I have a problem. I think there is a mosquito in my apartment because I woke up this morning with 2 bites...one on my knuckle and another on my hip, and holy hell do they itch like a beeeeyach! I already had one near my neck, so now I have 3. Grrrr! My new goal is to find that skeeter and smash the hell out of it. Teach that bitch to drink my blood! HA!
Today it's only supposed to get to 82 degrees. It was sooooo nice last night that I left my windows open all night (maybe that's how the skeeter got in - wonder if there's holes in my window screen - hmmmmm). It is so nice outside right now, too, but I am cooped up indoors in this building where it gets so cold that I have to put on my jacket. Of course, by this weekend it is supposed to be right back up to the high 90's again. Makes me wanna go camping again - hehe.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"Leave Iowa and aim your car toward the state of Washington. Your route will take you through the West, giving you a chance to point out its majestic natural wonders ('Look, kids! MORE dirt!'). Your destination is the town of Soap Lake, Washington, home of the World's Largest Lava Lamp project. We are not making this up. Some Soap Lake promoters plan to build a sixty-foot-high working lava lamp, for reasons that remain unclear to us no matter how many times we read the official website, www.GiantLavaLamp.com (if you go there, be sure to listen to the official Giant Lava Lamp song)."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(...this bed is just right.)
Wyoming woman finds strange man in bed
SHERIDAN, Wyo. - A woman woke up over the weekend to find a man she didn't know climbing into her bed, according to police.
Eva Olson, 40, said she felt her bed move and heard the man say he wanted to talk to her, according to police.
Olson didn't know William O'Dell, 48, of Sheridan, but O'Dell allegedly told police he knew Olson because she was a bartender. He allegedly said he'd stopped by her house to visit.
Olson asked O'Dell to leave, then showed him out the door without incident.
Police said they found O'Dell at his home, smelling heavily of alcohol. He was jailed and charged with criminal entry.
___
Information from: The Sheridan Press, http://www.thesheridanpress.com
Monday, June 12, 2006
Caption This!
Look. I said it before, and I am gonna say it again.
KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF OF MY NUTS!
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"There are no wedding magazines for grooms, of course. The groom's sole wedding responsibility is to arrive at the ceremony wearing pants and not actively throwing up. Everything else is up to the bride, who must make thousands of critical wedding decisions, such as: Should she invite all her relatives, or just the attractive ones? Where should the guests sit? Should they shoot firearms into the air? On that last question, my advice is: No. I base this on as Associated Press story concerning a wedding in Serbia, which, as you are no doubt aware, is a country located somewhere. The AP story, which I swear I am not making up, begins as follows: 'In an apparent first, wedding guests shooting off celebratory rounds in central Serbia brought down a small aircraft, local media reported Sunday."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(The things people will do for a little attention.)
Woman cited for exposing herself in store
CEDAR CITY, Utah - A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.
Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.
The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Blah blah blah...and more blah
It feels like this Friday took forever to get here. I think I say that every week though - lol. I always get here on Fridays feeling like a zombie, and today is no exception. I don't think there is enough caffeine in the world to wake my lazy butt up this morning. Yawn.
I usually try to start out my day with a blog entry, just to help wake me up and get me in the "work" mode. But this morning, I really have nothing interesting to say (not that I EVER have anything interesting to say in the first place, but I digress). Work is, well, work. It is hot in Bake-O. Gas prices are still high. Blah, blah, blah.
I did read that KISS will be releasing men's and women's colognes soon, which doesn't strike me as a very good idea, cuz when I think of KISS, I think sweat and big boots and lots of make up. And frankly, I don't wanna smell sweat or to find out what the inside of one of Gene Simmon's boots after a concert smells like. But that is just me.
I usually try to start out my day with a blog entry, just to help wake me up and get me in the "work" mode. But this morning, I really have nothing interesting to say (not that I EVER have anything interesting to say in the first place, but I digress). Work is, well, work. It is hot in Bake-O. Gas prices are still high. Blah, blah, blah.
I did read that KISS will be releasing men's and women's colognes soon, which doesn't strike me as a very good idea, cuz when I think of KISS, I think sweat and big boots and lots of make up. And frankly, I don't wanna smell sweat or to find out what the inside of one of Gene Simmon's boots after a concert smells like. But that is just me.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"It's wedding season again. You can tell because the average bridal magazine currently weighs more than the average bride. Bridal magazines are massive because they carry enormous amounts of advertising designed to convince the bride-to-be that her wedding will be a hideous disaster if it costs less than a nuclear aircraft carrier. 'If your parents have any money left over for retirements, you have FAILED' - that is the message to brides from the U.S wedding industry."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Guess he ran out of towels.)
Speeding man was drying wet car
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Police confiscated the car and driver's license of a Dutchman caught speeding who said he only wanted to dry his car after he had washed it.
The 27-year-old was stopped in Amsterdam driving at 108 kph (68 mph), 50 kph over the speed limit, police said.
"Because he did not have his driver's license with him, his clean car was confiscated until he produces it," a police spokeswoman said.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I am getting sleeeeeepy
I am sooooooo sleepy. I am taking this new medication called Mobic, and what do you wanna bet that that is the reason that I am sooooooooo drowsy. I think I will take a nap at lunch - lol. The freakin' medicine cost me $30 since they have no generic, so it better work. I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Without insurance it would cost $243. I don't know why medicine is so expensive, but it sure as shit is.
Speaking of shit, I have been reading that Britney Spears and K-Fed (or as Perezhilton calls him, K-Fag) are breaking up, which we all hope is true since ever since she met that man, she has gotten skankier and white-trashier than ever. Why she ever hooked up with that dude, we'll never know (let's face it, K-Fed is about as attractive as Donald Trump's hair and about as smart as Jessica Simpson's left eyebrow). Hopefully, she'll ditch that man before he ends up spending all of her money and corrupting her kids. With the mouth on him, it is highly likely that the first word Sean Preston utters will be "f*ck."
