Be sure to wear green, or you will get a pinch (ouch)
Posted by Hello
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Internet Hoaxes
You know what these are. They are those emails you get like a thousand times a week from all of your friends, because they think they are VITALLY important that you read them. Well, we all know that good intentions count, but c'mon. Enough already. I get enough SPAM mail as it is. I surely have read just about every "needle in the gas pump" story, or "Dangerous email virus" email there is. Just so you know, here are a few examples of some email hoaxes...stories that are completely and utterly untrue...
Mall Parking Lot Knock Out Perfume
Another stupid e-mail designed to instill fear in old woman. Two people pull up in a car trying to sell perfume in a mall parking lot. They offer a wiff. Um, no I don't buy perfume that often, but I get mine from those prissy nags that spray you as you walk by. The perfume is alleged to be a knock out drug and the unwitty victim is either robbed, raped, kidnapped or all of the above. This one has many variations in circulation All of which are fake. Alot take place at Wal-Mart, what up wit dat! {Hoax}
Flat Tire at the Savannah Mall, and Shady do Gooder
A woman notices a flat tire and while she changes it a man offers to help. He puts his briefcase in the trunk and changes the tire then asks her to give him a ride to his car. She says she has to go buy something and she will be right back. When she returns wit da Police, he is gone. The suitcase supposedly had kidnappin materials inside. Scaaaarrrryyyy! But there is no truth to it according to Savannah mall security and Savannah PD. This one took off across the country inspiring many copycats. But NO! {Hoax}
Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch, Gap; Money give away
I don't know how many times I have to say it. Nothing in this world is free. Especially money! Who in their mind would really offer to give someone a 25$ gift certificate for very 10 people I send an e-mail to. I mean I have a good50 people in my address book, let alone all the people on, my joke review mailing list. Just use some common sense. I know your saying well it can't hurt to send it, but damn. the gap and old navy are competitors, why would they work together? Don't ever believe it. {Hoax}
Flesh Eating Bacteria (Costa Rican Banana)
Run away from the Necrotising Fasciitis!!! This beautifully written piece of drivel claims that Costa Rican bananas are infected with a virus that has decimated (a word that means reduced by ten percent) the monkey population. Now these Bananas are Lurking round your local grocers produce section. It was a good read, hope they get Dustin Hoffman for the movie. Don't you believe it. {Hoax}
Kentucky Fried genetically mutated Chicken like substance
Let's not be ridiculous! Do we actually believe that there are giant laboratories housing beakless, featherless intravenously fed chicken blobs. This one said the government made Kentucky Fried Chicken quit using the word chicken in reference to the meat they sell, due to its genetic alterations. Somebody needs kicked in the crotch over this one. {Hoax}
Cookie Recipe for Neiman Marcus
This well written piece of literature inspired many to send it on without regard to, um, thought, I guess. Man charges a recipe thinking he was paying $2.50 but instead paid $250.00. When the company refused to refund his money he vindictively sent the recipe out so everyone could have it. {Urban Legend}
Chain Letter that plays a Video Clip
Send this to eleven people and the coolest video will pop up. For Pete's sake people! Emails cant play videos, there has to be an attachment and you have to actively play it. If you fell for this one you probably shouldn't be using email. {Hoax}
Dying Child Chain Letter
Asks for your help to save this dying child from some terminal illness or another. I got one that said billionaire was going to donate $0.50 for every person that received this email. Another email tracker thing. I thought to myself if my child was dying and some billionaire offered a deal like this, I'd have to sharpen my axe. Evidently there is one that uses the Dave Matthew's Band to convince you of its validity. Wrong again. {Hoax}
There are many, many more examples, but I would run out of room before long if I listed them all. You can check out http://www.3oddballz.com/hoaxes/ if you want to check them out. Pretty interesting stuff.
Mall Parking Lot Knock Out Perfume
Another stupid e-mail designed to instill fear in old woman. Two people pull up in a car trying to sell perfume in a mall parking lot. They offer a wiff. Um, no I don't buy perfume that often, but I get mine from those prissy nags that spray you as you walk by. The perfume is alleged to be a knock out drug and the unwitty victim is either robbed, raped, kidnapped or all of the above. This one has many variations in circulation All of which are fake. Alot take place at Wal-Mart, what up wit dat! {Hoax}
Flat Tire at the Savannah Mall, and Shady do Gooder
A woman notices a flat tire and while she changes it a man offers to help. He puts his briefcase in the trunk and changes the tire then asks her to give him a ride to his car. She says she has to go buy something and she will be right back. When she returns wit da Police, he is gone. The suitcase supposedly had kidnappin materials inside. Scaaaarrrryyyy! But there is no truth to it according to Savannah mall security and Savannah PD. This one took off across the country inspiring many copycats. But NO! {Hoax}
Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch, Gap; Money give away
I don't know how many times I have to say it. Nothing in this world is free. Especially money! Who in their mind would really offer to give someone a 25$ gift certificate for very 10 people I send an e-mail to. I mean I have a good50 people in my address book, let alone all the people on, my joke review mailing list. Just use some common sense. I know your saying well it can't hurt to send it, but damn. the gap and old navy are competitors, why would they work together? Don't ever believe it. {Hoax}
Flesh Eating Bacteria (Costa Rican Banana)
Run away from the Necrotising Fasciitis!!! This beautifully written piece of drivel claims that Costa Rican bananas are infected with a virus that has decimated (a word that means reduced by ten percent) the monkey population. Now these Bananas are Lurking round your local grocers produce section. It was a good read, hope they get Dustin Hoffman for the movie. Don't you believe it. {Hoax}
Kentucky Fried genetically mutated Chicken like substance
Let's not be ridiculous! Do we actually believe that there are giant laboratories housing beakless, featherless intravenously fed chicken blobs. This one said the government made Kentucky Fried Chicken quit using the word chicken in reference to the meat they sell, due to its genetic alterations. Somebody needs kicked in the crotch over this one. {Hoax}
Cookie Recipe for Neiman Marcus
This well written piece of literature inspired many to send it on without regard to, um, thought, I guess. Man charges a recipe thinking he was paying $2.50 but instead paid $250.00. When the company refused to refund his money he vindictively sent the recipe out so everyone could have it. {Urban Legend}
Chain Letter that plays a Video Clip
Send this to eleven people and the coolest video will pop up. For Pete's sake people! Emails cant play videos, there has to be an attachment and you have to actively play it. If you fell for this one you probably shouldn't be using email. {Hoax}
Dying Child Chain Letter
Asks for your help to save this dying child from some terminal illness or another. I got one that said billionaire was going to donate $0.50 for every person that received this email. Another email tracker thing. I thought to myself if my child was dying and some billionaire offered a deal like this, I'd have to sharpen my axe. Evidently there is one that uses the Dave Matthew's Band to convince you of its validity. Wrong again. {Hoax}
There are many, many more examples, but I would run out of room before long if I listed them all. You can check out http://www.3oddballz.com/hoaxes/ if you want to check them out. Pretty interesting stuff.
