Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Blast From The Past

Here's a little tune that some of you may remember, albeit an annoyingly catchy one. I am sure it will get stuck in some people's heads...as it does in mine from time to time.




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Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

In the morning laughing happy fish heads
In the evening floating in the soup

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

Ask a fish head anything you want to
They won't answer they can't talk

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

I took a fish head out to see a movie
Didn't have to pay to get it in

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

They can't play baseball they don't wear sweaters
They're not good dancers they don't play drums

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum

Roly poly fish heads are never seen drinking cappuccino
In Italian restaurants with oriental women yeah

Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum




weird song, isn't it - I think it was done by a group called Barnes & Barnes or something back in the '80's.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(A laptop. A laptop. I'd sacrifice my dignity for a laptop!)


Va. Laptop Sale Turns Into a Stampede



RICHMOND, Va. - A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday, with people getting thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and nearly driven over. One woman went so far as to wet herself rather than surrender her place in line.

"This is total, total chaos," said Latoya Jones, 19, who lost one of her flip-flops in the ordeal and later limped around on the sizzling blacktop with one foot bare.

An estimated 5,500 people turned out at the Richmond International Raceway in hopes of getting their hands on one of the 4-year-old Apple iBooks. The Henrico County school system was selling 1,000 of the computers to county residents. New iBooks cost between $999 and $1,299.

Officials opened the gates at 7 a.m., but some already had been waiting since 1:30 a.m. When the gates opened, it became a terrifying mob scene.

People threw themselves forward, screaming and pushing each other. A little girl's stroller was crushed in the stampede. Witnesses said an elderly man was thrown to the pavement, and someone in a car tried to drive his way through the crowd.

Seventeen people suffered minor injuries, with four requiring hospital treatment, Henrico County Battalion Chief Steve Wood said. There were no arrests and the iBooks sold out by 1 p.m.

"It's rather strange that we would have such a tremendous response for the purchase of a laptop computer — and laptop computers that probably have less-than- desirable attributes," said Paul Proto, director of general services for Henrico County. "But I think that people tend to get caught up in the excitement of the event — it almost has an entertainment value."

Blandine Alexander, 33, said one woman standing in front of her was so desperate to retain her place in line that she urinated on herself.

"I've never been in something like that before, and I never again will," said Alexander, who brought her 14-year-old twin boys to the complex at 4:30 a.m. to wait in line. "No matter what the kids want, I already told them I'm not doing that again."

Jesse Sandler said he was one of the people pushing forward, using a folding chair he had brought with him to beat back people who tried to cut in front of him.

"I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam,'" the 20-year-old said nonchalantly, his eyes glued to the screen of his new iBook, as he tapped away on the keyboard at a testing station.

"They were getting in front of me and I was there a lot earlier than them, so I thought that it was just," he said.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Last Thoughts For Tonight

Here it is, coming to the end of August, and we are finally getting a break from the triple-digit temperatures that have plagued us for the last few weeks. AMEN! BUT...and there is always a BUT... it is supposed to get back up to the triple digits by the weekend. Figures! Oh well. You can't always have everything you want.

The weekends always pass by so fast, and the work week always seems to drag on. It is only Tuesday, and I feel like it should be at least Thursday. I guess that's wishful thinking for you. At least it is Hump Day tomorrow. Of course, I have to work on Friday, which is just going to make the week seem even longer. Plus, I have a lot to do on Friday after work....go to AAA and renew my membership and pay my car registration... go to the radiologist for an x-ray... go grocery shopping (ugh!)... and maybe get my tire fixed (it has a slow leak). Oh yeah, I also need a new windshield wiper refill and a new signal light for my car, since my front left turn signal is not working. Damn...there goes my Friday.

I have been so tired lately. It must be the heat. My doctor's appointment went pretty well last week. All systems go. My white blood cell count was a little low and so was my iron level, but the doctor says that is kinda normal for people taking Plaquenil and who have arthritis. I am not worried about that. Of course, the lower iron levels are probably contributing to my fatigue, but what can you do? Liver and kidney tests were A.O.K, as was my blood sugar. The inflammation level was up...to 54 this time, but the day I went to the doctor I was in the middle of a pretty mean flare-up, so I expected that. The doctor ordered me to get a chest x-ray, so I will have to go on Friday after work for that. It is a standard test she said. Nothing to be worried about. I also have the trip to the opthamologist on the 24th to look foward to - haha. I hate having my eyes dilated!

I found out over the weekend why it is so important to let your contact lenses soak in the cleaning solution for the required length of time....because if you don't let them soak long enough for the solution to dilute, putting your lenses in your eyes can be freaking painful!!!!! Yeah...the burning sensation was NOT fun. Let that be a lesson to me.

My SPAM inbox count is now up to 4785.

Gas is freaking expensive! The lowest price in town at the moment is $2.61 a gallon and the highest is $2.99 a gallon (for regular gas - premium is even higher!). It keeps going up and up and up....will it ever go back down again? Please say yes!

And with that thought, I am gonna hit the hay.

Monchhichi, Monchhichi...




For some reason, I now have that old "Monchhichi" song in my head, along with the Heat Miser song. Oh whoa is me. Does anyone remember the Monchhichis? They were these cute little monkey-looking dolls with one of the world's most annoying commercial songs....


Monchhichi, Monchhichi,
Oh so soft and cuddle-ly,
With their thumb in their mouth they're really neat,
Fun to wiggle their little feet.
La la la
La la la
Happy, happy monchhichi.
(I love you Monchhichi!)



