Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Men, you really CAN overcome your wife's resistance to a new TV, if you (a) take the time to listen - really listen - to her objections; then (b) respond patiently and sincerely, without resorting to browbeating; then (c) when she falls asleep, smash your current TV screen with a brick. 'I don't know how it happened!' should be your explanation. 'I was tossing a brick around in the family room like I always do, and BOOM! Now if we don't get a new, larger TV, we'll have no way to watch Oprah, or romantic movies starring Hugh Grant!' That will get her. Women LOVE Hugh Grant, Mr. Charming with his floppy hair and his accent. I bet he has a tiny diagonal. Not that I think about it."