Let's go somewhere!

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks. You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next. And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

What's Your Travel Personality?

American Idol update

Once again, Stankaya stays. He wasn't even in the bottom 3 (again). But at least they sent Haley packing. She was almost as bad as Stankaya.

Hopefully, he will go away soon.

Mmmmm caramel

Caramel Frappuccino

Creative and expressive, you tend to match your Frappuccino flavor to your mood. And a flavored syrup is always a must!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

Busy (but fun) weekend - Very bad Monday

I LOVE my new camera. Holy sh*t. I would marry it if it were legal. Ok, well I wouldn't go THAT far, but I do love it.

Why else would I drive allllll the way up to Willows, CA (which is 372 miles from Bakersfield, by the way) just to take pictures??? Ok, maybe I didn't go up there just to take pictures. Everyone knows I am a nature buff. I love nature, wildlife and birdwatching. And what better excuse can there be to take a road trip than to go see some wildlife and take some pictures? I left the house on Saturday just before 7 am and got back home around 12:20 am on Sunday morning. Am I crazy? Perhaps. But I got some pictures and I saw some animals and birds I had never seen before. I will post some pictures eventually. I already posted a few in the "Things I have seen" album. But since I was sick today and hadn't felt well until now, I didn't get a chance to post very many.

I don't know what made me sick. Maybe it was the orange chicken I had at Panda Express last night. Maybe it was the combination of being exhausted beyond reason from driving over 800 miles in one day all by myself along with the very little food I had to eat over the last few days (I didn't eat anything until like 3 pm yesterday and that was just a bag of chips). I don't know what it was, but holy hell, I was sick today. My stomach was racked by cramps and nausea and I was shaking all over. And then there was the "other" thing which I won't discuss right here. Trust me, it was gross. I feel better now, but I still have a headache and my tummy is still feeling a little icky. No more orange chicken for me for a while!

Now, I must go to bed so I can go to work tomorrow. I don't like waking up early for work, but I would rather go to work than to go thru another day like today! Phooey to being sick. Phooey!!!

Happy Easter!

New camera - woo hoo!!!!!!!!

I bought myself a birthday present today. I got me a new digital SLR camera....





It is a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi - I have been playing around with it for a little while and already LOVE it. I also got a 75-300 mm lens and a 18-55 mm lens and a shutter release remote control. I spent a pretty penny on it, but hell. I am worth it I want a macro lens too, but that is gonna cost me another $400-$500. Maybe in a month or two....but I MUST have it - lol. I am such a nerd.

I smell a road trip coming on..... hehe

American Idol Night

In summary: Melinda rocked. Lakisha and Jordin were awesome. Blake and Chris were good. Gina was not bad. Haley and Phil were so-so. Sanjaya SUCKED.

My bottom 3: Phil, Haley and Sanjaya.

Who's going home: Phil. (Who SHOULD go home and should have gone home a long ass time ago: Stankaya)

I am turning 35 tomorrow, and the only thing that can take the sting out of having another birthday is to see Stankaya take his whiny voice and go the hell home already.

Please, make my birthday wish come true.

Hop hop hoppity

Easter Bunny Name Your Easter Bunny Name is Flopsy Choco-paws Get Your Easter Bunny Name at Quizopolis.com

A Day in the Bay Area

I went on a day trip up to the Bay Area on Friday. You can see more pictures by checking out my other blog (click HERE).

Easter time!

My little guys are all ready for Easter!


Peanut's got his bunny ears on.



Peanut and Lil Oreo have found a lot of Easter eggs.



Peanut's surrounded by eggs.

The curse of Stankaya continues

I have just one thing to say about American Idol..... crappity crap crap. Stankaya is still in the game. He wasn't even in the bottom 3. I give up.

You know who they booted off? Chris Sligh. Yeah. Not Haley or Stankaya. Chris. Who are these people who are voting. I want their names and addresses so I can personally go to their house and kick their asses.

I really wish Ryan Wussycrest would stop saying, "America, you voted ..." because that implies that all Americans have bad taste in music.

At least there is a new episode of South Park is on tonite so that it can take the bitter taste of American Idol out of my mouth.

Oh yeah. I can see again now. I had to go to the opthamologist today for my semiannual plaquenil screen. Woo hoo. Big fun. Got to have my eyes numbed and dilated. I look so forward to that every 6 months. I don't know why they have to render you nearly blind so that they can check your eyes for disease. I couldn't even read anything for hours after the exam. I took a nap to sleep it out because I couldn't see to do anything else. I get to have the same fun again in September.

I just can't wait for that.

I resemble that comment!

You Are 57% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

You Are Samuel Adams

You're fairly easy to please when it comes to beer - as long as it's not too cheap. You tend to change favorite beers frequently, and you're the type most likely to take a "beers of the world" tour. When you get drunk, you're fearless. You lose all your inhibitions. You're just as likely to party with a group of strangers as you are to wake up in a very foreign place.

What's Your Beer Personality?

American Idol Night

Tonite's AI went down pretty much as it usually does. Melinda was awesome. Sanjaya sucked.

Normally, Sanjaya's singing alone would have made me nauseous. But tonight both his singing and his hair made me wanna puke. His hair alone should get him booted off the show. Someone should have told him that a faux-hawk does not work on a whiny Michael Jackson wannabe. It does work, however, to make him look ridiculous.

At least there were no crying kids in the audience this time.

Please kick him off the show so we won't have to be exposed to further vulgar displays of hair-creativity. Someone stop him! Please. For the love of all that is holy and good.......just stop him.!