New South Park episode tonite!
Episode 902: Cartman tries to eliminate hippies from the face of the earth in an all new episode of “South Park,” entitled "Die Hippie, Die," premiering Wednesday, March 16 at 10:00 p.m. Cartman warns the citizens of South Park that it will only be a matter of days before the town becomes the Hippie Capital of the World. No one will believe him until they find out the hippies plan to stage a weeklong music fest. The town has no choice but to turn to Cartman for help. He then puts his plan to eradicate his lifelong enemies in motion. Be sure to tune in
Batteries Included
maybe this will teach people to remove the batteries out of their "toys" before shipping them - hehe
BERLIN (Reuters) - A blow-up sex doll sparked a bomb alert in a German post office after it started to vibrate inside a package awaiting delivery, police said Wednesday.
"Workers were unsettled when it began vibrating and made strange noises," a spokesman for police in the eastern city of Chemnitz said. "They were worried the package might be a bomb."
Officers brought the sender to the scene and discovered the source of alarm was an electrical device inside a life-size female sex doll. The man told police he had wanted to return the doll because it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment.
Order was restored after the sender removed the doll's batteries so the defective product could be returned.
Good times on a Tuesday night
American Idol was pretty disappointing last night. I think there were only about 4 performances that I liked: Anwar, Bo, Constantine and Nadia. They all did very well. I am glad to see that a few "rockers" are in it this time. I am so tired of all the boy-band wannabes out there who all sound alike. That is why I like Anwar, Bo and Constantine so much. Anwar just has such an amazingly good voice. And Nadia, well, she is in a league of her own. I like Carrie a lot, but she has not been picking songs that suit her lately. Scott also has a good voice, but he is just boring. Overall, the performances last night were mediocre at best, with the exception of the aforementioned four people. I think Mikalah and Nikko need to go.
I went to see The Incredibles last night with my friend, Veronica and her man, Eric at the dollar theatre (well 50 cent theatre on Tuesdays - hehe). It was so funny! I loved the little short film before the feature, called "Boundin'." It was all about this little sheep who liked to dance for his friends and was so proud of his wool coat...until the farmer shaved it all off. Then all of his friends laughed at him and the poor little guy didn't want to dance anymore. Then a jackalope comes along and makes him see that he is still the same ole sheep he was before he was sheared, and he teaches him to dance again. It was soooo cute. I loved it!
The Incredibles, pardon the pun, was an incredible movie. It was so funny and cute, and even though it was geared towards a young audience, it was entertaining enough for adults, too. I would highly recommend it, and will definitely buy it for my DVD collection. It was about this family of superheroes who are forced to live undercover. While Helen (formerly Elastigirl) has managed to settle down into domestic bliss, Bob (formerly Mr Incredible), is unhappy in his job and longs to go back to the days of his superhero glory. I am not going to go too into detail of this movie, in case anyone has not seen it. I hate it when people ruin the movie for me before I have even seen it. I would give it 9 out of 10 stars. Fun for everyone!
Next up for me is going to be The Ring Two. I can't wait til that comes out this Friday. Also, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is coming out in a few months. I am so looking foward to that one! Looks like this year is going to be a good one as far as movies go.
I went to see The Incredibles last night with my friend, Veronica and her man, Eric at the dollar theatre (well 50 cent theatre on Tuesdays - hehe). It was so funny! I loved the little short film before the feature, called "Boundin'." It was all about this little sheep who liked to dance for his friends and was so proud of his wool coat...until the farmer shaved it all off. Then all of his friends laughed at him and the poor little guy didn't want to dance anymore. Then a jackalope comes along and makes him see that he is still the same ole sheep he was before he was sheared, and he teaches him to dance again. It was soooo cute. I loved it!
The Incredibles, pardon the pun, was an incredible movie. It was so funny and cute, and even though it was geared towards a young audience, it was entertaining enough for adults, too. I would highly recommend it, and will definitely buy it for my DVD collection. It was about this family of superheroes who are forced to live undercover. While Helen (formerly Elastigirl) has managed to settle down into domestic bliss, Bob (formerly Mr Incredible), is unhappy in his job and longs to go back to the days of his superhero glory. I am not going to go too into detail of this movie, in case anyone has not seen it. I hate it when people ruin the movie for me before I have even seen it. I would give it 9 out of 10 stars. Fun for everyone!
Next up for me is going to be The Ring Two. I can't wait til that comes out this Friday. Also, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is coming out in a few months. I am so looking foward to that one! Looks like this year is going to be a good one as far as movies go.