I don't know why I have this song in my head. I haven't even thought about these silly dolls in ages.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Good cheese comes from happy cows, and happy cows come from...Russia?)


Stone the cows? Russia uses pot as animal feed



MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia's long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.

Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 tonnes of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

"There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat," a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper.

"I don't know what the milk will be like after this."

Drug use in Russia took off with the decline of the Soviet Union and police have been fighting drug smugglers -- often shipping heroin from Afghanistan -- for years.

Such large hauls are relatively common, although they are normally burnt.

Monday, August 15, 2005

SPAM report!

As of tonight, my Spam inbox count is up to 4548. That is a lot of junk mail!

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New Pictures!

I posted some new pictures of Devil's Postpile and Little Lakes Valley below, as well as details of the area on my other blog. Enjoy!

top of Devil's Postpile National Monument - it looks like a cobblestone street
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Mammoth Lakes, CA
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Chipmunk having a bite to eat at Devil's Postpile National Monument
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Devil's Postpile National Monument - near Mammoth Lakes, CA
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from left to right...Peppermint Peak, Bear Creek Spire and Pip-Squeak Spire - on the Little Lakes Trail near Tom's Place, CA
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View from Little Lakes Trail - that pyramid looking peak is Peppermint Peak - the next 3 peaks, left to right, are Bear Creek Spire, Pip-Squeak Spire, and Mt Dade
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Kim's Law #5

Don't ever assume that just because something seems easy, it actually will be easy.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"One driver you don't want to get behind is any man over seventy wearing a flannel cap with earflaps. In August. Keep your distance!"

Stupid News Story of The Day




(Further proof that the world is full of weirdos)


Police hunt nappy-clad man who pesters women



LONDON (Reuters) - Police said on Monday they were searching for a man wearing just a nappy who approaches women late at night and asks: "Are there any baby changing facilities around here?"

Cleveland police said the latest incident occurred around 11 p.m. on Sunday when he surprised a women walking her dog in a play area in Eaglescliffe, near Middlesbrough.

Police said no one had been assaulted by the man but described his behaviour as bizarre and a cause for concern.

"There have been several reports of him having been seen in Eaglescliffe dressed only in a nappy and we are keen to trace him and speak to him," police said.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Yeah. I bet the mailman thought this was REALLY funny)


La. Police: Barking Man Bites Mail Carrier



HOUMA, La. - A mail carrier got bitten — by a barking man, police said.

Mark D. Plumb, 20, of Butler, Mo., was arrested and charged with simple battery Wednesday after he ran barking from a house and bit the letter carrier on the shoulder, police spokesman Lt. Todd Duplantis said.

Plumb said he bit the carrier as a joke, and has no history of criminal activity or mental illness, police said.

Plumb was released from the Terrebonne Parish jail after posting $165 bond.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"The Golden Gate Bridge should have a bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Keep this guy away from crying babies!)


Man Fires Gun at Car to Silence Alarm



SIMI VALLEY, Calif. - A man annoyed by a noisy car alarm fired at least three bullets into a Toyota Camry, silencing the alarm and bringing out police who hauled him away in handcuffs, authorities said.

David Owen Rye, 48, was arrested and booked for investigation of reckless discharge of a firearm and felony vandalism, Sgt. John Adamczyk said. Rye allegedly told officers he grabbed his handgun and went out to put a stop to the car alarm.

The owner of the Camry, a sailor whose ship the USS Theodore Roosevelt just returned from an eight-month cruise, was visiting a friend when he heard the gunfire at about 10 p.m. Tuesday, KCAL-TV reported.

"I mean, that's not a safe guy. I mean, you get upset over an alarm, over a noise like that, (then) there's some little kids making too much noise and he decides to do something awful," sailor Nicholas Moreno, 25, said.

Police were called to the Yosemite Avenue apartment building and Rye was ordered out of his apartment by an officer with a bullhorn. A Los Angeles Police Department helicopter also responded and Rye was arrested.

Neighbor Ken Davis said he heard gunshots and looked outside to see Rye holding a gun.

"It was little scary," Davis said. "I didn't know what kind of mood he was in. I didn't want to say anything to him."

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

SPAM report

As of tonight, my Spam inbox count is up to 3427. Ay yi yi!

It's just not a good time to be a boy scout right now

The latest in Boy Scout related injuries and deaths happened recently at a Boy Scout camp in New Jersey. An 8-year old girl was killed and 3 others were injured when a tree fell on top of them. Earlier this year, four adult Scout leaders were killed in a July electrical accident in Virginia at the National Boy Scout Jamboree, and five other people have died this summer from drowning and lightning during Scout outings in Wyoming, New Mexico, Utah and California. Nope. This is not a good time to be a Boy Scout.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Isn't it time we stopped wasting valuable land on cemeteries? Talk about an idea whose time has passed: 'Let's put all the dead people in boxes and keep them in one part of town.' I say, plow 'em up and throw them away. Or melt them down. We need that phosphorous for farming. If we're going to recycle, let's get serious."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oops, I did it again!)


German pensioner accidentally runs over wife twice



BERLIN (Reuters) - A 75-year-old German was so shocked he had accidentally run down his wife he started forward and drove over her again, authorities said on Wednesday.

Police in the western town of Bad Nauheim said the man compounded his 73-year-old wife's misery after an onlooker told him he had just run her over while backing out of a parking space. The woman was rushed to hospital and survived.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

SPAM report

By the way, my Spam inbox count is up to 3194 as of tonight.