Actually, Phil did a good job too. And so did Jordin and Blake. I still don't like Haley. If San-can't sing-jaya doesn't get kicked off this week (and the way things have been going, I doubt he will), Haley will.

But I am still hoping that enough people will vote for other people instead of Stankaya so they can kick his ass off for good.

And on a completely unrelated note, what the f*ck is up with that Always commercial telling us to have a "happy period?" There is NO such thing. Are you telling me that just by putting on one of their pads that it will take away all of the cramping and bloating and moodiness of that most joyful time of the month? Talk about false advertising.

And on another completely unrelated note, I am currently experiencing nosegasms brought on by my recent delivery of a huge ginger peach candle from Pier One (I caved in and paid $18 for the damned thing on Pier One's website but oh what a great purchase it was). They only had the big ones. I still want some votives and tealights (if they have them) and 3x4 candles too, but those are out of stock online (damned people stop buying all of my candles!!!) I love the way my apartment smells (but it would smell better if I had more candles - hehehehe). Pier One's Ginger Peach is the best smell in the world!

And here is a pretty pansy

Ok Arlene - are you happy now??

And here are some lovely violas

Just For Arlene

I finally got Blogger to post pictures again. And Arlene has been hounding me to show her flower pics, so here is a pic of one of my new flower plants....the lovely Gerbera Daisy - my favorite flower on the planet :)

Not necessarily the news

It has taken me this long to blog about the last round of AI eliminations that happened on Wednesday night. Yeah that damned San-can't sing-jaya is still in there, and they eliminated Stephanie, who actually CAN sing. It just goes to show you that if you put one kid in the audience that will cry when you sing, then you will be safe.

I still maintain that that kid was crying because Sanjaya's singing gave her an instant earache.

I took a drive up to the Carrizo Plain National Monument on Friday, hoping to see another awesome display of wildflowers. But I was disappointed to see very few yet. There were a few patches of goldfields and a few poppies here and there, but it was mostly dry and not very green yet. Guess we need some more rain before the flowers come out. I didn't see any antelope either, but I did see one smallish gopher snake sunning itself on the dirt road. It was maybe 2 feet long. Maybe next time I go up there I will see a few rattlesnakes like I have in the past.

We had a staff meeting on Thursday and the supervisors basically told us that they don't think our 9/80 schedule will be approved this year, so that means no more flex Fridays. Which is freakin' ridiculous because this schedule has been working successfully for the last few years. Why the freakin' board of assholes...I mean supervisors....wants to change it is beyond me. I can tell you that there will be a lot of unhappy employees.....including me...if it happens.

American Idol night

American Idol kinda rocked tonite. Most of the singers did a good job....especially Melinda (of course!), Blake, Jordin and Chris R (he was surprisingly good this time!)I think those were my favs of the night. Of course, Sanjaya sucked again (dude should have been kicked off a long time ago) and even tho the judges liked Haley, I didn't care for her performance very much. And Gina wasn't that great tonight either. And neither was Phil. I thought he would be one of the favorites, but tonight he wasn't so great. But overall, it was a pretty good night on the old AI.

Who's going home....Phil
Who SHOULD go home....Sanjaya.

The search for Ginger Peach candles continues

I don't know what the deal with this weather is. I was driving home from work on Friday and the thermometer on the bank said it was 91 degrees. 91 ! In March. Just a few weeks ago the temps were in the low 30's/high 20's. Now it is in the high 80's. Weirdness all around.

Not that I am complaining too much. My body hates the cold. The cold brings on my joint and bone pain and just makes me miserable. I prefer it in the 70's, but then again, what I prefer makes no difference to good ole Mother Nature.

I have been doing a lot of drawing lately (and even at work - hehe). Yeah, a few weeks ago I was complaining about all the work I was having to do at work, but now, since I am soooooooo fast, I just have a few cases left (I think 2 or 3) to work on. My supervisor told me I craked out over 30 cases in one week. Yeah, I am THAT fast - lol. But doing all that work left its mark on me. I was so exhausted on Friday after work that I took a nap around 6 pm that night and didn't wake up til after 10 pm. I also had a migraine on Thursday and left work early to go home and sleep it out. The damned thing was still aching my head on Friday. It just ain't fair.

But, as I was mentioning, I have been doing a lot of drawing. I went to Michael's and bought me a set of watercolor pencils and drawing pads. I have been drawing a lot of cartoony animals....soon I will have enough to fill my own zoo - hehe.

The damned AIM program was messed up on my computer so I wasn't able to sign on for a few days. It bugged me something fierce - not because I had people to talk to - but because when something goes wrong I HAVE to fix it or else it just eats at my brain until I can't think about anything else. (I have my problems! - lol)

Oh, and another problem is that I LOVE the Pier One Ginger Peach scented candles , but none of the stores here in town have any. I searched and searched, but none of the other stores have any other decent smelling peach candles (since I am being denied the Pier One ones), and I WANT SOME!!! Ugh. Why is it so hard to find peach candles and so easy to find those nasty smelling rose ones?

Guess I will have to look online.

Thank goodness for the internet and online shopping ;)

Now if they would only come up with online grocery shopping....hehe

Thanks a lot "America"...

Thanks for making me puke. Sanjaya is still in the show. F*ck.

At least you put him in the bottom 3.

I guess I can just dry heave.

Is it just me ....

or does it just seem wrong that KFC (which stands for Kentucky Fried CHICKEN) has come out with a FISH sandwich???

