as well as he does."