Weekend woes

Sunday night seems to come way too soon in the weekend. Just when you start to relax a little bit, WHAM...Sunday night is here.

I spent most of the weekend at my grandma's house visiting her. She is so thin. I was afraid to hug her, fearing I might break her bones or hurt her. Hugging her was like hugging a skeleton. She has lost so much weight since Christmas. If she weighs 100 pounds it would be a miracle.

The doctor came to visit her on Friday. He didn't bring good news. She has cancer in both lungs, in her liver and in her lymph nodes. She can try chemo, but it probably would do nothing but make her miserable. It could even kill her outright. At her weight and age, he doesn't even think she could survive chemo. All chemo would do, if anything, would maybe prolong her life a few weeks. Her cancer is not curable. The cancer will kill her. And it will do it fast. He gave her weeks to months to live. He even told my folks and I that she could be in a coma by Monday. That is how fast it could do her in.

I pretty much already knew that she would not live much longer. All I want is for her to spend the last bit of her life without pain. I know the pain comes and goes, but she does have morphine to ease it. And, so far, she doesn't seem to be suffering. She still tries to talk and laugh and wants all her friends and family to visit her and call her. She told us that she wants us to call anytime ... even at midnight. That is my grandma for you. She loves to talk and have company.

I feel like I should be around more. But I have to work. If she lived closer, I would go visit her everyday. My parents have made the commitment to be there 24/7 for her up until the very end. They won't leave her. My dad didn't even leave the house when I was there.

It is hard to see my grandma so thin and frail, but it is also hard to see my dad so stressed out and clearly shaken. I have never seen my dad cry, but when the doctor was explaining about chemo and hospice, I could see his eyes welling up with tears. It is hard to see your loved ones in so much agony, both physical and emotional.

What pissed me off was when my aunt Jean and her husband Bill came on Saturday and tried to take over, so to speak. I can't believe they had the nerve to tell my grandma's friends that they should call first before coming over, when my grandma made it clear to all of us that she wants her friends to come over anytime...without calling. She leaves an open invitation for anyone to come over and/or call whenever they want to. And Bill and Jean should respect her wishes. I wanted to tell them off soooo bad. But, at the same time, I didn't want to say anything that would cause my grandma any stress.

Another thing that was a sore point with all of my family, was that Jean and Bill were trying to talk my grandma into signing a living trust. She already has a will that was drawn up years and years ago, and has her funeral pre-planned and everything, and she has always been dead set against a living trust, so why do they feel the need to bring that up? It is her money. Her house. Her stuff. It should be HER decision and no one else's. End off story.

This is just not how the end of a person's life should be. It should not come down to who is in charge of the will and all that money crap. It should be about the person....my grandma. Pure and simple. Leave the politics and greed out of it. My parents are there to help my grandma out. To get her water. To get her food. To help her to the bathroom. And, most importantly, to provide comfort and companionship in what is unarguably the hardest time in her life.

And that is what matters.