Can you say, "EWWW?"
A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She
gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with
both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap,or paper towels in the ladies room."
gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with
both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap,or paper towels in the ladies room."
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Lava in LA?
I was watching tv the other night, and this stupid movie called "Volcano" was on. Even Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle could not save this stupider-than-stupid movie. It pretty much was all special effects and no plot (unless you can call driving around LA and trying to put out fires and stopping lava a plot). It did have some memorable moments. Like the scene where the guy saves another person's life on the downed subway by picking him up and carrying him and jumping into the lava, sacrificing himself, and throwing the other guy to safety. That was cool. But that was the only good scene in the entire film. It did, however, have one of the funniest quotes in movies ...
(Museum personnel are moving paintings from a threatened museum)
1st Guard: "Man, this Hieronymus Bosch is heavy! "
2nd. Guard: "That's because he deals with man's inclination towards sin, in defiance of God's will."
1st. Guard: "I didn't mean it like that."
2nd. Guard: "Oh."
To me, that was just hilarious! (but then, I was an art major and know who Bosch was - lol)
Of course, it also had the lamest quote in movie history too...
Dr Amy Barnes: "We are dealing with very determined stuff here."
(referring to the lava)
I would give this movie a 4 out of 10 stars, only because of the Bosch quote, and the fact that Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle are in it (2 stars for the quote and 1 star each for Jones and Cheadle). Only watch this movie if there is absolutely nothing else on tv. And if it comes on tv late at night, do yourself a favor, and go to bed. Trust me, you will have a much better time.
(Museum personnel are moving paintings from a threatened museum)
1st Guard: "Man, this Hieronymus Bosch is heavy! "
2nd. Guard: "That's because he deals with man's inclination towards sin, in defiance of God's will."
1st. Guard: "I didn't mean it like that."
2nd. Guard: "Oh."
To me, that was just hilarious! (but then, I was an art major and know who Bosch was - lol)
Of course, it also had the lamest quote in movie history too...
Dr Amy Barnes: "We are dealing with very determined stuff here."
(referring to the lava)
I would give this movie a 4 out of 10 stars, only because of the Bosch quote, and the fact that Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle are in it (2 stars for the quote and 1 star each for Jones and Cheadle). Only watch this movie if there is absolutely nothing else on tv. And if it comes on tv late at night, do yourself a favor, and go to bed. Trust me, you will have a much better time.
Alicia's baby shower for baby Alana - March 12, 2005 - she probably needed like 2 or 3 cars to carry home all of her stuff ! I wonder where she put it all - hehe
Posted by Hello
Saturday, March 12, 2005
This can come in handy at work
1 )I'm not sure that's feasible. (No way, asshole)
2) Really? ( You gotta be shittin' me!)
3) I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. (Screw it; I'm on salary)
4) Of course I'm concerned. (Ask me if I give a shit!)
5) You don't say. (Eat shit)
6) Excuse me? (Eat shit and die)
7) Excuse me, sir? (Eat shit and die, asshole!)
8) So you'd like my help with that? (Kiss my ass.)
9) I love a challenge. (This job sucks)
10) I see. (Blow me.)
Posted by Hello
a true testament to my klutziness - I tripped out on my patio and took a header to the ground - I am such a dork - lol
Posted by Hello
Ad nonsense...
Commercials....they are everywhere. On tv, on billboards, on the radio....everywhere you go, there is an ad trying to get you to buy something or another. Now, granted, there have been some good commericals (can't think of any right now - lol)...but I have to tell you that there have been some downright bad ones too. Some of these mascots or spokespeople/things are just either creepy or downright obnoxious. The worst offenders, in my opinion, are : 1) Quinzos 2) Mc Donald's 3) Geico 4) De Taco 5) Dell, and 6) Burger King.
Long has the day passed when "Where's the beef?" was all the rage. Now it's "Dude, you got a Dell," or "Have it your way." Sometimes I wish commercials didn't exist, but then that will never happen. Even worse, are the "local" commercials...the worst offenders being car dealerships. They will do anything to sell something...
Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
Long has the day passed when "Where's the beef?" was all the rage. Now it's "Dude, you got a Dell," or "Have it your way." Sometimes I wish commercials didn't exist, but then that will never happen. Even worse, are the "local" commercials...the worst offenders being car dealerships. They will do anything to sell something...
Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
Quizno's Subs
ok - I wanna know who in the hell came up with this creepy, furry, thingamabob to sell sandwiches??? What the f*ck is this??? It looks like a rabbit's foot with a face. Either that or a mutilated mouse. I am sorry, but this does not make me want to run out and buy a sandwich...it makes me want to run away and hide.
Posted by Hello
Ok - so he was cute at first, but now he is just annoying - Geico...Gecko...doesn't even really sound that much alike.
Posted by Hello
I hate the Del Taco guy! Why do these places constantly bombard us with these annoying spokespeople? Is this supposed to make us want to buy their stuff more???
Posted by Hello
Dude, you're getting on my nerves .... take your Dell and shove it - I hated this guy - I am glad they got rid of his annoying as*
Posted by Hello
I hate this mascot - ugh - he just looks so creepy - like Ronald McDonald, only with a crown - yuck!
Posted by Hello
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Alicia sent me some pics of her ultrasound - this is one of those new 4-D ones - neat!
Posted by Hello
TGIT!!!
Thank goodness it is Thursday. 3-day weekend, here I come. I am so glad this work week is over. I would do cartwheels, but I have a skirt on, and I don't think I want to go exposing my behind to everyone (besides, with my klutziness, I would probably fall on my head). Walking around this building, I am noticing more and more people are retiring or leaving. I think I passed like 6 or 7 flyers just on the way to the bathroom announcing a different person's impending retirement, or saying that someone is leaving the department. I guess it is retirement season or something. You would think that with all these people retiring, there would be some additional parking places, but that is not the case. The parking lot is as full as ever, and we are hiring more people on (which we really need!) I just got an email saying that they are having overtime available on the 19th, which is a Saturday, but I am not gonna do that. Work .... on a Saturday? That is just wrong!