Another day, another 5 cents

It's Tuesday, but soon to be Wednesday, and that is a good thing. One day closer to the weekend. Since this Friday is our flex day, I get a nice 3-day weekend. That is a reason to smile :) But that may be the only reason to smile. Payday is not until next week, it is still hotter than hell outside (it's still 90 degrees outside at 9 pm and supposed to be 101 tomorrow), my arthritis is acting up big time tonite, and I am dog tired. I am probably just gonna take a shower and lie down til I fall asleep. I think this hot weather is making me tired all of the time. And grumpy! I ordered myself a telescope which I can't wait to get. I so wanna go stargazing! I even printed up a sky map (you can print one up yourself at http://skymaps.com) to aid in my star quest. I used to know where all the constellations were when I was a kid. I would spend countless hours just looking up at the night sky and reading astronomy books. My dad had a college astronomy book that he used when he was in school and I think I read that thing cover to cover when I was a kid. The scope is not supposed to arrive til Thursday though. It will at least arrive in time for the weekend. I am so excited that I feel like a little kid again - lol. I make it sound like I won the lottery or something. I know, it is just a telescope, but I have wanted one since I was a kid. I can't wait to check it out :)

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Somehow, I don't think crime is his thing.)


Man Arrested After Series of Failed Crimes



SOUTH SALT LAKE, Utah - A man with a knife tried unsuccessfully to rob two women, failed at breaking into an apartment, carjacked and crashed a vehicle and failed to get a woman to give him her toddler, authorities said.

Joe Lucero, 30, was taken to a hospital and was expected to remain there for several days for observation before being booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of multiple felonies, South Salt Lake Police Capt. Tracy Tingey said.

The crime spree began about 5:45 a.m. Sunday when a man attempted to rob two women at knife point in the parking lot of a convenience store, Tingey said.

When the women got away without giving him any money, he ran to an apartment complex tried to break into an apartment.

When that failed, the man crossed the street and forced two people out of a Jeep at knife point. He took off in the vehicle but rolled it, suffering cuts and bruises.

He then entered an apartment complex, and attempted to break into several apartments, leaving bloody handprints on the doorknobs, Tingey said.

The assailant then kicked in the door of the Hernandez family.

He barricaded himself and the family inside their apartment, and paced up and down screaming, "Police! I have a gun," Melva Hernandez said.

She grabbed her 18-month-old daughter, Esperanza, and hid her in the bedroom closet. The assailant broke a coffee table in the living room and then went into the bedroom and began tearing the sheets off the bed.

Melva Hernandez said she offered him money, but he refused and asked for the toddler.

"He looked at me and said, 'The baby,'" Melva Hernandez said. "That freaked me out. I said 'Uh-uh. You got to get through me.' "

When the man heard police cruisers approaching the apartment complex, he jumped out a bedroom window.

Police spotted Lucero and arrested him. He was transported to St. Mark's Hospital, where he was treated for his injuries. Tingey said he became agitated at the hospital and had to be sedated.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Whole lotta spammin' going on

I am currently conducting a spam experiment to see just how much spam can build up in my bulk mail folder. As of today, there are 2909 spam messages in my folder. (I think it has been building up for 3 weeks now). I wonder how long it will take to reach 50,000. Probably not too long! It is sad just how much spam mail I get. I don't get nearly as much regular mail as I do spam, which is probably a good thing. There is no way I could keep up with it! Here are a few of the messages the spammers from all around have "blessed" my mailbox with:


Bosley
Hair Loss - Complimentary Consultation with Bosley


ChristianCash Assistance
Need up to 1500 USD today. Christian cash assistance is here


Pet Health
Your dog will love the taste. Care about their health

Avela
FREE TRIAL OFFER - See Why More Men Are Turning to Avela


Hydroderm
Get rid of wrinkles with no injections



Randal Christian
The best blow job videos online!



FreeCondoms.com
Get a complimentary condom sampler package


Now you probably can see why I never even check my bulk mailbox - lol.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oops! I forgot my wife!)


Man forgets wife at Italy petrol station for 6 hrs



ROME (Reuters) - A Macedonian man forgot his wife at an Italian service station and only realised he had driven off without her six hours later, news agency Ansa said on Monday.

The couple, who were travelling with their 4-year-old daughter, pulled over for petrol in the coastal city of Pesaro as they were heading back to their home to Germany.

After filling the tank, the husband drove away, without noticing that his 30-year-old wife, originally from Georgia, had got out of the car to go to the lavatory.

The woman, who had no money or documents with her, contacted the police who eventually traced her husband to Milan, some 340 km (210 miles) north of Pesaro, Ansa said.

The husband told police he hadn't missed his wife because she always sat in the back of the car with their daughter.

Actually, something similar to this actually happened to me in Las Vegas. I was shopping with my mom and my brother (my brother was driving), and when we went to the car, my brother unlocked all the doors, but the back door remained locked. I stood there waiting for him to unlock the door, but he took off without me! I thought he was playing a joke on me, so I stood there waiting for him to come back. When I saw him going out of the parking lot and onto the street, I knew that it wasn't just a joke. It took him and my mom maybe 15-20 minutes to realize that I wasn't in the car and come back for me. At least they came back and got me! Of course, my mom and brother found it very funny that they left me there, and now that I look back at it, it was really funny! But it wasn't funny at the time - lol.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

It was nice while it lasted

This weekend, I went up to the mountains...to Tehachapi on Saturday, and Mt Pinos on Sunday. It was raining in Tehachapi, and I even saw some lightning (ok, we don't get much lightning in Bakersfield, so that was cool to me - lol). Mt Pinos was so nice and cool. It felt wonderful! Did a little hiking and had a nice time in the woods. Now I am back in the hell hole that is Bakersfield. Ugh. The cool weather was nice while it lasted!