It is almost as weird as the Louisiana Fried Chicken and Chinese Food place here in town.

Told you I need a vacation!

You Are 66% Burned Out

You are very burned out. You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible. And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life. Because you're working hard and going no where... and that would burn anyone out!

Are You Burned Out?

You might as well just hand over the trophy to the girls this year

American Idol has gone to the girls this year. There were 3 really good performances tonight, and they were all girls. Of course, Melinda was my fav. She can just do no wrong. But Lakeisha and Jordin were also so damned good. It will be a hard choice to decide who is the best of those 3. Of the guys, the only really good vocalists are Chris S (even tho his song sucked ass tonight) and Phil (who was horrible last week but good this week). I have to give it to Blake tho. He is a good performer, but his vocals aren't nearly as strong as the others.

But I am telling you. If they keep Sanjaya in this week, I will puke. He was simply horrible........it was like watching a grammar school talent show....but I think the school kids would have done a better job. He just sucks. Sucks with a capital "S."

But the next worst guy has got to be Chris R. ... he sounds like a whiney Backstreet Boy wannabe.

America.........wake up and kick Sanjaya off and save me from having to puke.

I really hate puking.

Although those 3 aforementioned performances were great, there was one spot in the show which was even better. It was when Melinda was asking something about high heels and Ryan Wussycrest told her to ask Simon about it, and Simon said, "why ask me. Ryan show know about that." And then a little banter went on between Scowl and Wussycrest in which Wussycrest asked Scowl if he had been looking in his closet. And then Scowl, as you would expect him to, told Wussycrest to come out of the closet. Hilarious. That little exchange of words made watching Sanjaya's cacadoodey performance worth it.

Hilarious!

Spring ahead people....spring ahead

The weekend is over. It seems like the week drags on, but the weekend just flies by. I think I am ready for a vacation. I have been really cranky lately. Maybe a vacation will reduce my crankiness a bit.

Not only was the weekend too short, daylight savings time also set in, which reduced the weekend by an hour. Now an hour may not seem like a long time, but they should at least do it during the week. Take an hour out of my week, but not out of my weekend!

Not that I did that much this weekend. I did some cleaning and some drawing and some playing around with Photoshop over the weekend. Not much. But I don't get paid til Tuesday so maybe this upcoming weekend I will do something more.

I didn't even get to stay up late this weekend cuz I had a killer headache last nite and the night before and went to bed early. And I have another headache tonite, too

I went to the doctor on Thursday for a checkup. My knee has been feeling a WHOLE lot better since the cortisone shot. But I have been feeling so tired and achey lately. Hopefully the warmer weather will help that out some. I was shocked to find out that my former doctor, Shirley Anderson, passed away last month from breast cancer. I had no idea she was sick. She sure hid it well. she was always so kind and always gave hugs to her patients. She was really a nice lady and will be missed.

This new doctor, however, I am not sure about. She basically told me that it might be rheumatoid arthritis after all. Ugh. I am so sick of all this debate over lupus and RA. One doctor says lupus and this one says RA. I just don't know what to think anymore. I am confused. She had me give some blood for testing and told me to come back in June. All I have to say is.... "whatever!"

A good thing about the whole daylight savings time is that it makes the days lighter longer. which means maybe I will be able to go camping again soon. I am dying to go to Bryce Canyon or to Zion National Park. Or maybe up to the Bay Area to check out Muir Woods.

MMM candy

You scored as Jolly Ranchers. You are Jolly Ranchers. You are outgoing and strive for perfection-you never give up until the job is completed. You like to take relationships slowly and can have a hard time expressing yourself. Your sweet side eventually shines through! Jolly Ranchers 85% Skittles/Gummi Bears 75% Twix 70% Reese's Peanut Butter Cup 70% Hershey Bar 60% KitKat/Crunch Bar 60% 3 Musketeers 55% M&M\'s 40% *What Type of Candy Are You?* (w/pics.) created with QuizFarm.com

Sometimes I think I watch American Idol just so I have something to complain about

What is wrong with people's ears??? They kicked off Sundance and Jared and left that whiny-ass-can't-sing-a-note-in-tune Sanjaya. I don't believe it. Well, actually I do.

At least they ditched Antonella. But they chose Haley over Sabrina??? I just don't get it. Sure, Sabrina wasn't that great this last time, but c'mon. Haley is just not good!

But this whole Sanjaya thing just baffles me. Why do people like him? He looks like a darker version of Andy Gibb and sounds like a whinier version of Michael Jackson.

If he wins this thing, I will never watch the show again.

In American Idol, it's a girl's game

All I have to say about American Idol tonight is that Melinda is da bomb. That girl can saaaannnng. Unlike the guys, the girls' group is a competitive bunch. Except for Blake and Chris S, I think any of the other guys could (and should) be cut. Especially Sanjaya. He and his 60's style hair should be booted right on out of there. With the girls, it's a little tougher. With the exception of Antonella and Haley, who are the worst of the bunch, all of the girls gave pretty solid performances. Except for Melinda....she was the best....far and above the best.

For the guys, Sanjaya and Brandon should go bye-bye.

For the girls, Antonella and Haley should be booted.

But being that the vote is up to the "American people," I wouldn't be surprised if those tone-deaf dumbasses get to stay.

Speaking of being P.C...

Only at fashion and red-carpet events is it acceptable to utter the phrase..."There was a lot of Wang out there," or "There was Wang everywhere."

And only at a dog show is it acceptable to say the phrase..."That is one beautiful bitch."