It is hard to believe that it is already March 10th. My dad will turn 63 on the 22nd, my parents' anniversary is on the 30th, and I will turn 33 on April 4th, which is less than a month away. I think birthdays, for me, ceased to be fun after I turned 29 - lol. All I usually get on my birthday are a few more gray hairs and a new number tacked onto my identity. I don't usually get a birthday cake. I doubt there is a cake big enough to handle all those candles anyway, and if there was, I would probably keel over from lack of oxygen trying to blow them all out. So maybe it is a good thing that I won't have a cake - lol.
Last nite's American Idol was ok. I am glad Anwar, Nadia, Bo and Carrie are still in it. That is probably the only reality-based tv show/competition that I like. South Park was hilarious last nite. Mr Garrison became Ms Garrison after he had a sex change operation (which of course, pissed off Mr Slave)...Kyle's dad had a "trans-species" operation to make him look like a dolphin, and Kyle wanted to be black so he could play basketball better. Funny stuff. I missed Mythbusters though, dangit. I wonder what the outcome of the yawning thing was. I guess I will find out on a rerun sometime.
It is hard to believe that it is already March 10th. My dad will turn 63 on the 22nd, my parents' anniversary is on the 30th, and I will turn 33 on April 4th, which is less than a month away. I think birthdays, for me, ceased to be fun after I turned 29 - lol. All I usually get on my birthday are a few more gray hairs and a new number tacked onto my identity. I don't usually get a birthday cake. I doubt there is a cake big enough to handle all those candles anyway, and if there was, I would probably keel over from lack of oxygen trying to blow them all out. So maybe it is a good thing that I won't have a cake - lol.
Last nite's American Idol was ok. I am glad Anwar, Nadia, Bo and Carrie are still in it. That is probably the only reality-based tv show/competition that I like. South Park was hilarious last nite. Mr Garrison became Ms Garrison after he had a sex change operation (which of course, pissed off Mr Slave)...Kyle's dad had a "trans-species" operation to make him look like a dolphin, and Kyle wanted to be black so he could play basketball better. Funny stuff. I missed Mythbusters though, dangit. I wonder what the outcome of the yawning thing was. I guess I will find out on a rerun sometime.
So true ... so sad
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
~ I guess I am getting old, cuz I can relate to a lot of these ...so sad...I am gonna cry now - lol
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Yawn....
Man I am tired. I even went to bed at a decent hour last nite and got my 8 hours of sleep for once. So why am I so tired?? I even laid my head on my desk today at lunch time and dozed off instead of actually eating lunch. Luckily, I remembered to take off my bracelet before I laid my head on my arm, so I didn't end up with a big imprint of it in my forehead (and yes, I have done that before). I am so ready to go home right now. My whole upper body feels like I have been beaten up (that's what fibromyalgia does to you). I just want to go home and take a nice, long bubble bath and relax. Tonite South Park is on, and so is Myth Busters. And American Idol is on, too, so at least I will have something to watch on tv. Tonite on Myth Busters, they are gonna test to see if yawning really is contagious (just thinking about it is making me yawn, so I think it is!) and see when bread falls on the floor, if it always lands on the buttered side. That should be interesting to see. I have never even thought about that before. Anyway, at least it is Wednesday today, which means I just have to get through tomorrow to get to my 3-day weekend. Gotta love it.
Who says you can't take it with you?
Apparently, now you can take your porn with you...on your cell phone...
Sexy Moans for Mobile Phones
Wed Mar 9, 9:20 AM ET
Oddly Enough - Reuters
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Adult film company New Frontier Media has something new for cell phones: ring moans.
Wireless content company Brickhouse Mobile on Tuesday said that under an agreement with New Frontier it would begin offering ring tones for mobile phone users featuring porn stars making groaning and moaning noises from the suggestive to the positively tantalizing.
The company said it would also begin offering sexually explicit "wallpaper" for cell phone screens and adult videos for download on mobile phones under its brand The Erotic Network, the television subsidiary of New Frontier Media Inc.
Brickhouse and New Frontier signed their five-year deal in January but did not disclose full terms of the program until Tuesday. Users will be able to buy individual items or take a monthly subscription.
The two sides said they would also work together on age-verification schemes to ensure that minors were not purchasing inappropriate content. Much of the more explicit content will be available internationally at first.
I wonder what they will come up with next...then again, I am kind of afraid - lol.
Sexy Moans for Mobile Phones
Wed Mar 9, 9:20 AM ET
Oddly Enough - Reuters
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Adult film company New Frontier Media has something new for cell phones: ring moans.
Wireless content company Brickhouse Mobile on Tuesday said that under an agreement with New Frontier it would begin offering ring tones for mobile phone users featuring porn stars making groaning and moaning noises from the suggestive to the positively tantalizing.
The company said it would also begin offering sexually explicit "wallpaper" for cell phone screens and adult videos for download on mobile phones under its brand The Erotic Network, the television subsidiary of New Frontier Media Inc.
Brickhouse and New Frontier signed their five-year deal in January but did not disclose full terms of the program until Tuesday. Users will be able to buy individual items or take a monthly subscription.
The two sides said they would also work together on age-verification schemes to ensure that minors were not purchasing inappropriate content. Much of the more explicit content will be available internationally at first.
I wonder what they will come up with next...then again, I am kind of afraid - lol.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Random thought of the night . . .
