Diary of a Madwoman

Things That Sound Dirty At Christmas Time, But Aren't

1) Can I shake your present?
2) Don't bite that candy cane. It's too hard. You need to suck on it.
3) Watch out or you will break my balls!
4) Can I try a piece of your pie?
5) If you shake the package too hard, it might break.
6) Those are some huge balls on that tree!
7) Spread the legs so I can get this stuffing in.
8) I hope Santa eats my cookies!
9) If you are a good girl, Santa will fill your stocking.
10) You better eat all of your meat or you won't get any dessert.