Anyway, here is a picture of Brangelina and their new baby:
Ok, so it's not a real picture (I did some creative editing with Paint Shop - hehe), but I don't want those dumb wads at those magazines to sue my broke ass. So there. You will see the pictures soon enough at the supermarket checkout line, if you are THAT curious. Frankly, I am not, but I guess it beats staring at the floor while waiting in line at the supermarket.
Speaking of shit, I have been reading that Britney Spears and K-Fed (or as Perezhilton calls him, K-Fag) are breaking up, which we all hope is true since ever since she met that man, she has gotten skankier and white-trashier than ever. Why she ever hooked up with that dude, we'll never know (let's face it, K-Fed is about as attractive as Donald Trump's hair and about as smart as Jessica Simpson's left eyebrow). Hopefully, she'll ditch that man before he ends up spending all of her money and corrupting her kids. With the mouth on him, it is highly likely that the first word Sean Preston utters will be "f*ck."
Anyway, here is a picture of Brangelina and their new baby:
Ok, so it's not a real picture (I did some creative editing with Paint Shop - hehe), but I don't want those dumb wads at those magazines to sue my broke ass. So there. You will see the pictures soon enough at the supermarket checkout line, if you are THAT curious. Frankly, I am not, but I guess it beats staring at the floor while waiting in line at the supermarket.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"The World's Largest Ball of Paint in Alexandria, Indiana, grew over the years, until now it weighs more than 1,300 pounds, which makes you wonder what Michelangelo might have accomplished if only HE had a baseball. Recently, Alexandria honored Carmichael's achievement by holding Ball of Paint Day, and the town is hoping the ball will attract tourists. So to beat the crowds, be sure to get there early, and allow enough time for your family to truly experience the paint ball. Ten minutes is plenty."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(The evidence says, he is dead.)
Crime-scene students find dead man
MIAMI (Reuters) - A group of Florida criminology students working a fake crime scene stumbled across a real corpse on a field trip to study forensics.
The St. Thomas Aquinas High School students were taken to a Fort Lauderdale park on Monday to look for clues at a mock crime scene where the instructor had planted phony "evidence."
"The students went up to this one area ... and found a man with his back against the wall and he looked dead. They thought it was part of the skit," Fort Lauderdale Police detective Kathy Collins said.
There was no sign of foul play and the 45-year-old homeless man appeared to have died of natural causes, she said.
It may not have been a murder, but the discovery of the dead man may have persuaded one teen-ager that crime-scene investigation is not his life's work.
"I don't really think I could take finding any more dead bodies, especially if it was rotting," Juan Cantor, 15, told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel newspaper.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Calm down People!
It's Hump Day! Woo hoo. I love dem Hump Days, cuz it means only 2 more days of work til the weekend (in other words, sleeping in time - hehe).
I read that People and Hello magazines are supposedly going to court cuz some websites (one of my favs, Perezhilton, included) apparently posted a pic of Brangelina's new baby, saying THEY are the only ones authorized to have the pics. Good lord. With all the fuss over this kid, you would think that she is the second coming of Christ or something. Damn! It is just a baby! Calm down People! Sheesh!
If you wanna see the pic, you can click HERE to see it. Since I am not posting the picture myself, those a-holes at the magazines can't do anything to me, so bite me People! And bite me, too, Hello. I don't know what those mags are getting their pants in a tizzy for anyway since the pic is probably fake anyway. Don't get me wrong. I don't give a rat's ass about Brangelina anyhow, but it pisses me off about how these big corporations wanna buy the rights to everything, including people. And while I may glance at the cover of a magazine while I am waiting in line at Vons or something, I am not gonna buy it just so I can have some pic of Brad and Angelina and their "super kid." I don't think Brad is THAT good looking anyway. I would take Dr House over him ANY day.
I watched the new Simple Life episode the other night, and I was surprised at how funny it was. I like Nicole Richie MUCH better than Paris Skankton. She is so freakin' funny! I really expected the show to suck ass, but it didn't. Will I watch it on a regular basis? Probably not. But I had nothing else to do that night - lol.
I read that People and Hello magazines are supposedly going to court cuz some websites (one of my favs, Perezhilton, included) apparently posted a pic of Brangelina's new baby, saying THEY are the only ones authorized to have the pics. Good lord. With all the fuss over this kid, you would think that she is the second coming of Christ or something. Damn! It is just a baby! Calm down People! Sheesh!
If you wanna see the pic, you can click HERE to see it. Since I am not posting the picture myself, those a-holes at the magazines can't do anything to me, so bite me People! And bite me, too, Hello. I don't know what those mags are getting their pants in a tizzy for anyway since the pic is probably fake anyway. Don't get me wrong. I don't give a rat's ass about Brangelina anyhow, but it pisses me off about how these big corporations wanna buy the rights to everything, including people. And while I may glance at the cover of a magazine while I am waiting in line at Vons or something, I am not gonna buy it just so I can have some pic of Brad and Angelina and their "super kid." I don't think Brad is THAT good looking anyway. I would take Dr House over him ANY day.
I watched the new Simple Life episode the other night, and I was surprised at how funny it was. I like Nicole Richie MUCH better than Paris Skankton. She is so freakin' funny! I really expected the show to suck ass, but it didn't. Will I watch it on a regular basis? Probably not. But I had nothing else to do that night - lol.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"Your destination is Alexandria, Indiana. You probably recognize the name: This is the town that made international news ten years ago when three workers pulled a hairball the size of a goat out of a sewer. The hairball became an instant nationwide celebrity, kind of like Joe Millionaire, only with more intellectual depth. The original hairball dissolved, but the people of Alexandria made a replica, which bears striking resemblance to Donald Trump, and which (I am not making this up) has been prominently featured in the annual Christmas parade."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Pissed off or pyromaniac? You decide.)
