Lewis Black on MTV and the Superbowl Halftime Show

"... and then I knew things had taken a turn for the worse, when, 3 years ago, they hired MTV to do the halftime show... And why would you hire MTV to do music? MTV has nothing to do with music, ok. MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken. MTV is video, and video goes where? . . . In your EYE! Music goes in your EAR. Ear...eye...eye...ear. Big fucking difference! Music is like a drug. When you hear it, you have a vision. And that vision can change over time or remain the same. You know, that first time when you're in love and you hear a love song, and you think everytime you think about it ... you have that vision of your special someone. And then, 2 years after you broke up, you're at the bar, and you hear that song, and you go, 'Son of a bitch... I'll have a Yager." But whatever your vision is, I will tell you, if you're watching a music video, and the video is exactly the same as your vision.....kill yourself. MTV had brought to the stage that day, Britney Spears, N'Sync and Aerosmith. And they were playing music together... if that's what you could fuckin' call it. It was staggering to watch. It was so painful, I actually took a spoon and shoved it up my own ass. Because if I'm gonna hurt that bad, I'm gonna do it to myself. So it was absolutely extraordinary when CBS hired MTV to do the Superbowl this year.
Unbelievable! And that CBS would be shocked that MTV couldn't present a 'family' halftime show. Had none of the executives at CBS ever turned on MTV? All you gotta to do is watch it for 5 minutes and know that it should be called 'The Boner Network.' Kids come home from school, 'I'm gonna watch MTV,' and they lock themselves in their room and just put their little peckers right up on the set. And let me tell you, it will continue no matter what has happened, because of the recent events. I will guarantee that it will continue to evolve the way it has evolved. The halftime show in ten years will literally be just planes flying over the stadium and dropping shit on people .... while an orchestra plays classical music."