A fool and her money are soon parted

I have been noticing lately that I go broke almost as soon as I am paid. And talking to a lot of my women friends, I hear them saying the same thing. True, there are a lot of sales geared towards us women...I have even heard one of my male coworkers complain that there are not enough sales for men, but we still end up spending a ton of money on stuff we need. I am convinced that we women end up having to spend a lot more money on stuff than men do. This is an observation which I have thought about extensively, and while I have no real proof or documentation to back it up, I am almost certain of its validity.

For instance, let's start with clothing. We women have to not only buy everyday things like pants and skirts and shirts, but we also have to buy pantyhose and bras. Men don't have to worry about buying bras (even tho some men obviously NEED them) or pantyhose, unless they are a drag queen or like dressing up in women's clothing, but that is a whole 'nuther story. And besides, they have the option of buying those. We women don't. It is usually mandatory that we wear pantyhose to work when we wear dresses or skirts, and it is always mandatory that we wear bras to work. And bras are not cheap! Some women may be able to shop off the rack at Wal Mart, but some of us who are, let's say, a little more "well-endowed" can't find bras that fit in just any old store, so we must resort to the upper ended stores like Fredericks or Lane Bryant for our bras, and you know you won't be able to find a bra there for less than $20. Plus, we have a lot more clothing options than men do, which every woman knows, every option must be represented in her wardrobe. I am not even gonna go into shoes! Sandals, high heels, loafers, clogs...the list would go on and on. Men have athletic shoes, dress shoes, casuals, and a few sandals, but nothing like the selection that women have. And, yes, every type of shoe must be represented in the woman's closet. I know. I have tons of shoes. You can't wear a pair of track shoes with a dress after all.

Next, there is the hair and makeup category. I went to Target the other day and they had like 5 or 6 aisles devoted just to makeup and about 2 or 3 more for hair products. Now the makeup aisles are geared toward women (maybe men like to wear it, too...who knows). We women love makeup. We do! All those colors to choose from. The possibilities are endless! I love the makeup aisles. There must be some subliminal advertising going on there, cuz I can't resist at least browsing the makeup section in every store I go to. There are eye shadows, blushes, foundations, mascaras, nail polish (oh my gosh, so many nail polishes!), eye liners, etc. Then there are all the other necessities like tweezers, eyelash curlers, nail files, pumice stones, etc. All this stuff to make us purty. There are some hair products for men, but, for the most part, they are also geared toward women. You don't see many men wearing cute hair clips and bows, after all.

Next, we have the toiletries...yeah, the down and dirty part of being a woman. Now, men don't have to buy tampons, maxi pads or pany liners, douche or any of those "good things" unless they are buying them for their wife or girlfriend. No matter what the doctor does to a man to make him a woman, he will never "get" to bleed out of his vagina for 5 days each month (just be thankful you don't - it is not fun!). At anywhere from $3 to $8 a box, tampons and the like can get darned expensive over the long run. Now it is not just "female products" than we women have to buy more of, it is also toilet paper. Men only have to wipe their butts with toilet paper when they ...well, you know (I am not gonna get all graphic or anything), since they can pee standing up. I have never known of any men wiping their penis with toilet paper after they peed. We women, unfortunately, have to pee sitting down (less we make a total mess on the floor and down our legs- gross), so we use twice as much toilet paper as a man.

And then, of course, we have everything else. All these stores have home decorating sections, and you know those sections are mostly frequented by, you guessed it, women. You don't often see a man in the aisle debating over whether to buy the hand-crocheted doilies or the satin placemats, but I guess it happens from time to time. Candles are another area where they get us. We MUST have candles. They all smell so good. It is almost cruel to walk into stores sometimes.

Of course, men have their "things". Like electronics and cars and other big "toys." And while these things may cost a whole lot more than some makeup and tampons, I don't feel sorry for the men at all. It's not like a remote control is gonna get a run in it the first time you use it or anything. And besides, you can take a remote control back if it doesn't work, and you can always buy more batteries. You can't take a pair of nylons back after you get a run in them. God I hate nylons!

So the next time I hear a man complaining that there are not enough sales for men, I am gonna hand him a pair of high heel shoes and make him walk in them for a few minutes, cuz that will be all it takes to get his feet hurting. I think stores having sales for us women is payback for all the crap we have to wear, and for having to pluck our eyebrows, shave our armpits and wax our bikini lines...can you say "ouch?"