Why are men so afraid of commitment? Think for a moment about the word "commit." As a verb... you have an insane person "commited" to an assylum. As an adjective... you are in a "commited" relationship. Hmmm....from these two examples, one would assume that being in a committed relationship is like being in a sanitarium. No wonder men are so afraid of commitment!
my desk - nice and organized - probably cuz I don't have a caseload right now - no, no, no - I can't lie - I am always like this - I am so freaking anal!
Posted by Hello
Awww...how cute...
I have a hamster, but I don't do this for mine - lol....
Let's Leave Some Little Hamster Magazines, Too...
Tue Mar 8, 7:55 AM ET
Oddly Enough - Reuters
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who went on holiday left his stereo and lights on so that his pet hamster would not feel lonely in the empty apartment, a police spokesman said on Monday after breaking into it over fears the man may have died.
The spokesman for police in Bremen said police broke open the door after being alerted by neighbors that loud music was playing non-stop for five days and the lights were left on. No one answered the door when they knocked, police said.
"There was a fear the occupant might have been disabled or dead," a police spokesman said. "All we found was a pet hamster. The occupant was away on holiday. A friend of his arrived and said he left the music on so the hamster wouldn't feel lonely."
The spokesman said the friend of the occupant, who is still on holiday and not reachable, told police she visited every few days to feed the golden hamster food and provide water. She promised to turn the music down and come by more often.
- if only people were that thoughtful of other people. The world would be such a better place. (maybe the owner should think to turn the music down a bit next time though...lol)
Let's Leave Some Little Hamster Magazines, Too...
Tue Mar 8, 7:55 AM ET
Oddly Enough - Reuters
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who went on holiday left his stereo and lights on so that his pet hamster would not feel lonely in the empty apartment, a police spokesman said on Monday after breaking into it over fears the man may have died.
The spokesman for police in Bremen said police broke open the door after being alerted by neighbors that loud music was playing non-stop for five days and the lights were left on. No one answered the door when they knocked, police said.
"There was a fear the occupant might have been disabled or dead," a police spokesman said. "All we found was a pet hamster. The occupant was away on holiday. A friend of his arrived and said he left the music on so the hamster wouldn't feel lonely."
The spokesman said the friend of the occupant, who is still on holiday and not reachable, told police she visited every few days to feed the golden hamster food and provide water. She promised to turn the music down and come by more often.
- if only people were that thoughtful of other people. The world would be such a better place. (maybe the owner should think to turn the music down a bit next time though...lol)
Quiz time
You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You Are A Realistic Romantic |
You are more romantic than 60% of the population.  It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line! |
Friday the 13th part...which part are they on now??
Apparently, Jason still lives, because I just read that they are planning another Friday the 13th movie (Jason should just be a ghost by now - he can still kill people that way - c'mon Jason - DIE ALREADY!). Looks like Quentin Tarantino wants in on all the Jason action...
'Friday' Horror Draws Tarantino
Tue Mar 8, 2:00 AM ET
Entertainment - Reuters
By Borys Kit
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Quentin Tarantino is considering writing and directing a new installment in the long-running "Friday the 13th" horror film series.
Reuters Photo
Tarantino is in early talks with New Line Cinema, where he is scheduled to meet with executives this week.
The original "Friday," released in 1980 and featuring the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees, spawned a series of sequels, including the 2003 hit "Freddy vs. Jason," in which Jason squared off against Freddy Krueger from the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series.
New Line tried to make a sequel to "Freddy vs. Jason" involving the "Evil Dead" character Ash, but it couldn't reach a deal with "Dead" rights holder Sam Raimi.
According to those familiar with the discussions, Tarantino is intrigued with the idea of playing with one of the movie's classic horror villains. If the project does develop, it could be the first film Tarantino directs outside Miramax Films.
The filmmaker, whose credits include "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction," recently signed on to direct the season finale of CBS' "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation."
Reuters/Hollywood Reporter
~ All I can say to this is that I am glad Sam Raimi didn't let them suck Ash into this whole Jason nonsense. Ash would definitely kick Jason's mangled, burned, hacked-up, bag of bones as* anyway. I think I stopped watching Friday the 13th after the 3rd part. I am sure Jason is looking pretty nasty around now. I don't know how you could not know he was coming. He must stink pretty bad by now.
'Friday' Horror Draws Tarantino
Tue Mar 8, 2:00 AM ET
Entertainment - Reuters
By Borys Kit
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Quentin Tarantino is considering writing and directing a new installment in the long-running "Friday the 13th" horror film series.
Reuters Photo
Tarantino is in early talks with New Line Cinema, where he is scheduled to meet with executives this week.
The original "Friday," released in 1980 and featuring the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees, spawned a series of sequels, including the 2003 hit "Freddy vs. Jason," in which Jason squared off against Freddy Krueger from the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series.
New Line tried to make a sequel to "Freddy vs. Jason" involving the "Evil Dead" character Ash, but it couldn't reach a deal with "Dead" rights holder Sam Raimi.
According to those familiar with the discussions, Tarantino is intrigued with the idea of playing with one of the movie's classic horror villains. If the project does develop, it could be the first film Tarantino directs outside Miramax Films.
The filmmaker, whose credits include "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction," recently signed on to direct the season finale of CBS' "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation."
Reuters/Hollywood Reporter
~ All I can say to this is that I am glad Sam Raimi didn't let them suck Ash into this whole Jason nonsense. Ash would definitely kick Jason's mangled, burned, hacked-up, bag of bones as* anyway. I think I stopped watching Friday the 13th after the 3rd part. I am sure Jason is looking pretty nasty around now. I don't know how you could not know he was coming. He must stink pretty bad by now.
Monday, March 07, 2005
My favorite poem
Ode To a Nightingale
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
’Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,—
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
’Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,—
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.
O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
Cool’d a long age in the deep-delved earth,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.