Bumblebee going in for some lunch
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A bumblebee and a ladybug sharing the same flower
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Friday, August 05, 2005


wow - what a deal - only $999 !!!! I think someone forgot the decimal point - hehe - either that, or these are some REAL good chili dogs!
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Why all this uproar when one of these dumb swimmers gets attacked by a shark? Don't people understand the ocean is the shark's domain? What is some human doing in the water in the first place? He's a land animal and probably had a nice house somewhere, with a swimming pool out back."

Stupid News Stories of the Day

(Yes, there are 2 this time...you'll see why...looks like these places need new editors!)




(Oops! My bad.)


Woman's Possessions Taken After Ad Error



LAWRENCE, Kan. - Kris Bryan couldn't believe it when she came home and realized strangers were taking away her stuff — including her 7-week-old kitten. A legal notice in the Lawrence Journal-World for unclaimed property mistakenly listed Bryan's address. The notice said the items would be thrown out if they weren't picked up from the apartment.

"I was freaking out," said Bryan, 22. "I told them, 'That's my apartment — there's been some mistake.'"

Sgt. Dan Ward, a spokesman for the Lawrence Police Department, said Bryan confronted the people at her home, who showed her the Journal-World ad. They returned the items they had taken, but others had already made off with an estimated $3,300 worth of possessions — everything from a TV and a DVD player to video games and Bryan's kitten.

Ward said it was unclear how people got into Bryan's home. There were no signs of forced entry and Bryan told authorities she believed her door was locked.

Police are still trying to find her possessions. Despite the ad's confusion, those who took them could also face charges.

"Just that ad in the newspaper doesn't give someone permission to go in and take items," Bryan said.

The Journal-World's chief operating officer, Ralph Gage, said Thursday that the matter has been settled, but would not elaborate on the terms.

"We made a mistake in a legal ad," he said. "It's totally settled to the satisfaction of all parties."


..... and in somewhat related news.....


Misprint Swamps Woman With Medicaid Calls


JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. - A businesswoman in faraway Montana was swamped with anguished calls after a letter informing 339,000 Medicaid recipients of service cuts wrongly listed her phone number for a help line for the hearing impaired.

The letters mailed Monday already have resulted in hundreds of calls to Sharon Rivera, who lives in Columbia Falls, Mont. — more than 1,200 miles northwest of Missouri's capital.

The Missouri Department of Social Services acknowledged the error Thursday. The two-page letter had correct help line numbers for voice calling but used Rivera's number, one digit away from the correct one, for calls from telephones used by the hearing or speech impaired.

Many of the callers are older — some are weeping, others cursing — and don't understand when she tries to explain the mistake, Rivera said. Instead of hanging up on them, she has been listening.

"This has been a nightmare for me. ... My phone rings constantly," Rivera said in a telephone interview. "And I honestly am feeling very, very sad for the people who call."

At the urging of Gov. Matt Blunt, the GOP-led Legislature this year eliminated Medicaid health care coverage for about 90,000 of Missouri's 1 million Medicaid recipients. It cut services such as dental care, eyeglasses and crutches for an additional 339,000 adults remaining on Medicaid, and imposed new co-payments ranging from 50 cents to $10.

Officials in the Division of Medical Service are weighing how to notify the Medicaid recipients of the mistake. The first round of letters cost the state about $80,000, spokeswoman Deborah Scott said. The state also plans to reimburse Rivera for the calls to her toll-free number and for her time.

"She's been very gracious," not only to the callers but to state officials, Scott added.

Rivera runs a home-based business, Hawkstone Productions, that books concerts and sells music for Jack Gladstone, an Indian singer, songwriter, lecturer and storyteller.


all stories taken from Odd News on Yahoo

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Kim's Law #4

When I am driving home from work and REALLY have to pee... and I mean BAD... I will get stuck behind the slowest driver in the world.

Random Thoughts

Today was a busy, busy day! Reminded me of the good ole days at work when I was seeing 5 clients a day. I saw 4 clients today, and all before noon. Crazy! It did make the day go by faster at least.

It is 99 degrees outside. Ugh. I don't even remember the last time Bakersfield had a day when the high was lower than 100 degrees. I can't wait for the summer to be OVER!

I wonder who it was who made up the term "blow job." It doesn't involve blowing at all, and it is not really a JOB. I think they should rename the whole term to "suck party." It sounds more accurate.

Yeah, I have a very twisted mind. I admit it.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if two planes almost collide it's a near miss. Nope, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Did he really think his wife wasn't gonna call the cops?)


Cops: Man Invents Story to Make Wife Leave



OCALA, Fla. - A man made up a story about killing a hitchhiker and burying the body in the woods in an effort to persuade his wife to leave him, authorities said.

Teddy Claire Akin, 28, of Ocala, was charged Tuesday with making a false report and petit theft. He was being held without bail.

Akin's wife, Felicia, called the Marion County Sheriff's Office Monday to report that her husband had told her that he killed a hitchhiker, authorities said.

Akin told investigators he had picked up the hitchhiker, who wanted a ride to Tampa. He said he hit the man in the neck, causing him to gasp and make a gurgling sound, when the two got into an argument over how far Akin would drive him, authorities said.