Who's never been tempted to do this?
BELGRADE (Reuters) - A Serb man set his car on fire when he heard how much he had to pay to reclaim it after it was towed away for illegal parking.
An attendant told the daily Press the man was very calm.
"He went to his car, took a few things then opened the hood and set the engine on fire. When it was well ablaze he got back on his bike and rode off."
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Better late than never
I finally got around to blogging today. I have been busy working on the scrapbook I made of pictures from Alana's birthday party, which I am gonna give to Alicia as a present. Alana got a lot of presents, so I figured her mom should have one, too It came out really cute. I wanna make a scrapbook for me next, but I really have nothing to put in it - lol. Maybe I will make one someday. I do have lots of pictures from my various camping trips.
This work day is almost done, which is good, since I am tired and my hands are achey from all of the cutting I did today. I also had to make some baby booties for baby shower favors (made out of paper), and after cutting out 20 of them and putting them together, my hands have had enough! Yeowch!
It is hot outside, and I am SO not looking forward to getting out of this cool building and getting into my 120+ degree car. Ugh. Why do summers have to happen? Why? I hate getting all hot and sweaty. (well, if I am gonna end up all hot and sweaty, I want it to be because of something other than driving my car, if you catch my drift - haha).
This work day is almost done, which is good, since I am tired and my hands are achey from all of the cutting I did today. I also had to make some baby booties for baby shower favors (made out of paper), and after cutting out 20 of them and putting them together, my hands have had enough! Yeowch!
It is hot outside, and I am SO not looking forward to getting out of this cool building and getting into my 120+ degree car. Ugh. Why do summers have to happen? Why? I hate getting all hot and sweaty. (well, if I am gonna end up all hot and sweaty, I want it to be because of something other than driving my car, if you catch my drift - haha).
Random Fact of The Day
There are 365 steps on the front of the U.S. Capitol Building - one for every day of the year.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"You're going to Alexandria, Indiana, to see the World's Largest Ball of Paint. That's right: Alexandria is one of those rare places blessed with TWO major attractions, like Paris, France, which has both the Eiffel Tower and the Coliseum; and Brentwood, Tennessee, which has Dolly Parton. Because it turns out that Alexandria is the home of a painting contractor named Michael Carmichael who, since 1977, has been applying coats of paint - sometimes ten coats a day - to a baseball. Why did he do this? For exactly the same reason that Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel: He had plenty of paint."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I think someone needs to hire some security guards, don't ya think?)
Isn't it supposed to be harder than this?
ATHENS (Reuters) - A helicopter landed in the middle of the high security Athens Korydallos prison, picked up two prisoners and flew away in a Hollywood-style escape that has left Greek police stunned.
A criminal on the run hijacked the helicopter Sunday to get his brother out of prison, police said. Vassilis Paleokostas, 40, who was serving a 25-year sentence for kidnapping and bank robbery, and an Albanian convict escaped.
"The guards thought it was a surprise inspection by ministry officials and did nothing," a police official said.
The helicopter pilot, who said he was forced at gunpoint to undertake the mission, flew the inmates to a nearby cemetery and they made their escape on motorbikes. Greek police have launched a manhunt for the convicts.
Monday, June 05, 2006
MMM...brains!
You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Ahh Choo
Well I thought the spring allergies had bypassed me, but no such luck. This weekend, they came back on in full force. Sneezing, itchy throat, sinus headaches...the works. When it comes to having luck, I have none at all.
I don't think my little day trip up to Carrizo Plain and Mt Pinos yesterday helped in the matter either. It was kinda breezy out in Carrizo. All of the wildflowers are gone. Now it is all brown. I didn't see any snakes up there this time (although I did spot a rattlesnake in the road on the way up to Mt Pinos). I did see a few jackrabbits and a bunny rabbit that was lying in the shade taking a break from the sun (it was pretty warm up there). He didn't even move when I went near him. I think, since I saw him at the Visitor Center, he is used to people being around. Plus, it was probably so hot that he didn't have enough energy to move - lol. I also saw a roadrunner behind the Visitor Center, but he took off as soon as he saw me. The worst thing about Carrizo Plain right now is the locusts. It is like there is a plague of them up there! Yuck!
At Mt Pinos, it was a different story. It was nice and green and there were still some wildflowers up there (lupine and poppies). The weather was beautiful. It was warm but not hot, and there was a little bit of a breeze. I took a short walk down a trail, since it was getting late, and then went back down to my car and drove home. Of course, it was hotter than heck back in B-Town.
I didn't sleep much last night, since my asshole neighbor played his loud music last night at 3 am. I don't know what is up with that dude. He must never work. I just don't get why the hell he needs to have his music that loud in the first place. I was so pissed, but so tired at the same time, and I just didn't have it in me to fight about it last night. I just tried to go back to sleep, and debated about sleeping in the living room on the couch. I finally went to sleep, but was woken up again at 5 am to loud music again. GRRRRR! So now, I am sleepy and grumpy. My joints hurt and my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton or something. I am not a happy camper.
I don't think my little day trip up to Carrizo Plain and Mt Pinos yesterday helped in the matter either. It was kinda breezy out in Carrizo. All of the wildflowers are gone. Now it is all brown. I didn't see any snakes up there this time (although I did spot a rattlesnake in the road on the way up to Mt Pinos). I did see a few jackrabbits and a bunny rabbit that was lying in the shade taking a break from the sun (it was pretty warm up there). He didn't even move when I went near him. I think, since I saw him at the Visitor Center, he is used to people being around. Plus, it was probably so hot that he didn't have enough energy to move - lol. I also saw a roadrunner behind the Visitor Center, but he took off as soon as he saw me. The worst thing about Carrizo Plain right now is the locusts. It is like there is a plague of them up there! Yuck!
At Mt Pinos, it was a different story. It was nice and green and there were still some wildflowers up there (lupine and poppies). The weather was beautiful. It was warm but not hot, and there was a little bit of a breeze. I took a short walk down a trail, since it was getting late, and then went back down to my car and drove home. Of course, it was hotter than heck back in B-Town.
I didn't sleep much last night, since my asshole neighbor played his loud music last night at 3 am. I don't know what is up with that dude. He must never work. I just don't get why the hell he needs to have his music that loud in the first place. I was so pissed, but so tired at the same time, and I just didn't have it in me to fight about it last night. I just tried to go back to sleep, and debated about sleeping in the living room on the couch. I finally went to sleep, but was woken up again at 5 am to loud music again. GRRRRR! So now, I am sleepy and grumpy. My joints hurt and my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton or something. I am not a happy camper.
Caption This!
Moments after this picture was taken, Richard Simmons tackled the model behind him and ate her dress.
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(There are stupid people, then there are STUPID people.)
Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
LA High School Math Proficiency Exam
NAME____________________
GANG/CREW NAME______________ CRIB_________________
1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?
2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8-ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?
4. Dave wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?
5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?
6. Tom got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?
9. LaSheena is a lookout for the gang. LaSheena also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?
10. Marvin steals Joe's skate board. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
GANG/CREW NAME______________ CRIB_________________
1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?
2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8-ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?
4. Dave wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?
5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?
6. Tom got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?
9. LaSheena is a lookout for the gang. LaSheena also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?
10. Marvin steals Joe's skate board. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
I read that....
that Anna Nicole Smith is preggers, which is good news for Britney Spears. If anyone is gonna screw up worse than Brit, it's Anna Nicole. I can just read the headlines now..... "Anna Nicole feeds baby Trim Spa. Feels baby is too chubby."
Poor baby.
Poor baby.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(You can look, but you can't film.)
Deputy fired for filming girls in bikinis
STUART, Fla. - A Martin County sheriff's review board found just cause in the firing of a former deputy who was relieved of duty for using his patrol car's dashboard-mounted camera to film bikini-clad girls at the beach.
Jack Munsey was fired Jan. 30 after an internal investigation found his behavior was not criminal but violated department policies. Munsey had sought reinstatement.
The panel took just four minutes Wednesday to determine his firing was justified.
The daylong hearing included testimony about two previous investigations involving Munsey, including one in 1997 when he used a department computer to view pornography on the Internet while on duty. He was suspended for a week. In 2004, he was suspended after he totaled a patrol car while speeding on his way to work.
Munsey's attorney Larry Fagan called the videotaping a brief lapse in judgment that should not warrant termination.
"This is something that will follow him forever," Fagan told the panel.
Munsey declined to comment after the hearing.
Sheriff Robert Crowder said Munsey likely will not lose his law enforcement certification that could get him a job elsewhere.
"He's not a bad guy, but I think his judgment perhaps was flawed and maybe he's learned from this, and maybe he'd be able to work somewhere where this wouldn't be held over his head," Crowder said.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I still wanna be a Ghost Hunter
Last night, the season finale of Ghost Hunters was on, and I was stoked because they were visiting the infamous Stanley Hotel, the setting of Stephen King's The Shining. Story is, Stephen King and his wife had stayed in the hotel and had had some paranormal encounters of their own there, inspiring Stephen King to write The Shining. The show was great. It was 90 minutes of paranormal bliss for me. It showed one of the TAPS dudes sleeping in his room and the closet door came open and something caused a glass on the nightstand next to him to inexplicably break. The video also showed the closet door closing and latching by itself. The guy, Jason, went over to the closet to inspect it, and there was nothing there. Nothing to explain how the glass broke or what made the closet door open and close by itself. Weirdness!!!
Also during the visit, the guys were sitting at a table in a room and all of a sudden, the table and one of the chairs just moved all by themselves. This scared one of the cameramen, who, up to that point, has been very skeptical of any paranormal stuff. The look on his face was priceless - lol. I so wanna go stay at the Stanley Hotel now!!! I want to see some closet doors open and some tables move! I know. I am nuts.
That show is just too cool. I wanna be a Ghost Hunter!
Also during the visit, the guys were sitting at a table in a room and all of a sudden, the table and one of the chairs just moved all by themselves. This scared one of the cameramen, who, up to that point, has been very skeptical of any paranormal stuff. The look on his face was priceless - lol. I so wanna go stay at the Stanley Hotel now!!! I want to see some closet doors open and some tables move! I know. I am nuts.
That show is just too cool. I wanna be a Ghost Hunter!
Caption This!
Sorry Ryan. I just don't think of you THAT way.
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"This year our Dream Vacation itinerary will be limited to domestic destinations that you can travel to by car, assuming that you rob banks along the way, because gasoline prices this summer are expected to reach $3 per gallon ($67.50 in California). The US Transportation Department is advising motorists to conserve fuel by 'traveling mainly downhill."
Random Fact of The Day
The Elephant Man's name was actually Joseph Merrick, not John Merrick as he was called in the movie The Elephant Man.
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Now available in stores...Robbing for Dummies.)
Would-be robber asks bank how to do it
TOKYO (Reuters) - A would-be Japanese bank robber asked staff how he should carry out the crime before meekly obeying a request to leave and then accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife he was carrying.
The 58-year-old unemployed man went into a branch of the Saitama Resona Bank in the town of Kumagaya, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, intending to rob it, a police spokesman said.
According to local media reports the man first asked a bank teller, "Any idea how you rob a bank?" The teller alerted another member of staff, who asked the man to leave.
"He left quietly when asked to," the police spokesman said.
However, the staff member escorting the man out of the bank noticed the knife sticking out of his pocket and a bloodstain on his trousers.
Police arrested the man for illegal possession of a weapon.
"He didn't brandish the knife at anyone ... but he injured himself in the leg," the police spokesman said.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Women's Dictionary
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push"
Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push"
Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Cynical...me?
| You Are 44% Cynical |
|
I am sooo mad, because...
a rock hit my windshield when I was on my way to work this morning, and when I went to lunch, I saw that I now have a long-ass crack in my windshield (no, not a long ass-crack........a long-ass crack - there is a difference). I am probably gonna have to get the whole damned whindshield replaced now - GRRRRRRR!
It's a very, very mad world.
I feel mucho better today than I did yesterday. I was just BLAH yesterday (with a capital "B"). My voice is still a tad hoarse, but overall, much better. Thank gosh. I didn't wanna have to go through the week feeling like that. Plus, I have a baby birthday party to go to this Saturday. Alicia's little girl, Alana, is turning 1 on June 6th. She is so cute. And so talkative...just like Alicia - lol.
Speaking of babies, I read that Mira Sorvino had another baby...a boy, which she named.....sit down.....JOHNNY. What the hell? Johnny??? What kind of name is that? Don't they know little Johnny will get teased and teased for having such a silly name? In a world of Apple's, Shiloh's, Suri's, Wolfgang's, and Moxie Crimefighter's, the name Johnny seems so .... gasp....NORMAL. Actually, I give big time kudos to Mira for naming her baby something that won't scar him for life. One can only hope that other stars will follow suit and go back to giving their kids nice, normal names. Well, one can wish, can't they?
Speaking of babies, I read that Mira Sorvino had another baby...a boy, which she named.....sit down.....JOHNNY. What the hell? Johnny??? What kind of name is that? Don't they know little Johnny will get teased and teased for having such a silly name? In a world of Apple's, Shiloh's, Suri's, Wolfgang's, and Moxie Crimefighter's, the name Johnny seems so .... gasp....NORMAL. Actually, I give big time kudos to Mira for naming her baby something that won't scar him for life. One can only hope that other stars will follow suit and go back to giving their kids nice, normal names. Well, one can wish, can't they?
Random Fact of The Day
The turtle's upper shell is called a carapace, while the lower part of the shell is called a plastron. These 2 parts are joined together by bony structures called bridges. Because the inner layer of the shell is connected to the turtle's body, it cannot, as seen in cartoons, crawl out of its shell.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"You'll begin by driving to Indiana, a state located near Ohio or Wisconsin (ask at a gas station for specific directions). On the way, you can entertain the kids by pointing out the many fascinating attractions of the American Heartland. ('Look kids, another cow!)"
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Maybe he should try to prove his sanity next.)
Man severs penis to prove faithfulness
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday.
The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.
The assertion was followed by loud screams and the man emerged from his room bleeding profusely, his 14-year-old son quoted as saying. His wife rushed him to hospital.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Ouch
It feels like a Monday today, but it is Tuesday. This week is gonna be nice and short cuz this Friday, we are off (flex day), which means this week is a 3-day work week. Hell yeah! I am so happy about that.
I am not happy about my sore throat though. I started getting a sore throat on Sunday and it has just gotten worse. I can't even talk without it hurting, so I have been trying to keep quiet and not talk (which is something people everywhere are probably glad to hear - hehe). Been sucking on Halls and ice cubes this morning. Ugh. I hate sore throats. Hate em!
My work computer has been s l o w this morning, which has been testing my patience, and I had very little patience to begin with. I had to restart it twice already. And my work phone is messed up too. The little red light which means I have a message is on and I have no messages. It is driving me nuts!!!!!!!
I can't wait for this day to be over.
I am not happy about my sore throat though. I started getting a sore throat on Sunday and it has just gotten worse. I can't even talk without it hurting, so I have been trying to keep quiet and not talk (which is something people everywhere are probably glad to hear - hehe). Been sucking on Halls and ice cubes this morning. Ugh. I hate sore throats. Hate em!
My work computer has been s l o w this morning, which has been testing my patience, and I had very little patience to begin with. I had to restart it twice already. And my work phone is messed up too. The little red light which means I have a message is on and I have no messages. It is driving me nuts!!!!!!!
I can't wait for this day to be over.
Random Fact of The Day
Alessandro Volta developed the Voltaic pile, a forerunner of the battery, which produced a steady electric current. The electrical term, "volt," was named after him.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Recently I was in an electronics store, trying to buy a telephone that was just a telephone. I did not want the conference-call feature, the intercom feature, the programmable memory feature, the coffee-making feature, or the feature (this is a new one) that displays the current latitude and longitude of Representative Gary Condit. All I wanted was the feature that lets you talk to the person on the other end."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I like cheese too, but man!)
25 people suffer bumps and bruises in British cheese chase
BROCKWORTH, England (AFP) - Twenty-five people were injured in an annual cheese-rolling competition, where daredevils chase giant cheeses down a steep slope in western England, organisers said.
Dozens took part in the bizarre event at Cooper's Hill in Brockworth, Gloucestershire, before a crowd of some 3,000 laughing and cheering spectators. They raced for 200 metres (656 feet) down the slope after the wheel-shaped Double Gloucester cheese, decorated in a blue and red ribbon.
Many slipped, somersaulted and tumbled their way to the bottom during five bone-crunching races over two hours. Of the 25 people hurt, 12 were spectators, one of whom was hit by one of the hard, dinner-plate-sized cheeses used in each race.
Only two people were taken to hospital for further assessment, however. The organisers said the number of injuries was comparatively low.
"We usually average around 30-40 people who need treatment," said Jim Jones, operations training manager for St John's Ambulance.
"The most serious injuries this year appear to be a dislocated finger and a possible fractured ankle," he told Britain's domestic Press Association.
The wet weather helped protect the racers, as they were able to slide down the slope rather than tumble head-over-heels, said organiser Richard Jefferies.
"It's been a very successful year," he added.
Among the winners of the five races was Chris Anderson, 18, who knocked himself out to claim the title. Afterwards, the dazed window fitter said: "I just ran, fell and hit my head. I feel sore but it was definitely worth it."
First prize in each race is a big circle of cheese.
People from as far afield as Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden and the United States travel to the hill every year to take part in the cheese roll.
The unusual event has been celebrated for centuries and is thought to have its roots in a heathen festival to celebrate the return of spring.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Caption This!
Paula said that George's performance was a little pitchy, but he still had some raw potential yet to be tapped. However, Simon said his performance was "hideous" and "boring" and was a "monumental waste of time."
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Yesterday sucked
Yesterday, I left work early with a migraine. I hate those SO much. I felt like such crap until like 9 pm last night. I feel better this morning, but I took an Advil this morning just to be safe. I don't want that blasted headache to return.
I gave Taylor Hicks some new hair colors yesterday, so today I thought, just to be fair, I would give Katharine and Chris new hair colors and styles too. Check em out...
Blonde Katharine
Katharine with gray hair
Chris with black hair
Chris as a brunette
Chris with gray hair
I dunno. I think Chris looks better bald - lol.
This Clairol.com site is so much fun - lol
I gave Taylor Hicks some new hair colors yesterday, so today I thought, just to be fair, I would give Katharine and Chris new hair colors and styles too. Check em out...
Blonde Katharine
Katharine with gray hair
Chris with black hair
Chris as a brunette
Chris with gray hair
I dunno. I think Chris looks better bald - lol.
This Clairol.com site is so much fun - lol
Random Fact of The Day
Charles Babbage was the first to originate the idea of a programmable computer, as early as 1820. However, due to the limited technology of his time and the lack of financing, it was never built during his lifetime.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(He really loves to read.)
Man allegedly robs bank, reads magazine
ROUND ROCK, Texas - Police in an Austin suburb arrested a man on Thursday who allegedly walked into a bank, demanded money from a teller and then sat down and read a magazine.
Paul Wendell Gunn, 61, surrendered to police about an hour after he went to the bank and demanded an undisclosed amount of money, said Round Rock police spokesman Eric Poteet.
After the teller gave Gunn the money, he sat down on a couch inside the bank and started reading while everyone else evacuated, Poteet said in Thursday's online edition of the Austin American-Statesman.
Authorities closed off the area around the bank, which is only a half-block from the police station, until Gunn surrendered, Austin television station KVUE reported.
Gunn never used a weapon, and no one was injured, police said.
He was being held Thursday in the Williamson County Jail on suspicion of robbery. Gunn is scheduled to go before a magistrate Friday.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Caption This!
Due to the recent budget cuts, the Police Department has had to eliminate their Police dog program and switch it over to trained Police rats. While a trained Police dog can cost up to $1000, a Police rat can be purchased at any PetSmart store for $5.
post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.
Soul Patrol!
The Soul Patrol has triumphed. Yes, the gray-haired Taylor Hicks was crowned the newest American Idol. Am I surprised? Yes and no. No, because he had never been in the bottom 2 or 3 in the vote-getting, and yes, because he is not your typical American Idol. He has gray hair. He dances worse than me. He sings like Eddie Money or Joe Cocker, and not like some Backstreet Boy. He is so energy-filled, it is almost tiring to watch him. But, America voted, and he is the king.
So where did Katharine go wrong? She had the voice and the looks (face it, the girl is beautiful) to win. She just didn't pick good songs and wasn't as charismatic as Taylor. I think what really sealed her coffin was that last song she sang in the finale. It sucked! And what sucks more, is the fact that it was chosen for her by the producers or some other people who apparently hated her enough to saddle her with one of the crappiest songs ever written. Taylor's final song was much better, but that isn't saying much. What Taylor has going for him is that he can take a crappy song and make it good. Katharine couldn't do that.
I heard rumors that Taylor was gonna change his hair color. Well, I took it upon myself to check out a few new hair colors for him.
Here he is as a blonde:
now here he is as a brunette:
and here as a redhead:
here with black hair:
and here with the punk rocker look:
I think he looks great with pink hair - lol.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I've never played serious poker, so when I went to a poker room, I took along a friend, Phillipe Boets, who is an expert. Unfortunately, he's not an expert on poker: He is an expert on pétanque, an extremely French sport where you toss steel balls around, the object being to eventually stop and have lunch. Phillipe is president of Pétanque America, which consists largely of Phillipe. When I thought about a possible companion for my poker expedition, his name came immediately to mind because of a certain indefinable quality he has, which I would define as 'not having a real job.' On the way to the casino, Phillipe told me that the only poker game he has played is 'Indian poker,' in which each player sticks a card onto his forehead, so that he can't see it, but all the other players can. 'Then what?' I asked. 'I don't remember,' Phillipe said. 'There was a lot of rum."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Good news for short people everywhere.)
Judge: Man is too short for prison
SIDNEY, Neb. - A judge said a 5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually assaulting a child was too small to survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of probation instead.
His crimes deserved a long sentence, District Judge Kristine Cecava said, but she worried that Richard W. Thompson, 50, would be especially imperiled by prison dangers.
"You are a sex offender, and you did it to a child," she said.
But, she said, "That doesn't make you a hunter. You do not fit in that category."
Thompson will be electronically monitored the first four months of his probation, and he was told to never be alone with someone under age 18 or date or live with a woman whose children were under 18. Cecava also ordered Thompson to get rid of his pornography.
He faces 30 days of jail each year of his probation unless he follows its conditions closely.
"I want control of you until I know you have integrated change into your life," the judge told Thompson. "I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced."
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
What dreams may come
I woke up this morning with a headache. Good way to start the day don't ya think. I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was a snake hunter on the trail of a rare "black python." I was told that if I caught the snake, I would be paid $500,000. I ended up catching the snake, after several people I was with got eaten up (ewww), so I got the money. But then I gave the money back saying that the thrill of the chase was the payment I needed. C'mon! I would NEVER say that in real life - LOL. Show me the money, then give it to me....that is what I would have really said. Weird dream. Maybe that is why I woke up with a headache. I just hope the Advil I took makes it go away before it becomes a migraine. Ouch. My poor head.
Of course, then Freud would have said that it was a sexual dream, what with the snakes and all. It was a huge snake. Big enough to eat people. Huge snake ... hmmmm......nevermind.
Sometimes I like it better when I don't remember my dreams - lol.
Of course, then Freud would have said that it was a sexual dream, what with the snakes and all. It was a huge snake. Big enough to eat people. Huge snake ... hmmmm......nevermind.
Sometimes I like it better when I don't remember my dreams - lol.
Caption This!
I did it. Manbearpig is dead.
(you have to have watched the South Park episode to get this one - lol)
leave your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Random Fact of The Day
The longest word in the English language containing only one vowel is "strengths"
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"As I said, poker is sweeping the nation, and so recently I decided to experience it firsthand by going to the poker room at the Miccousukee Resort and Gaming Casino, located west of Miami right next to the Everglades, which makes it one of the few casinos in the world where not only can you gamble - excuse me, I mean 'game' - but also you can experience the excitement of knowing that you could be attacked by an alligator in the parking lot."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Dial 1-900-STUPID)
Bible Student Charged in Phone Sex Case
OWATONNA, Minn. - A student at Pillsbury Baptist Bible College was charged in the theft of his roommate's debit card, which was used to pay for more than $2,300 worth of calls to phone sex lines, prosecutors allege in court papers.
Shane Erin Mack, 20, of Belt, Mont., was charged with the gross misdemeanors of identity theft and theft by false representation. He made his first court appearance on Monday. Bail was set at $2,500. He remained in jail Tuesday afternoon.
Steele County prosecutor Scott Schrener said investigators only had documentation in hand for about $500 worth of calls, but the victim reported that $2,350 worth of calls had been made. Schrener said the criminal charges could be upgraded in the future.
The calls were made from March 23 to May 13, according to court papers.
Mack allegedly told investigators he admitted taking the debit card out of his roommate's wallet and using it to make up to 30 calls to adult phone lines from public phones on campus, the criminal complaint said.
College spokesman Tom Lawson said Mack would not be allowed to return to the school when classes resume in the fall. According to the college Web site, the college offers a Christian "education program which imparts a biblical worldview."
A call to the public defender who represented Mack in court on Monday was not immediately returned.
Mack's next court appearance was scheduled for June 1.
___
Information from: Owatonna People's Press, http://www.owatonna.com
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The finale, finally
Well, tonight's American Idol finale had its ups and downs. Both Taylor and Katharine sang well, but the only show stopping, superstar performance was Katharine singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," which she did even better this time around. However, I think Taylor is gonna win. He had the most solid performances tonight, even if his second performance was rather lackluster. I did not like Katharine's final song at all. She was definitely better than that song. It was just plain boring. I don't know why she chose that one. Taylor did definitely better on his final song, and I think that is what the voters will remember. Sure, Katharine did the best peformance of the competition and has a great, strong voice, but will that be enough to carry her into the winner's circle...I don't think so. Bottom line: People love Taylor. Taylor is gonna win.
But then, this is American Idol. If Chris can get kicked off, anything can happen.
But then, this is American Idol. If Chris can get kicked off, anything can happen.
Employee of The Month
For all those people who wanted to see my employee of the month poster, well, here it is...
I had a good hair day that day, didn't I - hehe
Paint Shop is so fun!!!
I had a good hair day that day, didn't I - hehe
Paint Shop is so fun!!!
Paint Shop Fun
Britney Spears is in trouble, once again. This time, it is for letting Michael Jackson babysit her son, Sean Preston...
Bad Britney!
(I had a little too much fun with Paint Shop last night - hehe)
Bad Britney!
(I had a little too much fun with Paint Shop last night - hehe)
Sorry, wrong number
Weirdness. This morning has been weirdness all around. First, I open my soda and it goes fizzing out all over my desk. Grrrr.. Now, my desk calendar is all soda-spotted. Then, I get a call on my cell phone from someone saying "where you at?" When I asked who it was, the person hung up. Then I get 2 text messages saying "hey bro, give me a call. I heard you turned it in Taft." I have NO idea what this means. Apparently people are calling and texting the wrong number today. It is so annoying. It is not the first time this has happened. A few weeks ago, this person kept calling me, insisting that my # was on her caller id. Well, I did not make any calls so there was no way my # could have been on her caller id, and I told her so. She called me like 2 more times, then finally gave up. Does someone else have my # or was it just a number close to mine? I dunno. The other night, someone called me at midnight asking for "Jessica." I just said " I am not Jessica, and I don't know who or where Jessica is," and hung up. Grrrrrrr.
Caption This!
After a series of exhausting tests, the truth about how many people it actually takes to screw in a lightbulb is found.
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you want.
Random Fact of The Day
Reindeer and caribou are the only species of deer where both the males and females grow antlers. It can happen in other species, but it is extremely rare.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"An alert Missouri reader sent in a newsletter from Rocky Mountain National Park containing this tip for visitors: 'Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(How come I am never there when something like this happens?)
Malfunction Cuts Gas Price to 29 Cents
HAMMOND, Ind. - When a pump at a gas station malfunctioned, opportunistic motorists were able to buy gas for 29 cents per gallon.
A Marathon station sold a gallon of fuel for less than the price of a first-class stamp for about 90 minutes Friday before the mistake was detected and and the price corrected to $2.79.
While still answering questions from customers about why the price had suddenly gone up, clerk Nida Tayyab said more than 50 people had crowded the store, likely thinking the mishap was a price promotion, and received the bargain. Normally, the station serves about 10 people per hour.
"I was really confused," she said. "It was so messed up. I can't explain here how it was."
When Tayyab figured out what was going on, she called her father, who works at another store, for help fixing the situation.
"It's fine now. It's all working," Tayyab added.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Oops she did it yet again
Yeah, Britney almost dropped her baby while walking through a crowd, drink in one hand, Sean P in the other. Luckily, her bodyguard was there to save poor Sean P from a head-pounding on the pavement. Check out this footage I found on perezhilton.com...
This kid will be lucky to live to puberty at this rate! That kid, as soon as he gets old enough, should kick Britney's ass for 1) marrying that dumbass K-Fed, 2) for letting K-Fed impregnate her, and 3) for almost killing him...again. And then when he's done with Britney, he should kick K-Fed's ass for 1) wearing corn rows, 2) looking like a total bum, and 3) being a total bum. And a good extra kick just for being so stupid! I can't believe that Britney is gonna have another kid with that loser. She better be careful. Remember that Kevin left his former girlfriend after baby #2. And now that Britney is all trailer-trashy like him, he is gonna go looking for a new baby mamma.
In the meantime, all seems well in the Federspears world. Here is a nice picture of the happy family...
I am almost positive that Sean P's first words will be "no drop me momma" or "f*ck ya'll."
Check out perezhilton.com for more Britney fun. That site is hilarious!!
This kid will be lucky to live to puberty at this rate! That kid, as soon as he gets old enough, should kick Britney's ass for 1) marrying that dumbass K-Fed, 2) for letting K-Fed impregnate her, and 3) for almost killing him...again. And then when he's done with Britney, he should kick K-Fed's ass for 1) wearing corn rows, 2) looking like a total bum, and 3) being a total bum. And a good extra kick just for being so stupid! I can't believe that Britney is gonna have another kid with that loser. She better be careful. Remember that Kevin left his former girlfriend after baby #2. And now that Britney is all trailer-trashy like him, he is gonna go looking for a new baby mamma.
In the meantime, all seems well in the Federspears world. Here is a nice picture of the happy family...
I am almost positive that Sean P's first words will be "no drop me momma" or "f*ck ya'll."
Check out perezhilton.com for more Britney fun. That site is hilarious!!
Caption This!
Do these glasses make my face look fat?
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.
Random Fact of The Day
The pope's full title is "Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God."
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I could point out that, to judge from the covers of countless women's magazines, the two topics most interesting to women are:
(1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and
(2) How to attract men. "
(1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and
(2) How to attract men. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(He really likes gum.)
Man Takes Police Station Gumball Machine
ROTTERDAM, N.Y. - While waiting for his friend to be processed on a drunken driving charge Friday morning at the Rotterdam Police Department, 21-year-old Adam Jewett picked up the gumball machine in the lobby and walked out the door with it, authorities say.
Jewett was riding in Zachary Peek's vehicle when it was stopped by an officer about 3 a.m. in Rotterdam, police said. A dispatcher watching the surveillance system saw Jewett carry away the gumball machine. He told the officer processing Peek on the driving while intoxicated charge. Patrolman Stephen Dixon found Jewett in the parking lot with the gumball machine.
Jewett, who lives in Rotterdam, was charged with petit larceny, a misdemeanor, police said. He and Peek, 21, from nearby Schenectady, were issued appearance tickets for Rotterdam Town Court.
Celebrity answers to why the chicken crossed the road
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra....
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is the definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra....
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is the definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Oh the weather outside is lovely
Oh my gosh, the weather outside is great today - ok, well it's not sunny...it's kinda rainy and humid, but it is nice and cool. I have the windows open....all of the windows and I am still in my pjs and have actually been doing some housework today. Fathom that! Housework. Am I nuts? Yes. But I am a happy-in-my-pjs nut - hehe. Hopefully, there will be some thunderstorms later on. I love to watch the lightning and hear the thunder. Love it! Of course, it will be right back up to the 90's soon, so better enjoy this while it lasts.
This weekend has been thankfully boring. Although I did drive a friend and her daughter to Anaheim yesterday cuz she needed to get back home. I wasn't too thrilled about having to drive to LA, but hey, I am not one to turn down a favor for a friend, especially when she needed to get back home.
I watched When A Stranger Calls the other day, and it was pretty decent, though I thought the ending was too abrupt. It was almost like they ran out of time or something and needed to just end it. But, it was a nice, taut, tense thriller overall, and good entertainment. Not on the level of Halloween, (but then, what is?) but still decent.
Time to get back to vaccuuming. WOO HOO! YES! I love to vaccuum! (just kidding. I haven't gone THAT nuts yet).
This weekend has been thankfully boring. Although I did drive a friend and her daughter to Anaheim yesterday cuz she needed to get back home. I wasn't too thrilled about having to drive to LA, but hey, I am not one to turn down a favor for a friend, especially when she needed to get back home.
I watched When A Stranger Calls the other day, and it was pretty decent, though I thought the ending was too abrupt. It was almost like they ran out of time or something and needed to just end it. But, it was a nice, taut, tense thriller overall, and good entertainment. Not on the level of Halloween, (but then, what is?) but still decent.
Time to get back to vaccuuming. WOO HOO! YES! I love to vaccuum! (just kidding. I haven't gone THAT nuts yet).
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