O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
Cool’d a long age in the deep-delved earth,
Tasting of Flora and the country green,
Dance, and Provencal song, and sunburnt mirth!
O for a beaker full of the warm South,
Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,
With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
And purple-stained mouth;
That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,
And with thee fade away into the forest dim:
Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last gray hairs,
Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
And leaden-eyed despairs,
Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.
Away! away! for I will fly to thee,
Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy,
Though the dull brain perplexes and retards:
Already with thee! tender is the night,
And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,
Cluster’d around by all her starry Fays;
But here there is no light,
Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown
Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.
I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,
Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,
But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet
Wherewith the seasonable month endows
The grass, the thicket, and the fruit-tree wild;
White hawthorn, and the pastoral eglantine;
Fast fading violets cover’d up in leaves;
And mid-May’s eldest child,
The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,
The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.
Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
I have been half in love with easeful Death,
Call’d him soft names in many a mused rhyme,
To take into the air my quiet breath;
Now more than ever seems it rich to die,
To cease upon the midnight with no pain,
While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
Dance, and Provencal song, and sunburnt mirth!
O for a beaker full of the warm South,
Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,
With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
And purple-stained mouth;
That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,
And with thee fade away into the forest dim:
Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last gray hairs,
Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
And leaden-eyed despairs,
Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.
Away! away! for I will fly to thee,
Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy,
Though the dull brain perplexes and retards:
Already with thee! tender is the night,
And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,
Cluster’d around by all her starry Fays;
But here there is no light,
Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown
Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.
I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,
Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,
But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet
Wherewith the seasonable month endows
The grass, the thicket, and the fruit-tree wild;
White hawthorn, and the pastoral eglantine;
Fast fading violets cover’d up in leaves;
And mid-May’s eldest child,
The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,
The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.
Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
I have been half in love with easeful Death,
Call’d him soft names in many a mused rhyme,
To take into the air my quiet breath;
Now more than ever seems it rich to die,
To cease upon the midnight with no pain,
While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
In such an ecstasy!
Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain—
To thy high requiem become a sod.
Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.
Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toil me back from thee to my sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
As she is fam’d to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
Up the hill-side; and now ’tis buried deep,
Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain—
To thy high requiem become a sod.
Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.
Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toil me back from thee to my sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
As she is fam’d to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
Up the hill-side; and now ’tis buried deep,
In the next valley-glades:
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music:—Do I wake or sleep?
John Keats (1795-1821)
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music:—Do I wake or sleep?
John Keats (1795-1821)
I love this poem because of Keats's use of alliteration, allusion and the way he uses sounds of the words to convey feeling in the poem. At the end of the poem, you are left wondering if the whole experience was just a dream or was it reality, a question which is left up to the reader to interpret. Keats is my favorite of all of the Romantic poets, and the fact that he died at such a young age just leaves me to wonder what more he could have written had he stayed on earth for a while longer.
Everyone rejoice for . . .
A brand-spanking new season of South Park begins Wednesday, March 9th! Woo hoo! I can't wait to see what Matt and Trey will be bringing to us this season, but here is a sneak peak at Season 9's first episode....
Episode 901 - Press Release The boys’ teacher gets in touch with his feminine side in the ninth season premiere of “South Park," entitled "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina," premiering Wednesday, March 9 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.
Tune in Wednesday, March 9th at 10 pm to see.
And if you like South Park, you may want to check out http://southparkstudios.com
Episode 901 - Press Release The boys’ teacher gets in touch with his feminine side in the ninth season premiere of “South Park," entitled "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina," premiering Wednesday, March 9 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.
Tune in Wednesday, March 9th at 10 pm to see.
And if you like South Park, you may want to check out http://southparkstudios.com
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Oh what a beautiful morning....
I woke up this morning, very, very happy. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I had a fantastic Saturday, so I was glad that Sunday went equally as great. I saw the movie, Sideways, and it was hilarious, touching, and just one great picture. I think Paul Giamatti deserved an Oscar nod for his tun as Miles, the depressed and sensitive divorcee who is having a hard time letting go of his past. He really was superb in this movie. He should have gotten a nomination. I think he was overlooked...big time. All the other actors were great too, but he was the one who really affected me the most. I would give it 2 thumbs way up! The scenery was beautiful. Seeing the movie makes me want to go wine tasting, and I don't even drink wine.
(Miles and Jack tasting some wine in Sideways)
I had an awesome weekend, for once! Great movie, absolutely wonderful company, and I got to sleep in. That is what a good weekend is all about : )
Miles: "Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet. "
(Miles explaining why he likes Pinot better than all the other wines)
(Miles and Jack tasting some wine in Sideways)
I had an awesome weekend, for once! Great movie, absolutely wonderful company, and I got to sleep in. That is what a good weekend is all about : )
Miles: "Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet. "
(Miles explaining why he likes Pinot better than all the other wines)
Friday, March 04, 2005
Thank goodness ...
Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
Raindrops keep falling on my head...
A very wet day in Bakersfield
Posted by Hello
ok - where did this downpour come from? This morning when I looked up the weather, it said "am showers" - SHOWERS - not a freakin' downpour! It was nice this morning...all sunny and not at all cold. So, of course, I did not bring my jacket with me to work. I did have my umbrella in the car though. It was not til the afternoon that it started raining....a sprinkle at first, then it got harder, and harder, until it was pouring...then came the hail, and the thunder and lightning. Pretty soon it looked like an ocean outside. The road down the way got flooded, and the power went out for like 3 seconds, but that was 3 seconds long enough to knock out the traffic lights. So the drive home took forever, because the traffic lights were out down the road. The weather says "partly cloudy" tomorrow, but earlier it said "showers." So who knows what it will be like tomorrow. The weather forecast keeps changing by the hour it seems. That is why I always keep an umbrella in my car!