Akin said he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range and kept the man's wallet, which contained the license of Utah resident Dennis Legrande Allen, authorities said.

Deputies searching the area Akin described with dogs and an air unit failed to find a body Monday evening, Capt. Thomas Bibb said.

Akin eventually told investigators that he was going through a divorce and had hoped the murder story would make his wife leave him, said Sue Livoti, a sheriff's office spokeswoman.

"It seems he wanted to get a little attention and sympathy from his wife," Bibb said.

Akin told investigators he found the wallet on top of a newspaper stand. Investigators reached Allen in Utah by phone; Allen said he did not know Akin.

The sheriff's office would probably bill Akin for the cost of their seven-hour search, Bibb said.

"This was something that cost us a lot of time and energy," Bibb said.

A message left early Wednesday at the county public defender's office was not immediately returned.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I'm Too Much

Don't you hate it when you get a song stuck in your head? Don't you hate it even more when it's a stupid song? I have had this stupid song stuck in my head for days now. Do you know who the Heat Miser is? He is that Don King-hairdo'd dude in A Year Without a Santa Claus movie. I know...why oh why is that song stuck in my head? The only reasonable excuse I could possibly have is that it is so dang hot outside all the time, that I have become delirious. For those of you who have NO idea what the heck I am talking about, here is a visual to help you out...





Click Me!



You can click on the link and hear the song I am talking about. (be patient - it may take a minute depending on your connection speed). Maybe then, you too, will be infected with the Miser Funk. Oh, I even put the lyrics on here so you can sing along. I am so evil. hehe

The Heat Miser Song


I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!


He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much!


Thank you!
I never want to go a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!


(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!


He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
(Sing it!)
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
Too Much!

Kim's Law #3

If I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see another line that looks like it is going faster, I will go stand in that line, only to have it move slower than all the other lines.

It's a Dirty Job...

...And I am glad I don't have to do it! I saw an episode of The Discovery Channel's new show called Dirty Jobs, and I almost lost my lunch. This guy named Mike Rowe goes around with various workers who have "dirty jobs," such as a sewer worker, roadkill cleaner, etc and works along with them. Last nite, I was "treated" to an episode where Mike goes along with a sewer worker. Just the sight of all that crap was alone enough to make me wanna puke, but I can only imagine what the smell must have been like. It is times like this when I am SO glad I have a nice office job. I could not handle that, and I am not afraid to admit it. God bless "dirty job" workers everywhere! I have a newfound respect for all of them.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I don't like funerals. When I die, I don't want a funeral, because I'm sure of one thing: If I don't like other people's funerals, I'm going to hate my own."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(They were on the Senior Plan)


Woman Allegedly Sells Favors to Elderly



NEW CASTLE, Pa. - Police charged a 19-year-old woman with selling sexual favors to two elderly men for $4 and $6 each. Stacy L. Kendall, 71-year-old William R. Claypool and 83-year-old Carmen A. Nocera were arrested just outside New Castle on Friday.

Claypool paid Kendall $4 for a sexual favor and Nocera paid $6, police said.
Shenango Township police Chief Allan Nocera said the arrests occurred during a police sweep of an area where residents recently had complained of drugs, sex trafficking and gunfire.

Police on Monday filed misdemeanor charges of prostitution and solicitation against all three defendants.

Kendall and Claypool didn't answer repeated calls to their homes. Carmen Nocera didn't immediately return a message left at his home.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


My little "neice" Alana - isn't she cute!?
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I posted more pics of her here on her weblog :)

My best friend's baby announcement :)
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Say "cheese" Squeakers :D
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Squeakers playing in her ball
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It's Tuesday today

I have to keep reminding myself that it is Tuesday. I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess. At least it is almost quitting time, so it is closer to Hump Day than it was when I woke up this morning. That is a good thing. We have to work on Friday, so that is gonna make this week even longer. I actually have cases to work on now, so my work posts are less frequent than they used to be (hehe).

I did nothing this last weekend but sit around on my lazy ass and watch tv. Well, I did clean one of my fish tanks, and that is actually hard work, if you believe it. Water is a lot heavier than you'd think! At least my angel fishies have a cleaner place to live in now, and they are probably happy about that. If you think about it, fish are kinda screwed if they have a lazy owner. Poor fish. They have to swim around in their own crap all day long. I swear, Stuckey, the sucker fish, is getting huge! He must be getting plenty of algae to eat or something. I cleaned my betta fish bowls too, but those are easy to clean. I have no excuse for making them swim in dirty water. I gave Squeakers a bath, too, which she didn't really like. But I think she will thank me for it in the end now that her fur is all nice and clean and fluffy.

Well, it is quitting time, so I am gonna head on out into the "oven" that is B-Town (I read that it is 101 outside right now - ugh). I am afraid of what the inside of my car must feel like. Thank gosh I don't have vinyl seats!!!!!

Kim's Law #2

That car up ahead stopped at the stop sign to my left will wait until I am 10 feet from it then pull out in front of me (even though there was no one in front of me or behind me) and go 10 mph the whole way.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Have you ever noticed that quite often when you leave someone they ask you to relay an affectionate message to someone else? They'll say, 'Give my love to Klaus. Tell Klaus Rebecca sends her love.' Do you mind that? Do you mind being used that way? The awesome responsibility of carrying Rebecca's love to Klaus? Suppose you don't see Klaus? What do you do with Rebecca's love? Carry it around? Give it to someone else?"