Blah blah blah

I am, once again, disappointed with the guys on American Idol this season. The only good ones were Blake and Chris S. Sundance and Chris R were ok (I didn't care for Chris R's performance although the judges liked it - he seemed all out of tune). Sanjaya was horrible again (as usual). Brandon was ok and so was Jarod. I truly hope Sanjaya goes home. He totally wrecked John Mayer's song. John Mayer is probably puking right about now.

Overall, it was a lousy night for the guys........again. And that's all I have to say about it.

Mmmmm cake

You Are Strawberry Cake

Fresh, sassy, and romantic. You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat. Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

What accent?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
Boston
North Central
The Northeast
The South
Philadelphia
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Flowers, flowers everywhere

I planted flowers out on my patio this weekend. I don't know what was worse. The waiting in line at Wal Mart with my hands full cuz there weren't any carts to be found, or lugging the 3 bags of potting soil and many containers of flowers (which the Wal Mart lady didn't give me any bags to put them in) upstairs to my apartment, or the trip to the Dollar Tree where the checkout lady gave me attitude cuz I was buying some glass and ceramic containers and, lord have mercy, she had to wrap them up in paper. Look lady, you work at a place that sells breakable stuff. It is your job to wrap them up and not say "oh shit" and give me a lousy attitude when you look in my basket and see glass stuff (yes, she said "oh shit" to me - beeeeyach!). Anyway, I got them all planted and my patio looks all purty....for now. Until the Bakersfield summer heat comes and probably fries them all. At least they will look purty for a few months at least.

I watched "The Departed" earlier today, and I can see why it won the Oscar. It was a hella good movie. Hella good. I also watched "Stranger Than Fiction" and "Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny" yesterday. Both of those were also good. "Tenacious D" was hilarious, and "Stranger Than Fiction" was also funny, but touching and sweet. I really enjoyed watching it.

I had a hell of a time with my computer earlier. Ugh. I hate when it crashes. I had to turn it off and restart it like 10 times to get it working again. Freakin' A. Give me a break, computer.

Speaking of computers.....my work computer hates me. First, 2 weeks ago, I was doing a manual retroactive budget on the computer and, bam, the power goes out. I lost what I was working on. And then when the power came back on (an hour later), I couldn't get back in to do it over. I had to wait til the following day to get back into my forms drive. Ugh. Then, last week, I went out to lunch and when I came back, my monitor had died. After trying to tighten the cords and restarting the computer about 3 times, I gave in and called the help desk. They came, looked at it, and then took the whole monitor away, and brought it back about an hour later. Now it works. Hopefully, it won't die again.

Speaking of work, I hate Sundays. I really do. At least we have Friday off this week. God, the weekends are way too short.

I have no comment....

...other than American Idol voters suck! Sure they got it right when they voted off Alaina and Nick, but they left that horrible Sanjaya and the out-of-tune Antonella in. What the hell is wrong with people? Can't they hear??

I'm done. I have nothing left to say about that.

I am tired, so this is gonna be quick

American Idol......I have one word for you.......Melinda. She was amazing. She should win the whole competition.

Gina, Lakeisha, Jordin, Stephanie and Sabrina were also good. Leslie was ok.

Who sucked? Alaina, Antonella and Haley.

Who should go home? Alaina and Antonella.

Who the voters will pick to go home? Alaina and Haley.

Those are my predictions. And I am sticking to them.

I didn't even get to watch "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" cuz I fell asleep. But after watching it last night, I already know the answer to that one.

And it is a resounding "no."

That's all I have for tonight. I am beat. I am off to bed.

A better Idol than last week

The guys pulled themselves out of the gutter that was last week's American Idol. They were much better this week than last week...much better. After watching the guys last week, I was ready to just up and give up on AI this season.The first guy, Phil, did a good rendition of "Missing You," which was good, cuz had he sucked, I probably would have changed the channel. AJ, Chris S, Blake and Sundance were good. I think Sundance and Chris S had the best performances of the night. As Randy says, they "brought down the house." Chris S, despite looking a lot like Jack Osbourne, has a really good voice. And Sundance finally showed everyone why he was chosen in the first place.

There were some yawners and one downright horrible performance tonite though. Nick Pedro was just ok. Nothing special. Just ok. And Brandon, although I love his voice...."Time After Time" just wasn't working for him. It was ....yawn...boring. Jared was ok. Not bad...not great. And Chris R, who everyone was so gung-ho for (even Simon said he was good), I thought was not that great. Sure he picked a difficult song, but I thought he was off key and flat throughout the entire song. But Sunjaya....oh good lord. He was horrible. Just terrible. He needs to go home.

If I had to call it, Sunjaya and Nick should go. But since the girls probably think Nick is just like "so cute," he will probably stay and Brandon will go. But it was he who picked that boring song to sing.

After AI was over, I sat and watched "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" , and let me tell you something. I have never felt more stupid in my life than I did when I was watching that show. After not knowing the 1st question....what month do we celebrate Columbus Day in (I guessed November and it was October)...and not having the slightest clue who was the 1st president to be impeached (it was Andrew Johnson, and I thought it was Richard Nixon - LOL ...all the kids got the right answer, of course), I felt like a total idiot. But, I did get all of the other answers right, including the math one, which surprised me as I probably operate at a 1st grade level at math. And being as lousy at math as I am, answering a 3rd grade math question right was like winning an Olympic gold medal to me. After watching that show, I was left wondering just how I made it through school.

Craft Time

I made these two pictures for my best friend for her birthday. She just had a baby girl, so I thought they would look cute in the baby's room.

I bought 2 frames at Marshalls...they were pretty beaten up so they were on clearance... some frabric and ribbon at one of our local fabric stores, and used a glue gun and the fabric to fashion the "curtains", to give the illusion of a "window." Then I created two pictures (consisting of 4 3 1/2" x 3 1/2" pieces) on Photoshop, using some actions by Atomic Cupcake. The theme I used was "Little Bo Peep." I wanted a nursery rhyme for the pictures...one I thought I could create on Photoshop. The sheep were easy. So was the tree, hill, fence, sky, clouds....everything but Little Bo Peep herself - lol. She was a bit of a challenge. But I think, overall, it came out really cute.

And The Oscar Goes To.....

Well, the Oscars just finished up. No big surprises in the best actor or actress category (Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker won). But I was surprised....pleasantly surprised, that Alan Arkin won for best supporting actor for his role in Little Miss Sunshine. I love Alan Arkin. He was just spot-on as the cranky grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine. Kudos to him! I was hoping that Ryan Gosling or Peter O'Toole would have won for best actor, but oh well. Ryan Gosling was outstanding in Half Nelson, which was a great movie too by the way. One of the best I have seen this year. I was also hoping Little Miss Sunshine would have won for best picture. I haven't seen The Departed (I just bought it last week), but I knew it and Babel (which I also haven't seen but also own in my video library) were the heavy favorites, and I am always rooting for the underdog. I loved Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious, yet had its touching moments. And I absolutely loved the ending ... that dance has me laughing so hard I thought I would rupture something. I also loved how it made fun of beauty pageants for kids...did you see the way they were made up to look like adults??? Gross!!! Anyway, I was rooting for it to win. But it did win 2 awards...for best supporting actor and for best original screenplay.Woo hoo! I was also happy that Martin Scorcese won for best director. It is about time!! Of course, I love Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven is probably my 3rd favorite film of all time), but he already has some Oscars. Kudos to Scorcese. It is about friggin' time he won.

I was also surprised by The Oscars themselves. Ellen did a pretty good job of hosting....and I loved the song that Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C O'Reilly did. Hilarious! And those shadow dancers. How the hell did they do that???

But I sure got sick and tired of seeing damned Al Bore...Gore. Maybe I am still just annoyed by his wife's past stance on censorship and all. He tried to be funny, but it just fell flat. I just can't look at him without thinking of him in that South Park episode. I wanted him to shout out, "Manbearpig is dead!" Now THAT would have been funny!

Speaking of South Park, new episodes begin in 2 weeks. Sweet!

And my friend Arlene has complained about how I still have hearts on my AIM icon and on my Myspace blog and all, but don't expect me to be changing my template just for you. It is still February....and whatevah...it is my blog, I can do what I want!

Remember Wooly Willy?

Well here is my version of Wooly Britney (now I just need to find a way to make it so you can actually draw on it - lol)

Now that Britney Spears is bald...

Here are some new hairdo's I think would look "interesting" on her...



Carrot Top Spears


That crazy-dessed woman from the Grammy's


Britney meets Don King


Britney Trump


Britney Washington (in honor, or dishonor, of President's Day)


The new Britney Spears troll doll


Mrs Brit Miser (She's too much)


The Britney Hawk


Britbacca


Well, they all look better than this!



Britney, you are nuts!

(Photoshop is so much fun - hehe)

Happy Valentine's Day

Like my cute lil Valentine pup I made on Photoshop? hehe

Email woes

I hate Yahoo. I want to destroy it. My email account is f 'ed up right now, so if anyone has emailed me lately and I haven't responded, it is not because I am ignoring you (I know Arlene is thinking that I am, but I'm not, you goober), it is because I cannot get my emails. I know they are there, but I can't SEE them in my inbox. I have written to Yahoo's customer support, but have yet to get a response. So if you want to email me, for now, use my other email account.

I HATE YAHOO!


- and oh yeah... I updated my blog so that it is not Christmassy anymore. Are you happy Arlene????

Because I have a sentimental side, too

Love is......

1) A big bag of Cappuccino Jelly Belly jelly beans
2) Fresh cut Gerbera daisies
3) A phone call....just because
4) A homemade greeting card
5) Teddy bears!
6) An all day South Park marathon
7) A warm sunset
8) Cumfy PJ's
9) Dewar's Caramel Chews - mmmmmmmm
10) A smile

I got your phallus right here

Just when I thought I had heard the lamest new story ever (see previous blog post on the Boston "bomb scare"), I hear something even lamer.

Well, now some "sharp-eyed" critics are saying that Prince's half-time show was, how shall I put this.....phallically tainted.

(is phallically even a word? If not, it should be)

Well this whole thing came about because of this image:



It seems some dumbasses say that the way Prince held his guitar makes it look like he is holding a giant penis. Ummmm....since when do penises have sharp pointy ends and have skinny "j" shaped balls???? Someone needs to go back to sex-education. Or just go on the internet and do a search for "penis." I am almost positive you will find something that way.

Now, I am not a Prince fan. I didn't even watch the Super Bowl (gasp!). But this is just so idiotic that I had to blog about it.

People are just super-sensitive or are so bored that they have to invent things to complain about. Next thing you know, someone will say that they can't pledge their allegiance to the flag because the flagpole looks like a giant penis. Or they can't eat oranges cuz they look like the boobs (or maybe like the boobs of an Oompa Loompa). Or the reason they can't go grocery shopping is because everything in the fruits and veggies section looks like boobs, penises, balls or vaginas. Good lord people! Are you such sexual deviants that EVERYTHING you look at reminds you of sex???

Well, I admit that I think like that, but that is beside the point.

Besides, you don't hear me complaining about Prince's guitar now, do you?

I am gonna write someone and complain about Rosie O'Donnell. She reminds me of an asshole.

And add Kevin Federline to that letter. He is a dick. Get rid of those people. Just stop them! They are causing irreparable harm to my psyche. (that sounded pretty sophisticated, huh)

When you get down to it, perception is all in the eye of the beholder. If you see a mountain out in the distance, you might see it as a mountain, while someone else will see it as a hill. And then the perverts will see boobs or an ass. Some crazy person may tell you it is a giant orangutan holding a banana.

We shouldn't be worried about Prince and his guitar. We should be worried about all these perverts out there who looked at a guitar and saw a penis.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I am glad I stayed awake this time...

I just watched The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central. (I missed it last week cuz lazy ass me fell asleep!)....damned funny show. Laughed my sleepy ass off. Finally, another tv show worth watching. Just thought I would pass that on before I crash.

Me so sleepy.

It's a mad, Mooninite world

Ok. This has got to be the official lamest news story in the whole entire universe of stupid news stories. And being that some of those news stories have involved Britney Spears, that is saying a lot!

(And yes Jeff, I know you already blogged about this, but it is my turn now.)

Turner Broadcasting agrees to pay $2 million
By Mac Daniel, Globe Staff

Attorney General Martha Coakley announced this morning that Turner Broadcasting System will pay $2 million in restitution and other compensation for last week's bomb scares that paralyzed parts of the Boston region.

(there was more to this story, but I don't want to post it. It is just too stupid.")

Anyway, it seems some people posted some signs that look like this



around Boston, as an ad campaign for Cartoon Network's coolest show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (hey, it is the coolest show - Frylock rocks!)

Well, some stupid assholes around town reported the signs as "suspicious devices" to the police, who sent out bomb squads to check them out. What started out as an ad campaign, ended up as mass paranoia, as the police shut down subways, closed freeways, etc.

Now, these signs were posted around in 10 other cities some 2-3 weeks before this incident in Boston, but did you hear anything on the news about it? No. Because they did not perceive them as a threat, or were "obviously not suspicious."

Granted in a post 9-11 America, people are overly cautious, but hell, it looked like a lite-brite! And it was a Mooninite not Osama Bin Laden.

It is just so idiotic that people actually thought that a lite-brite-like sign was a bomb. And even more idiotic was the police response to the "threat." At least take a look at one of them before you declare it a bomb threat and create mass hysteria.

If people can look at a sign like that and think it is a threat (I assume they thought the fact that the Mooninite was giving us the finger...something he always does at the beginning of the tv show ... is a threat), I wonder what will be next.

"Oh look at this milk carton I found on the sidewalk. I better report it. There is a picture of missing kids on the carton. Must mean that there is going to be a mass kidnapping" Better get the police!!!!!!!!"

People, just stop it!

on a completely unrelated note, here is a funny quote I saw on Doug Benson's blog (don't worry - he is a comedian, not a terrorist)

"HANNIBAL RISING

That's what Anthony Hopkins yells whenever he takes a Viagra."

That Doug Benson is one funny dude.

Oh, and on another completely unrelated note, I watched The Squid and The Whale this weekend. That was one awesomely-great movie. I highly recommend watching it. It was probably the best movie I had seen in a long, long, long time.

Yosemite - January 2007

I finally updated my travel blog with pics of my last trip to Yosemite. You can read all about it and see the pics by clicking HERE .

Phobia of The Day

Helminthophobia: fear of being infested with worms

Random Fact of The Day

The Giant South African Earthworm can grow up to 22 feet long and 1 inch thick.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

You Know You're In A Small Town When:

- The restaurant closes at lunch so the waitress can go home and eat.

- The mayor's nickname is 'Greasy Dick' and besides appearing on the ballot, it also appears on his driver's license.

- The fashion boutique/post office is located in one corner of the hardware store between the used milking machines and the pay toilet.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oh the things people will do to look fabulous.)

Getting fabulous hair takes a bit of bull ... semen

LONDON (Reuters) - An upmarket London beauty salon says it can give your hair the ultimate shine by treating it with a mixture that includes semen from thoroughbred bulls.

Hari's in ritzy Chelsea offers a 45-minute "Aberdeen Organic Hair" treatment that involves massaging a protein-rich mixture of bull semen and a plant root into the client's hair, a spokeswoman told Reuters on Friday.

Owner Hari Salem told media that he tried hundreds of products -- including wild avocados and truffle oil -- before hitting on bull semen as the elusive element in a formula for making hair look gorgeous.

"The semen is refrigerated before use and doesn't smell," Salem told the Metro newspaper. "It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick."

He said the treatment will remain on offer providing the bulls can keep up the supply.

Caption This!

There it goes. There goes the last of my dignity.

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Woof woof

You Were a Dog

You are an excellent companion and a loyal friend. A good protector, you smell trouble before it arrives.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

More things that annoy me

1) McDonald's - I went to McDonald's tonight after work to get me some dinner, cuz, well, I avoid having to cook as much as possible, and they gave me no ketchup. In fact, the last 3 times I have gone to Mickey D's, they have given me no ketchup. What is there? Some worldwide ketchup packet shortage? They never give you ketchup (at least in this town), and when you ask for it, they look at you like you just asked them for their kidney.

2) Horror movie trailers that make the movie look scarier than it actually is

3) The undead - they move too slowly, they look just awful and, well, they are undead. Some of them work in my building.

4) People who try to multi-task while they drive - Wherever you are going, you can do your makeup when you get there. No one is going to say "Damn. She went out without any eyeliner," when you are being hauled into the hospital on a stretcher because your muti-tasking ass was too busy looking at your eyes rather than watching where the hell you were driving.

5) Technology - It moves too fast. They just unleashed Windows Vista today. By tomorrow, it will be obsolete.

6) Rosie O'Donnell - I don't think I need to explain this one. I mean, she's Rosie. She's annoying! She never shuts up.

7) Polka music - it makes me want to dance. And no one needs to see that.

8) American Idol contestants whose excuses for why they sucked so bad is because they were "nervous." All nervousness aside, you still suck!

9) People who tell you they are going to do something, then flake out on you.

10) Mor Furniture commercials. Damn Forbes Riley! Damn her! (you have to live around here to get this one)

Phobia of The Day

Iatrophobia: fear of doctors or of going to the doctor

Random Fact of The Day

Dueling is legal in Paraguay, as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. "

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Two wrongs don't make a right.)

Delayed convict steals car to get back to jail

DUBLIN, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) - An Irish convict who stole a car to get back to prison after missing a weekend release deadline has been given a six month suspended jail sentence.

Trevor Doyle, 25, grabbed the vehicle after falling asleep on a bus and overshooting his stop near Shelton Abbey open prison in Arklow on Ireland's southeast coast, Wexford district court officials said Thursday.

The court, which would not reveal the man's prior conviction, also fined him 300 euros ($390) for failing to submit to a breathalyzer test.

Bork bork bork!

You Are the Swedish Chef

"Bork! Bork! Bork!" Your happy and energetic - with borderline manic tendencies. No one really gets you. And frankly, you don't even get you. But, you sure can whip up a great chocolate mousse

The Muppet Personality Test

Questions to ponder

Why do they call it "common sense?" There's no such thing as common sense. If it was so common, more people would have it.

And why do they call it "nonsense" when EVERYONE has that.

Common sense should tell you that nonsense makes more sense.

Did that make any sense?

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?"

Phobia of The Day

Urophobia: fear of urine or of urinating

Random Fact of The Day

The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means 'to exercise naked.'

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Leave science to the hyenas.)

Scientists can't get sloth to move

JENA, Germany - Scientists in the eastern German city of Jena said Wednesday they have finally given up after three years of failed attempts to entice a sloth into budging as part of an experiment in animal movement.

The sloth, named Mats, was remanded to a zoo after consistently refusing to climb up and then back down a pole, as part of an experiment conducted by scientists at the University of Jena's Institute of Systematic Zoology and Evolutionary Biology.

Neither pounds of cucumbers nor plates of homemade spaghetti were appetizing enough to make Mats move.

"Mats obviously wanted absolutely nothing to do with furthering science," said Axel Burchardt, a university spokesman.

Mats' new home is the zoo in the northwestern city of Duisburg where, according to all reports, he is very comfortable.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Most vitamin pills don't have names or trademarks on them; they're just plain-looking unmarked pills. And if you're traveling with a lot of vitamins, and in order to save space you've put them all in one big jar, you have no way of proving what they are. If, for instance, the police should search your suitcase, all they're going to know is that you have a big jar of unmarked pills. And should they be in the mood to break your balls, they can hold you for twenty-four hours while they 'send these little things down to the lab and see what we've got here.' And you wind up in jail overnight for no reason at all.

That's why I always travel with Flintstone vitamins. Not only do Flintstone vitamins contain all the vital nutrients kids need each day, they also keep grownups out of jail."

Phobia of The Day

Oikophobia: Fear of home surroundings, house

Random Fact of The Day

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado!

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Polly wanna cracker?)

Man arrested for smuggling 500 parrots in a car

ALMATY (Reuters) - Kazakh border guards arrested a man trying to smuggle 500 parrots in his car from neighbouring Uzbekistan, media reported on Tuesday.

"Border guards discovered a live cargo of 500 parrots in his car," Kazakhstan Today news agency quoted a KNB security service official as saying.

It was unclear how the parrots fitted into the Kazakh man's Audi. Trade in wild parrots is banned around the world, according to the U.N. Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora.

Caption This!

Damn! Why didn't someone tell me that my butt was this big?

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast-food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests."

Phobia of The Day

Merinthophobia: fear of being bound or tied up

Random Fact of The Day

People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(We love you long time.)

Amsterdam to get statue to honor prostitutes

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Amsterdam's red-light district will soon get a new attraction: a statue to honor prostitutes around the world.

The statue, designed by artist Els Rijerse, will likely be unveiled at the end of March, Dutch news agency ANP reported.

"In many countries, prostitutes struggle and people have no respect for them whatsoever. The statue is meant to give all those men and women strength," Mariska Majoor, a former prostitute who commissioned the statue, told ANP.

ANP said the statue, made of bronze, shows a woman who confidently looks out into the world.

Gripes, pet peeves and just plain bitchiness

~ Always make sure you have a good pair of socks on when you go out in the morning. If you don't, it will ruin your day. I spent a good part of my day today just pulling up my socks. Remind me to not wear those socks to work ever again.

~ There's a commercial on tv that says the odds of you being in a movie star car accident are one in eight million, but the odds of you being in an accident are one in eight. Well, I think the odds of you being in an accident involving someone that works in my building are at least one in three. People that work at the OC are some of the shittiest drivers around. I swear, every day when I drive to work there is some asshole driver who cuts right in front of me 20 feet before the entrance to the parking lot. Yeah, asshole. I know where you work. And yes, I DID flip you off. Don't look so shocked. You know what you did

~ I have no problem flipping people off .... even people that I know. If you are my friend and you cut me off or tailgate me so close that I can smell your perfume or cologne, expect to see the bird come out of the cage. I don't care if you are my friend. If you drive all asshole-ish like the rest of those f*ckers out there, then you are just as bad as they are, and therefore, deserve to be flipped off and cussed at. And if you really were my friend, you wouldn't cut me off in the first place - hehe

~ I said it once, and I am gonna say it again. When you are waiting for the elevator and it stops and the doors open up, don't just ram your way into the elevator before making sure there aren't people that might want to get out. You know the doors don't shut the moment you are inside the thing. Relax, people. And for pete's sake, let me out of this damned elevator!!!

~ Don't talk to me when I am typing case comments or when I am trying to add numbers in my head. Because if you start talking about how cute monkeys are and how you wish you had one for a pet, I will end up putting that shit in my case comments without even knowing it, and when I turn the case in and the supervisor reads my case comments, she will think I have (pardon the pun) gone bananas. Of course, I will blame you.

~ Please, please, for the love of all that is holy and good, DO NOT talk about how you spent all last weekend puking and how the puke was this nasty shade of green and had chunks of potatoes and carrots in it, when I am eating lunch, or dinner, or breakfast, or right before or right after I have eaten. In fact, don't talk to me about it at all. I also don't want to know about how you spent all night on the toilet with the runs, or about your last bladder infection, or about how mush pus came out when you popped your zit. EWWW. There are certain things people should keep to themselves.

~ When you are a passenger in my car, keep your hands off of my radio. My car...my music. I don't care if you are a devout Catholic who only listens to Christian music. You are gonna be listening to some Black Sabbath. Rock on!

~ Don't tell me I am gonna go to hell for listening to rock music or for posting something like this on my blog...




It is not your job to "save" me. Besides, I already know I am going to hell. The nuns at my old school told me that when I was in 3rd grade.

~ You are not allowed to watch The View or Oprah or any Steven Seagal movies at my house. You can go to your own house and watch that crap all you want. My tv will explode if it is forced to play that shit.

~ Monty Python rules!! If you disagree, well then, you suck.

-------- to be continued - hehe

Dialing for foam

I heard if you call 1-800-322-7943 and request info on the Tempur-Pedic mattress, they will send you a sample of their Tempur-Pedic mattress foam. I figure if enough people call for me and send me their samples, then I will have enough foam to make my own mattress....or at least a pillow. So get to dialing, people!!!

I See Dumb People

If only someone would pack up Oprah, Rosie O'Donnell, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Steven Seagal and shoot them into space so this world would be rid of these dumbasses. Come on. Someone must have a spare rocket launcher lying around.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

Things I'm Tired Of

"I've grown weary of reading about clouds in a book. Doesn't this piss you off? You're reading a nice story, and suddenly the writer has to stop and describe the clouds. Who cares? I'll bet you anything I can write a decent novel, with a good, entertaining story, and never once mention the clouds."

Phobia of The Day

Peladophobia: fear of bald people

Random Fact of The Day

A snail can sleep for three years.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(They're homeless. How the heck are they gonna come up with that kind of money?)

Owner of ritzy NY shop sues homeless By Matthew Verrinder

NEW YORK (Reuters) - It's a case of Madison Avenue versus Penniless Lane. A Manhattan antique shop owner's lawsuit against transients who camp in front of his store is generating debate about what to do with New York's homeless, many of whom spend winter nights on the street.

Karl Kemp, owner of the posh Karl Kemp & Associates Antiques, Ltd. on Madison Avenue, sued three men and a woman for $1 million (506,807 pounds) earlier this month, alleging they scare away customers when they drink alcohol, urinate and warm themselves above a heating duct in front of his shop.

Kemp's suit, filed in state Supreme Court, also seeks an order to keep them 100 feet (30 metres) away.

Some New York homeless advocates are upset, saying Kemp was too quick to sue poor vagrants instead of trying to help them through social services.

Nearly 35,000 people spent Wednesday night in New York City homeless shelters. About 3,800 shunned shelters and slept outside in 2006, according to city data.

"(Kemp) could have called any number of homeless service organisations that reach out to people on the street," said Shelly Nortz, deputy executive director for policy for the Coalition for the Homeless. "Suing them for $1 million is just wrong."

Michael Zen, a lawyer for Kemp, said that since 2004 the shop owner contacted police, who came and shooed the transients away, and the manager of the building, requesting the hot air flowing out of the heating duct be rerouted.

"Filing the suit wasn't our first instinct," Zen said. "Mr. Kemp's business has been interfered with. We want these people to move on. Unfortunately, it has come to this."

The New York Post backed Kemp, writing in an editorial on Friday, "We're no fans of frivolous lawsuits. But kudos to Kemp."

Dace Kins, who was visiting the posh Upper East Side shopping area from Chicago on Thursday, called the issue "a sad situation on both sides."

"It would be wonderful if the city could do something for them so they wouldn't have to be out in this freezing weather," Kins said.

People who worked in nearby stores were less sympathetic, saying that one of the men can usually be found on the grate cursing at passersby.

"He says a lot of things to people," said doorman Shakeem Hodge. "To me he says, 'Burn in hell.'"

(Additional reporting by Bob Mezan)