They will sell ANYTHING on Ebay
When I came across this story on the internet, I thought it was a joke. Some woman apparently is auctioning off her breast implant...yeah, a breast implant. Apparently, some time ago, she worked in a strip joint, and her big boobs supposedly caused a man whiplash, so he sued her. I guess she got tired of big boobs, so she had the implants removed and now is auctioning one of them off on Ebay. I looked it up, and yes, it is real.
This is the ad...
You are bidding on a PIECE OF HISTORY!
The infamous Playboy Cover Girl TAWNY PEAKS BREAST IMPLANT.
This is the implant from the first known documented Law Suit over
ASSAULT with a BREAST.
It made News World Wide.
You will receive the implant autographed to your specification
You will also receive a picture of Tawny Peaks signing the implant.
You will also receive an autographed copy of the Court Documented Complaint
the last time I looked, the high bid was $16,750 - yes, that is sixteen THOUSAND seven hundred fifty dollars. CRAZY! I guess they will sell anything on Ebay.
This is the ad...
You are bidding on a PIECE OF HISTORY!
The infamous Playboy Cover Girl TAWNY PEAKS BREAST IMPLANT.
This is the implant from the first known documented Law Suit over
ASSAULT with a BREAST.
It made News World Wide.
You will receive the implant autographed to your specification
You will also receive a picture of Tawny Peaks signing the implant.
You will also receive an autographed copy of the Court Documented Complaint
the last time I looked, the high bid was $16,750 - yes, that is sixteen THOUSAND seven hundred fifty dollars. CRAZY! I guess they will sell anything on Ebay.
Urban legend or fact...only the Mythbusters can tell
Jamie prepares to make his co-host ... toast. (Not really, though. Obviously.)
Ever heard the legend that a man killed another man by throwing a playing card at him really hard, cutting his throat and killing him? Or did you ever hear the one about the woman who had been driving her car after grocery shopping on a hot day, and heard a loud "pop" and when she reached her hand to the back of her head, she felt what she thought were her brains leaking out of her head (turned out it was biscuit dough which had popped out of the can)? How about the one where a man supposedly survived a fall off of a scaffold by holding a piece of plywood, using it as a kind of glider? These are the kinds of things that hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman test out on each episode of Mythbusters. I love this show. They test out each of these myths in every way possible, trying their hardest to make them work. Sometimes they are found to be "plausible," and other times they are "busted." You can see this show on the Discovery Channel, every Wednesday at 9 pm (PT).
Here are a few examples of some episodes ...
Episode 21: Pingpong Rescue - It's wet-suit time for the MythBusters as Adam and Jamie investigate whether it's possible to lift a sunken boat from the ocean floor using only pingpong balls. Then Scottie, Tori and Kari get carried away testing a common Hollywood scene: Just how many balloons does it take to lift a 3-year-old child off the ground? premiere: Nov. 3, 2004
Episode 23: Exploding House - Just how hard is it to find a needle in a haystack? Egos fly as the MythBusters get competitive creating the supreme needle-finding machine. Then, returning to their familiar territory of blowing stuff up in the name of science, Jamie and Adam arm themselves with roach foggers and an abandoned apartment building to find out if toxic fumes and bug bombs really are an explosive combination. Finally, the MythBuilders hit the roof to prove whether or not whispering sweet nothings to your plants is the secret to gardening success. premiere: Nov. 16, 2004
Episode 4: Penny Drop, Deadly Microwaves, Radio Tooth Fillings - Can pennies from heaven kill? Or, more specifically, can a penny dropped from a skyscraper kill a pedestrian on the sidewalk below? Jamie and Adam take the challenge, hopefully without deadly results. Speaking of fatal fallacies, is it possible to literally bake yourself on a tanning bed from the inside out? The guys also investigate the claim that Lucille Ball exposed a Japanese spy ring by listening to radio signals transmitted by her tooth fillings. Hmmm ...
Episode 5: Hammer Bridge Drop, Buried Alive, Cola - Can Jamie and Adam cheat death? We'll find out. First, they test the theory that a person could survive a leap from a bridge by throwing a hammer in the water first. According to urban legend, the hammer should break the plane of the water's surface, thereby softening the landing. They'll also investigate whether it's possible to survive being buried alive. How long would it take before all oxygen is cut off inside the coffin causing suffocation? On the lighter side, the guys will take a look at the many myths about cola. Can it remove bloodstains, clean rust or cook a steak? They'll get back to you on that
Thursday, March 03, 2005
MXC rocks!
Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is, without a doubt, the funniest game show on tv. It is actually a Japanese tv game show called "Takeshi's Castle," and it is overdubbed in English, with a whole lot of humor and sexual innuendo. It is hosted by Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, along with Guy LeDouche, who is sort of a field correspondant, and Captain Tenneal, the ringmaster of the whole show (all names are fictional of course). They have games like "Log Drop," "Pole Riders," "Eat Shitake," "Wet Spot," "Hand Job," and "Irritable Bowl Syndrome." These games are crazy! I am surprised anyone can actually make it through one of these stunts. But most of the time, the contestants crash and burn, the worst of which are featured at the end of the show in a segment called "Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful Eliminations of The Day." You can see it on Spike TV. The next airing will be on Saturday, March 5th at 9:30 pm (ET/PT).
"Don't get eliminated!"
More quizzes for the insanely bored
Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
 You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
You Are 20 Years Old |
20 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Float On by Modest Mouse |
 "Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands Good news will work its way to all them plans" Laid back and real, people appreciated you for you are in 2004. |
Funny Stuff from George Carlin
"Darts could have been a sport, because at least there is a chance to put someone's eye out. But, alas, dart will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic."
"Just think, right now, all over the world there are people excercising bad judgment. Somebody, right this minute, is probably making the mistake of his life."