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Looks like they already got to the "in good times and in bad" part)


Man Pleads Guilty, Then Gets Married



SANTA BARBARA, Calif. - Minutes after pleading guilty to a gang-related stabbing death, Joshua Martin Miracle got married in the same courtroom.

Miracle, 26, who faces death or life in prison without parole for killing Elias Raymond Silva, 30, in October, exchanged wedding vows Friday with longtime girlfriend Christina Beltran, 21, during a brief ceremony performed by retired Superior Court Judge William Gordon.

The groom, handcuffed and wearing an orange jail jumpsuit, managed to steal a kiss before bailiffs took him back to County Jail.

The bride declined comment.

"I think they are very committed to each other and, despite the present unhappy circumstance, want to be together as much as they can," Miracle's advisory lawyer Joe Allen said. "This will enable Christina to come and visit him wherever he may be."

For three months, Miracle has represented himself in the murder case with the help of his court-appointed advisory lawyer. Miracle insisted on pleading guilty but Superior Court Judge Brian Hill said state law prohibiting defendants in capital cases from pleading guilty without the advise of any attorney.

The judge accepted his guilty plea Friday after Allen assured him the defendant was fully aware of the consequences of his pleas.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Kim's Law #1

No matter how extensive of a grocery list I make, I will inevitably forget to buy the one thing I REALLY needed to get.



Case in point...last week. I needed to get TP, and I totally forgot to get it. Is it just because I am an airhead? Let's hope not.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(So THAT'S where those suckers went!)


Dentures Removed From Man's Bronchial Tube



TAIPEI, Taiwan - A Taiwanese man is breathing easier after a surgeon removed a missing set of dentures from one of his bronchial tubes — three years after he lost them in a fall.

Surgeon Chen Chun-lei said the unidentified man visited his clinic several days ago complaining of shortness of breath and a high fever.

The man had no idea the missing denture was the culprit, causing a mild case of pneumonia.

"He had looked for the missing dentures for three years but they were nowhere to be found," Chen said.

Chen operated after an X-ray detected an unknown object in one of his bronchial tubes — what turned out to be the missing denture.

Chen said the 45-year-old man did not suffer serious breathing problems earlier, possibly because the lower denture of eight teeth had stuck in part of the bronchial tube but did not entirely block the passage of air.

"The patient might have needed to have part of his lung removed if the denture was not located before it caused severe damage," Chen said Monday. "He was a lucky man to find it when he did."

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Things that make me go hmmmm...

~ I used to have faith in Comedy Central...that was until I heard they were going to do a roast of , gulp, Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson? I thought that roasts were reserved for comedians like Dennis Leary, Rodney Dangerfield, Steve Martin, etc. Since when has Pamela Anderson been a comedian??? Inquiring minds want to know. (now that I think about it, her boobs are kinda funny).

~ There is a new "reality tv" show on E! called, Kill Reality. This show is all about the filming of an actual movie with reality tv stars as its cast. Sound interesting to you? Luckily, the movie is a scary movie, because the whole idea of using reality tv stars as actors is, well, scary. I smell a box office bomb. I watched one episode, and all I can say is that Toni woman is a royal beeeyach.
Who comes up with these ideas????

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

G.C's Guide to Dining Out


"The pepper mill can be a source of great fun. Keep the waiter going on the pepper mill for a long time. Disturbingly long. Like, for about fifteen minutes. Until everyone in the restaurant is really uncomfortable. Then, when your food and silverware are completely covered with a thin layer of ground pepper, say, 'Okay, stop! That's perfect!' Then, a few minutes later, call the waiter over and tell him, 'This food has way too much pepper on it!"

Stupid News Story of The Day



(When you gotta spit, you gotta spit)


Driver Chases Car After Falling Out



KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Opening up your door while driving isn't a good idea, especially on a busy highway.

Robbin Doolin, 31, of the Kansas City suburb of Grandview, learned that Friday morning when she leaned out her fast-moving car to spit.

She went tumbling out onto U.S. 71 in Kansas City, and to the amazement of other drivers, she hopped up and chased her car as it careened down an embankment toward a construction site.

Doolin was recovering Friday night at a hospital, where she was treated for injuries to her leg, arm and head.

"It's certainly not prudent to open your car door on a highway, especially when you're not wearing a seat belt," said Capt. Rich Lockhart, a police spokesman.

Lockhart said the woman was embarrassed about the accident.

Her explanation to officers: "I leaned out to spit and I leaned too far."

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Here are a few newer sketches - I haven't drawn anything in a long time - lol
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trotting horse
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I noticed in the newspaper that track and field has an event called the women's pole vault. It makes me wonder: With all the options available to her in this age, how does a young woman get interested in pole vaulting? It seems like a bizarre choice. By the way, I hope you noticed I completely ignored the obvious opportunity for a cheap joke."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Must...have...undies!)


Man Allegedly Steals Hundreds of Undies



WEST DES MOINES, Iowa - The dryer can't be blamed for eating these socks and undies. Rusty Wayne Sills, 46, of Des Moines, was charged Thursday with fifth-degree theft for allegedly stealing women's panties, bras and socks from the laundry room at the Sun Prairie Apartments, said Lt. Jeff Miller, police spokesman.

When police searched Sills' home, they found hundreds of pieces of ladies lingerie — and shoes. Miller said he did not know if Sills wore the stolen items.

He said a woman at the apartment complex reported missing items in January. The theft was caught on videotape, which led police to Sills.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Polly wanna WHAT?)


Foul-mouthed British parrot banished by embarrassed keepers



LONDON (AFP) - A foul-mouthed parrot previously owned by a lorry driver has been banished from public areas in a British animal sanctuary after repeatedly embarrassing his keepers, they said.

Barney, a five-year-old Macaw, is now kept indoors at Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary in Nuneaton, central England, when outsiders visit after abusing dignitaries with swearword-littered insults.

"He's told a lady mayoress to f..(expletive) off and he told a lady vicar: 'And you can f... off as well'," sanctuary worker Stacey Clark said.

Nor did the forces of law and order escape, she added.

"Two policemen came to have a look at the centre. He told them: 'And you can f... off you two wankers'."

Clark said sanctuary workers believed Barney either picked up the phrases from television or was taught them by his previous owner, a lorry driver who emigrated to Spain.

"He does say 'Hello, big boy' and 'Thank you' when you give him a biscuit," she added.

"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I am SO glad it is Thursday...

because I am off tomorrow - thank the lord for that! Today was just plain crazy at work. My supervisor is on vacation, so I am the first one the trainees go to for questions. Well, that is all fine and dandy. But when I am saddled with 4 appointments, it can be a TAD difficult to keep up with my clients and the needs of the trainees. Well today was one of those days where I felt like I needed a clone. My first appointment was at 8:15. My next one was at 8:45, and then I had a 9:30 appointment to see. The 8:15 and 9:30 appointments were given to me because a worker was out sick. Well the first appointment went A.O.K. I was finished by 9:15. Then I had to go see my 8:45 (yeah, I was late seeing her, but this could not be helped). Well, I didn't finish with that appointment til about 10:30. It wasn't that the application was that difficult, it was just that the client talked forever. She was nice as could be, but long winded - lol. So, I didn't get to my 9:30 appointment til almost 11:00. I felt like I was SO far behind. LUCKILY, my 2:00 appointment called me to reschedule. I needed that time to finish up all the stuff from the morning, so thank goodness she rescheduled! I was so happy to get that call - lol. While I was finishing up my cases, the trainees kept coming to me with questions, and the other mentor was asking me about some kinds of applications, so I was running to and fro all day long. It was only around 4:40 that I finally had time to sit and relax for a few minutes. It is just like the old days when I had 5 appointments a day....ahhh....memories. Do I miss those days? Sometimes. I will just be glad when my supervisor comes back on Monday! I have a headache. Tylenol time!

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Flight Deck is the latest euphemism for cockpit. I can't imagine why they'd want to avoid a colorful word like 'cockpit,' can you? Especially with all those lovely stewardesses going in and out of it all the time."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(She's not dead yet!)


Dead woman shot in casket, mourners flee



RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - A dead woman lying in her casket was hit by a stray bullet during a wake in Rio de Janeiro and mourners fled in panic, police said on Wednesday.

The bullet, fired in a shootout between a drug gang and police in a slum adjacent to the cemetery Tuesday, pierced the casket inside the cemetery's chapel and got lodged in the corpse's pelvis. Clenilda da Silva, 49, a babysitter, had died the previous day of a heart attack.

The bullet was not removed before burial.

"This is just too sad. My God, to get shot after death," Extra tabloid newspaper quoted da Silva's sister, Maria de Lourdes Pereira, as saying. The newspaper said another bullet broke a window in a neighboring chapel and bullet holes could be seen on many trees and cemetery walls.

Standoffs between drug gangs and police or just between rival gangs often claim innocent lives in Rio, which has one of the world's highest murder rates.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Movie Time

I watched the movie Whale Rider the other night. It was on PBS, so it was complete and uninterrupted by commercials. When I first heard about the star of the movie, Keisha Castle-Hughes, being nominated for an Academy Award for this film, I was like "who and what movie?" But after seeing it, I was pleasantly surprised. It was a well-acted, beautiful little gem of a film. It is all about a girl named Paikea whose twin brother dies at birth. Her father, last in a long line of Maori tribe chiefs, had hoped for a boy to continue the line of chiefs, and after his son dies, his hopes are dashed. Paikea's grandfather is strong in the tradition of his tribe, and, at first, wants nothing to do with her, as to him, she is useless. But as she grows up, his affection for her grows as well. But after he opens up a school to teach the young boys about being a chief, Paikea feels left out and feels like she needs to prove her worth. She wants to learn the ways of being a chief, but, in their tradition, it is no place for a girl, and this alienates her from her grandfather. Still, she pursues it and eventually wins the affection and respect of her grandfather and her peers, but this does not come easily. I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend it for anyone who likes a good family film. I would give this 5 stars out of 5. (Yes, it was THAT good )

Stupid News Story of The Day



(OHHH...OHHHHHH....Uh oh.)


Amorous couple sparks rescue drama



LONDON (Reuters) - A British couple who headed out to sea in a dinghy for an amorous liaison sparked a major rescue operation when their cries of passion were mistaken for someone in trouble, British police said Tuesday.

A passer-by raised the alarm after hearing strange noises coming from the waters near a beach in Torbay on the southwest coast of England Saturday morning, prompting the coastguard to send lifeboats and police to the scene.

"It was found that there was a partially-clothed couple in a small rubber dingy that were brought ashore and asked to put their clothes back on," a spokesman for Devon and Cornwall police told Reuters.

"Our log actually mentions that 'they were having fun in their boat!', but doesn't say anything other than that."

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Random Bitching

Yeah, yeah, yeah...here I go again with my bitching. Well, today is the last day of one of our workers, so we had a potluck for her. Well, some of the other workers (I won't say who or what division they were in...cough...EC's...cough...cough), were complaining because the potluck table was set up in THEIR aisle. Well, these same people had a potluck last week for one of their workers in the exact same spot as this potluck was held in. And the person the THEY had the potluck for was one of THEM also, but had friends in our division, too, so I even baked brownies for her potluck and put them over in THEIR row for THEIR potluck. What I don't get is why the heck they complained in the first place. No one was being loud, and there wasn't that much food over there anyhow. It is just kinda silly when they had a potluck over there in that same spot last week, and some members of our division even brought stuff for that one. It just seems petty and childlike...or is it just me?

And one more work-related gripe... there is a worker who is not yet off her probation period who was assigned to a unit as a mentor. She is a good worker and knows her stuff. BUT, someone (I don't know who) complained saying that a person who is not yet off probation should not be in a mentor position. This complaint just goes to show how stupid and petty people can be. Just because this worker has not been here a long ass time, does not mean that she is not capable of doing that job. If she is knowledgeable and helpful, then why the heck would she not be qualified of doing that job? I know some people who work at my job have been here a long time, but that doesn't mean they know EVERYTHING. Gosh, some of them don't know jack squat, despite being here for 20 something years. Some people just have nothing better to do with their time but complain about mundane things.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"What's really gonna be great is when the ozone layer is completely gone, and everyone has melanomas. Then you'll start to see 'fashion skin cancer.' It'll probably start in Malibu. People will use their skin cancer to form little designs. Since it's Malibu, a lot of them will do their zodiac sign. Of course, if your sign is Cancer, you'll be in real good shape."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Not the brightest crayon in the box, is he?)


What do you suppose he thought would happen?



SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - A Texas man was arrested on Monday after calling police to complain about the theft of his marijuana, authorities said.

Stephen Knight, 17, said three men had broken into his apartment, hogtied him with Christmas lights and stole some marijuana, along with a plasma screen television, police said.

Police are looking for the suspects. In the meantime, they arrested Knight after finding several marijuana plants growing under heat lamps in the apartment, four grams of harvested marijuana and a tablet of ecstasy, Officer Chad Ripley said.

Knight said the men barged into his home early on Monday morning demanding, "Where's the weed?," according to San Antonio police.



Monday, July 25, 2005


Check out me in my Catholic Scool uniform ... I look so innocent - oh what went wrong?

And the A-Hole Driver of The Month Award Goes To

this tailgater on Highway 99 ...





Yes, this car really was THAT close to the car in front of it...this picture actually makes the car look further away than it was. I am glad this car was not behind mine!

Oh yeah...there was a big accident a little further up the road and everyone was at a near standstill. This driver was in a big hurry for nothing.

Happy Birthday to You



Happy birthday to my "little" brother, who turns the big three-O today.

News You Can Use

I don't know if this is true or not, but I do it all the time - hehe

Singing makes for safer driving: study

(Agencies)
Updated: 2005-07-21 08:49


Motorists who enjoy a sing-along while driving tend to concentrate more and fall asleep less than their silent counterparts, according to new research released Tuesday.

However, drivers should avoid overly rousing tunes or complex rhythms that can divert attention away from the road.

“Singing while driving stimulates not only the mind, but also the body, which in turn produces heightened alertness and reduced fatigue,” said Dr Nicola Dibben, a music psychologist from the University of Sheffield.

She said music was more effective than silence, conversation or talk radio in achieving an optimal state of alertness.

“Singing may be less distracting than conversation because drivers recall words to songs they already know, or because it is fairly easy to learn the words to music where it uses repeated lyrics,” Dibben said.

The survey of 1,780 people carried out on behalf of Privilege Insurance found 63 percent of safe drivers — those who had not been in an accident for four years or more — said listening to music while driving made them feel calmer.

Just under a quarter said music aided concentration.

Driving-enhancing music might include such favorites as “Don’t Cha Wanna Ride” by soul sensation Joss Stone or the slow-paced classical rondo “Canon in D” by Pachelbel.

But tunes like The Prodigy’s “Firestarter” or Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1” should be avoided, as they “divert motorists attention away from the roads, lead to greater driver aggression and reckless motoring behavior,” Dibben said.

Beach Weekend


(Sea anenome)

I managed to escape from Bakersfield for the weekend and head out to the coast where it is about 30-40 degrees cooler ;) We ended up going to Shell Beach on Saturday and to Montana de Oro State Park on Sunday. It was foggy on the coast, but it felt soooo good to cool off that I didn't even mind the fog.

We had some kick-ass pizza at Klondike's in Santa Maria. The Denali pizza is sooooooooo mmmmmmmm! It has mushrooms, pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, onions, olives and a yummy tomato sauce. They have a garlic sauce too, but I haven't tried that yet.

I am posting more pics on my other blog Travels and Adventures and will go into more detail about my weekend.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch."



Stupid News Story of The Day



(Congratulations. It's a ... antichrist?)


Who wouldn't fall for such a clever trick?



PALERMO, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian couple stole 50,000 euros from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.

The man, a cabaret singer, and his girlfriend took the money from their victim over four years by selling her pills at 3,000 euros each that they said would abort the Anti-Christ's son.

Police uncovered the fraud after the 47-year-old woman's family became concerned when they discovered she had spent all her savings, local news agencies AGI and ANSA reported

Terror Alert
Level

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