"What's wrong with having a prison in your neighborhood? It seems to me it would make for a fairly crime-free area. You think a lot of crackheads and thieves and hookers are gonna be hangin around in front of a prison? And if a couple of the prisoners do manage to escape, what do you think they are gonna do? Check real estate prices? That's the whole idea of breakin' out of prison: to get as far away as you possibly can."
"Just think, right now, all over the world there are people excercising bad judgment. Somebody, right this minute, is probably making the mistake of his life."
"What's wrong with having a prison in your neighborhood? It seems to me it would make for a fairly crime-free area. You think a lot of crackheads and thieves and hookers are gonna be hangin around in front of a prison? And if a couple of the prisoners do manage to escape, what do you think they are gonna do? Check real estate prices? That's the whole idea of breakin' out of prison: to get as far away as you possibly can."
Zombies and vampires and werewolves, oh my!
Thanks to horror movies, we can't be sure that anything we see is "safe." You never know if that is a regular frog, or if it is some flesh-eating, radioactive zombie frog. When you see that man coming down the street, you don't know if he will smile at you as he walks past, or if he will pull out a machete and cut your head off. When you walk in a graveyard, you watch your step to make sure a zombie won't poke its arm out of the ground and grab your foot. Because of horror movies, we won't go to bed until we have made sure the closet door is shut and we have checked under our beds for the boogeyman (and whatever else may be lurking there)...although I am not sure what we could really do if we found the boogeyman under the bed...hmmm...
I love horror movies. I think part of it is because I like to be scared, but only scared in the fictional sense. I don't like to be scared in real-life situations. There is a definite difference in horror movies and something horrible in real life. When you watch a scary movie, you KNOW that it is fake blood and that they are only actors. You KNOW that those are fake limbs that are being ripped off, and you know that makeup and animatronics are what make the monsters look so convincingly real. That is why I like horror movies. They entertain you. They scare you, but don't hurt you. They gross you out. They make you cover your eyes. They make you jump in your seat. But they are not real. Real life is way more terrifying than any scary movie. If you don't believe me, watch the news sometime.
Plus, some scary movies are just plain silly. They try to be all scary, but when it comes down to it, they are just plain dumb. Take a movie like Deadly Friend. It is all about a kid whose next door neighbor is killed and he brings her back to life, but she is not like she was before. She, in essence, is a zombie, who is incapable of feeling, but is apparently capable of killing. The acting is terrible, and the plot is pretty much non-existant. It is one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. Yet, when it was on tv the last time, I stayed up until it was over to watch it...for what reason, I don't know! And how many times can Jason really come back from the dead? By now he should just be a pile of bones. Scary movies tend to suck you in like that, whether they are of good quality, like The Exorcist, or just plain dumb, like Crocodile. They have movies out there about everything under the sun...from killer rabbits (Night of The Lepus), killer frogs (Frogs), killer worms (Squirm), killer fish (Pirhana), and killer bees (The Swarm). They have the slashers like Jason, Freddy and Michael Meyers, who have what seems like a neverending arsenal of weapons, and kill their victims in new and inventive ways. Then they have the monster movies featuring monsters like werewolves, vampires, zombies and radiated, mutated humanoids. I swear, I don't think there is any area that horror writers haven't touched.
I, of course, have my favorites. I love Halloween and all of The Evil Dead movies. I like the straight-on, in your face, thrill-a-minute screamers as much as I like the cheesy horror films, with the horrible acting and not-so-special effects. I like the campy horror films and the low budget slashers. I just like scary movies, period.
There haven't been too many scary movies recently which I have thought were really good. I did like Dawn of The Dead, 28 Days Later, and The Grudge. And I can't wait til The Ring 2 comes out. I have been watching those Japanese horror movies lately, like the Ju-on series (Ju-On means "The Grudge"), The Wishing Stairs, and Ringu (which The Ring was based on). And there was a Cambodian movie called The Eye, which was really good too. What makes those movies so good, is that they favor eerieness over blood and gore. And the creepy quality to those movies is what makes them so scary. Plus, a lot of them have the token creepy little kid in them, and you know that horror movie plus creepy little kid is the equation for a reallllllly creepy horror film...the kind that makes the hair on the back of your head stand up.
I guess there will always be the writers out there who see something and think, "I bet I can make a horror movie out of that!" I am sure we will eventually see a movie about a killer copying machine or a killer microwave. Who knows. Thankfully, there are a lot of writers out there who care about quality, and not about how big their body count is. And I think, because of that, we will continue to be scared in new and neverending ways.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
South Park Rocks!!
Here are the lyrics to the famous "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" song.....
Well, Kyle's mom is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a Super-King-Kamehameha Beeyatch
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
She's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's just a dirty bitch!
Kyle's mom...is a...biiiitch! Tchah!
Well, Kyle's mom is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a Super-King-Kamehameha Beeyatch
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
She's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's just a dirty bitch!
Kyle's mom...is a...biiiitch! Tchah!
Quizzes.......
There are alot of quizzes out there in net land...most of them are pretty stupid...but these are kinda fun...
My outercourse activity is snuggling!
Which Sexual Outercourse Act Are You? (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
My outercourse activity is snuggling!
Which Sexual Outercourse Act Are You? (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Deb and you could drink whole milk if you
wanted.
Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A poem by TS Eliot
La Figlia che Piange
STAND on the highest pavement of the stair—
Lean on a garden urn—
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair—
Clasp your flowers to you with a pained surprise—
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.
So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve,
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft,
Some way we both should understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and shake of the hand.
She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers.
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose.
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight and the noon’s repose.
STAND on the highest pavement of the stair—
Lean on a garden urn—
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair—
Clasp your flowers to you with a pained surprise—
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.
So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve,
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft,
Some way we both should understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and shake of the hand.
She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers.
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose.
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight and the noon’s repose.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
My other blogs:
