Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sir, there's a mouse in my soup!)

Woman jailed for mouse-in-soup scam

NEWPORT NEWS, Va. - A woman who tried to extort money from the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain by putting a dead mouse in a bowl of soup was sentenced to a year in jail.

Carla Patterson, 38, and her 22-year-old son, Ricky Patterson, sought $500,000 from the chain after claiming they found the rodent in the vegetable soup the woman ordered at a Newport News restaurant on Mother's Day weekend in 2004.

A jury convicted the Pattersons of conspiracy to commit extortion in April. The Pattersons maintained their innocence, but evidence included tests showed the mouse had not been cooked and had not drowned but instead died of a fractured skull.

Carla Patterson wept Wednesday as a judge imposed the jail sentence and a $2,500 fine. Defense lawyer Michael Woods said Patterson plans to appeal.

Ricky Patterson's sentencing, which had been scheduled for Wednesday, was postponed until Sept. 14. He is at Virginia Peninsula Regional Jail in Williamsburg after pleading guilty to forgery in an unrelated check-fraud case.

Caption This!

Years of constant nagging by his wife have turned Mike Banks, 35 years of age, into an old man.

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Panophobia: fear of everything

Random Fact of The Day

Israel's Dead Sea is 1,312 feet below sea level.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON 'FAST FORWARD', THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(I just couldn't take any more of his snoring.)

Man prefers jail to being at home with grandpa

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man escaped from house arrest and begged police to put him in jail because he could not bear living with his grandfather, his lawyer said Monday.

The 30-year old, who could only be identified by his initials A.M., had been placed under house arrest for six months in the Sardinian town of Sassari after a scuffle with a policeman.

But he escaped, and Sunday showed up at a police station in the northern city of Genoa, asking them to arrest him and put him in a cell.

"He said he could not face staying with his grandpa anymore," defense lawyer Pietro Bogliolo told Reuters by phone.

The lawyer said he did not know what the problem between the two was. "It's probably irreconcilable differences," he said.

A Genoa court however ruled Monday that A.M. should return to his grandfather's house and spend an additional two months and 20 days there because of his escape.

Saturday, a Sicilian man also asked police to put him in prison rather than have him confined to his house, saying he did not have enough money to buy himself food. He later returned to house arrest after police gave him food supplies for a few days.

Things that make me go hmmmmmmm

I saw this commercial today for some tool that will get rid of your pet's hair so your pet won't shed, thereby eliminating the pet hair that gets all over the carpets, couches, etc. All fine and dandy so far. But, then they went on to say that they are including, FREE OF CHARGE, a lint remover that will also remove shedded pet hair. Now, why would you need this if the darned tool that they are sending you will eliminate that shedded hair??? That question has been driving me nuts all day.

Lil Oreo

Lil Oreo

cool - I figured out how to post via mobile phone :)

Mondays usually suck, but...

It's Monday, and ordinarily, I would be saying, "this sucks," or "Mondays bite," or "oh woe is me." But not today. Why, might you ask? Why is this Monday-hating-sleepy person unable to say that today sucks? Well, I will tell you why. It is just a mere 4 days til I go on vacation for 2 weeks. Yesssirrreee, buddy. 2 weeks of no work! Yesssssssssss.

I am going to New Mexico for my vacation, and the best part is I don't have to drive!! I am gonna be able to sit my ass in the car and actually enjoy the scenery and be able to nap when I want and to read a book or listen to my cd player or just daydream. I am gonna take pictures...tons of pictures. I have 3 camera batteries all charged up and ready to go and 2 empty memory cards (1 512KB and a 1GB card) so I will be able to take tons and tons of pictures. I al so looking forward to getting out of this hot, ass city and head out to the mountains. I wanna go already!

We are leaving for New Mexico on Saturday so, as of Friday, there won't be any blogging from me for a long while. So don't worry. I am not disappearing from the face of the earth....just from Bakersfield (hehe). If I can figure out the whole mobile blogging thing, then maybe I might be able to post pictures from my cell phone on here. I gotta figure out how that works first though - lol.

I am so excited cuz I am gonna get to see Carlsbad Caverns. I have ALWAYS wanted to go there, ever since I was a little kid of about 5 or 6 and saw pictures of the caverns. It is the second place on my list of places I wanna see in my lifetime...first being Yellowstone National Park. I am so stoked about going. I can't wait.

With all this excitement, you'd think I would have already taken off. But no. I have to wait a few more days for that. But it's all good. I am off tomorrow for the 4th of July, and off on Friday, so this week will only be a 3 day work week for me. Yippeeeeeee. Vacation, here I come.

Caption This!

Was it a case of woman bites dog or dog bites woman? Find out after the break.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Dendrophobia: fear of trees

Random Fact of The Day

It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint for the average Sunday edition of The New York Times.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO TRAVELING BY AIR

"HOW TO GO THROUGH THE SECURITY CHECKPOINT: Have your boarding pass and photo ID ready. Remove all your possessions from your pockets and put them in a plastic tray. Have your boarding pass and photo ID ready. Remove your belt, shoes, pacemakers, and any large dental fillings and put them in another plastic tray. Have your boarding pass and photo ID ready. Remove your laptop computer and put this in another plastic tray. FOR GOD'S SAKE HAVE YOUR BOARDING PASS AND PHOTO ID READY. Put everything - trays, bags, children under two - on the moving belt, then stand in a nonterroristic manner until the security person signals to you, at which time, while holding your boarding pass and photo ID up nonthreateningly, you should shuffle meekly forward until your pants fall to the floor."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Bad monkey!)

Monkey on the run in Virginia

ROANOKE, Va. - A Japanese monkey aptly named Oops bolted from the Roanoke city zoo, sparking a park-wide shutdown as staff searched the surrounding forest where they could hear her in the trees.

The 20-pound Japanese macaque and her family were being moved from their holding cells to the exhibit for routine feeding and cleaning when she got away Sunday morning, said David Jobe, education curator at Mill Mountain Zoo. She was still on the run Monday morning.

"We hope that because they're active in the daytime, she slept last night and woke up this morning hungry," Jobe said. "We hope to take advantage of a hungry monkey."

At 11, Oops is the youngest of four so-called snow monkeys at the zoo. The furry, light brown monkey with the red face got her name because the others were not supposed to reproduce.

Jobe said he believes she is staying in the forest so she can be in earshot of her family. It's her first trip out of the zoo, and while the staff hadn't seen her since Sunday morning, they heard her throughout the day Sunday as they searched in the forest that surrounds the zoo, he said.

"Part of our concern for her is that it's the first time she's ever been anywhere else and we're sure she's frightened," Jobe said.

The four-acre zoo, which sits on a mountain inside a Roanoke city park, had never had an escape from its grounds in its 55 years until Sunday, Jobe said. At some point while the monkeys were being shifted, either a zoo employee made a mistake or a piece of equipment malfunctioned, Jobe said.

Both the zoo and park were closed on of the busiest weekends of the year for the search. About 75,000 people usually visit the zoo each year.

"Hopefully it will work to our advantage that she escaped alone," Jobe said, adding that if she were with another monkey they would be more apt to explore.

He urged anyone who spots the macaque to call 911 and not try to capture her because she could be dangerous if she feels threatened. Japanese macaques, native to Japan, are typically 2 to 4 feet long and have relatively short tails.

___

On the Net:

http://www.mmzoo.org/

Must Suck TV

After watching some REALLY cheesy movies tonight, I am dubbing the Sci-Fi Channel as "Must Suck TV." Earlier today, this stupid movie called House of the Dead was on. It was about these stupid kids who go to an island for a party and end up being food for zombies.

Later, I was "treated" to this movie called Jolly Roger, which was about some silly pirate who liked cutting people's heads off and making stupid jokes while doing it. I don't know what was worse...the acting, the stupid death scenes or me for having watched it. Just when I think I have seen the lamest movie on earth, I see another movie that is even worse.

Next up is Jason X. Yeah, Jason. He STILL isn't dead. After all of these movies, why is Jason still so mad??? He got the stupid campers and avenged his mother's death already, so why is he still so pissed off? He needs to take a vacation. And somebody get that boy a prescription for some valium!

At least tomorrow the annual Twilight Zone marathon starts. That will redeem the Sci-Fi Channel for a few days at least.

A warped mind

I don't have much to say today, except for, yes it is gonna be hot again, and yes, I am sleepy again....but these days, those two things apply to everyday - lol.

I was watching tv last night when a commercial for one of those memory foam mattresses came on. Now, I would love to have one of those things, but they are hella expensive - like $1000 or more. I am sorry, but I don't have a grand to spend on a mattress. BUT....if you request info on the mattress, they do send you a piece of this temper-pedic foam (developed by NASA!) in the mail. I figure, if I get enough people to request info on the bed, then if they all give me their free samples, I will have enough foam to make my own bed for free. Who's with me?

R.I.P

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Phobia of The Day

Odontophobia: fear of teeth or dental surgery

Random Fact of The Day

Minnows have teeth in their throat.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Beginner's Guide To Traveling By Air

"PROHIBITED OBJECTS: You may not take knives, guns, spears, spear guns, flamethrowers, catapults, missiles, armored personnel carriers, GI Joe dolls, sharp objects or cheeses, scary animals such as squid, pointy Madonna-style brassieres, or anything else that could be used to inflict harm, such as a DVD of the movie Gigli. If you know karate or kung fu, you may take your hands on board, but you must keep them clasped tightly under your armpits throughout the flight. You may carry nail clippers, provided that you padlock them shut and give the key to the pilot upon boarding."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When you gotta watch, you gotta watch!)

Man pulls TV from house fire to watch match

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Beijing football fan refused to let the small matter of his house burning down disturb his enjoyment of Tuesday's World Cup match between France and Spain.

A fire broke out in a hutong in the centre of the Chinese capital at 3am local time on Wednesday -- kickoff time in Hanover -- and gutted the traditional courtyard dwelling, the Beijing Daily Messenger reported.

"When the neighbours shouted 'fire!', I took my little baby and ran out in my nightclothes," the man's wife told the paper.

"My husband paid no attention to the danger, just grabbed the television and put it under his arm.

"After getting out of the house, he then set about finding an electric socket to plug in and continue watching his game."

The anti-social timing of the matches broadcast from Germany, which is six hours behind China, has forced some Chinese fans to go to great lengths to follow the action.

One man quit his job in Beijing to return to his hometown Chongqing so he could watch the whole tournament uninterrupted.

State news agency Xinhua reported that the 23-year-old's boss at the IT company had offered him a pay rise, but he turned it down flat, saying the World Cup was more important than his job.

The Guangzhou Daily reported that local police were forced to release a thief arrested for stealing a mobile phone when the victim refused to press charges because he did not want to miss the start of a match.

Although there are also many female World Cup fans in China, one man in the southeastern city had to sign a contract with his wife agreeing to do all the housework during the month of the finals so he could watch the matches at night.

Another from Putian, Fujian province, took a less diplomatic approach, Xinhua reported.

When his cheers during the Argentina-Ivory Coast match woke his wife and she switched off the television, he locked her in their bedroom and settled back down to watch the game ignoring her loud protests.

Phobia of The Day

Hobophobia: fear of bums or beggars

Random Fact of The Day

Crocodile babies don't have sex chromosomes; the temperature at which the egg develops determines gender.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

The Constitution Conundrum

"Chapter Three

'Yes,' said Hugh, 'incredible as it seems, there are extra words written in the margin of the U.S. Constitution, and nobody ever noticed them until now! They appear to be in some kind of code.'

'Let me look,' said Desiree. 'In addition to being gorgeous, I am a trained code breaker. Oh my God!'

'What is it?' asked Hugh in an excited yet concerned tone of voice. 'The message,' said Desiree, 'is....'

But just then, the chapter ended."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Up, up and......oops.)

'Superhero' tells fans not to imitate stunts

MUMBAI (Reuters) - Bollywood's new flying superhero has asked fans, especially children, not to imitate his onscreen death-defying stunts after a man leapt off a cinema balcony in central India, breaking his leg.

"The action scenes are meant to be enjoyed, not imitated. Please do not indulge in these stunts," Hrithik Roshan, who plays "Krrish," a Superman-style hero who saves the world from a mad scientist, wrote in a newspaper on Monday.

Newspapers said at least two people had hurt themselves trying to imitate the stunts from the film that opened last week.

A 24-year-old man was in a hospital with a fractured leg in the central city of Bhopal after he leapt from a cinema balcony and landed on the audience below.

An 11-year-old boy also suffered injuries in a separate accident, newspapers said, but no details were given.

"Those action scenes are dangerous... I did the action scenes with full safety precaution," Roshan said.

"...stop scaring me by trying to do my stunts in Krrish."

The $10 million "Krrish" opened to huge box-office collections, as children and adults made a beeline to watch Bollywood's own superhero leap from tall buildings, beat up the baddies and woo his lady love with song and dance.

PETA in bikinis

There is a protest going on across the street at KFC. It is a big protest. It is a 4-person crusade to keep people from going to KFC. Yes, PETA is protesting outside of KFC....and some of them are in bikinis.

Granted, it is hot outside, but do you think people are gonna take you seriously when you are outside in the 100+ degree weather in bikinis and high heels, waving around a sign like a lunatic? If anything, you are gonna attract KFC even more business (probably of the male kind), and maybe a few "customers" of your own. It is Union Ave after all (to those non-Bako people, Union Ave is well-known for the hookers who roam the streets, holding down their corners). Too funny. Only in Bako would people protest in bikinis.

Hope they wore sunscreen!

Do not sleep and drive

I was watching tv last night....a really STUPID movie as a matter of fact called Leeches which was worse even than that piece of crap Miner's Massacre, but I digress ... when a commercial for Lunesta came on. As many people know by now, since the danged commercial is on like every 10 minutes, Lunesta is a sleep aid. Well, as they were reading off the list of side effects, which were many, they said probably the most stupid thing I have ever heard..."Until you know how Lunesta will affect you, do not drive while taking it." Ok. Here's the conundrum.... Lunesta equals sleep. To drive, you must not be asleep. To drive, you need to be awake. So why on earth do they need to tell people not to drive while taking a sleep medication?

Why? I will tell you why. Because people are STUPID. I am sure even Forrest Gump would tell you that taking sleeping pills before driving is just a plain idiotic thing to do. But people are, and will always be, STUPID. That is why we have to have warning labels on coffee, a traditionally HOT beverage, telling people it is, in fact, hot. That is why we have warning labels on windshield shades telling us to remove the shade before driving. That is why we have instruction labels on shampoo bottles telling us how to use their product, because God help us if we forget that critical rinse step in the hair washing process. That, my friends, is why we have a label telling us not to drive after taking a pill that is designed to make us fall asleep.

I feel almost offended that they actually have instructions on a shampoo bottle. I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but even I know how to use shampoo. It is not like I am gonna stand there, bottle in hand, wondering what to do with it. Open....squeeze out shampoo....lather into hair...rinse....and repeat if you really want to or if you have really dirty hair It is a simple process. Common sense will tell you how to do it. I imagine even if there were no instruction label on the bottle, even a chimp could figure out how to use the stuff. But, we are STUPID. We need instruction labels to tell us that a Hot Pocket, after you heat it up in the microwave, will, in fact, be HOT. C'mon. The name of the product alone gives that away. If it were called Cold Pocket, I could, perhaps, see a need for a label. But it's a HOT Pocket....HOT! A label should not be needed here.

There are certain things that really don't need much explanation. Like knives. Knives cut through bread and steak and other food things, so it would be safe to assume that you might not want to use that knife on, let's say, your finger (unless you are REALLY hungry). Common sense would tell you that a cutting tool could maybe, you know, cut you. Same thing with a saw or a drill. Anything that is gonna do some damage to food, wood, or metal or anything else that is tough to do damage to will do damage to you, too, if you use it on yourself. So you might not wanna do that. Keep the pointy end away from your skin.

Other things, like a computer, are a little more complicated and need an instruction manual so that the owner of the product can throw it away and then complain that the thing doesn't work when he or she can't turn it on.

Then, there are the really stupid warning labels that say things like "keep chainsaw away from genitals." Someone somewhere must have actually done that at one time, you would think, because who on earth would think of putting a chainsaw down there??? Oh yeah. STUPID people.

So the next time you pop a Lunesta and then think, "It sure is a nice night for a drive," remember...without people like you, warning label writers would be out of a job.

Caption This!

Due to budget constraints and a lack of available playing fields, the next World Cup will be played underwater with turtles serving as goalies.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Why does life have to suck so much?

My mom called me yesterday afternoon, telling me she had gotten a message from her sister, and for the first time since she was diagnosed with cancer, she sounded very down, saying things were about the same, but she was "slowing down." I know this is not a good sign, because my aunt Marge was always very positive and very determined. But now, it sounds like she has finally given up the fight. I don't expect her to last too much longer, and I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I mean, I know she is in a great deal of pain and to be away from that pain would be a good thing, yet it must be so hard for my poor uncle to have to watch his wife slowly die like that. I know he doesn't want her to go. It is just a bad situation all around, and my poor mom is clearly stressed and sad over it all. I hate to see her so sad like that. It hurts me to know she hurts. I was writing a note to my aunt on a card and sending her some pictures of Yosemite to maybe cheer her up, but I found myself at a loss for words. What do you write on a card like that? You can't say "Hope you get well soon," or anything like that, because, well, we all know she is not going to get well. And to say that I hope she feels better just sounds stupid because I know she won't feel better no matter what. So, I just said "take care." Those words sound so small and stupid, but that was all I could write. That was all that I could think that would make any sense.

It just sucks...cancer, you know. I had to watch my grandma die earlier this year, and that was a hard thing to do. To watch her waste away. To have to watch her struggling to talk and to move. It was more than I could take. I can't even begin to imagine what my uncle Martin must be going thru, or her kids and grandkids. And I always find myself at a loss for words in situations like that. I never know what to say or do. I never know if something I say might cause them pain, so I often just shut up. I guess all a person can do in that situation is to offer their shoulder to cry on or to offer support. But that somehow seems so insignificant. Like it's not nearly enough. Yet it is all I can do.

I hate to start a morning on such a down note, but I had been thinking about it all last night and into this morning and just had to get it out of my system.

Phobia of The Day

Ostraconophobia: fear of shellfish

Random Fact of The Day

The lungfish can live out of water for three years in a state of suspended animation.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"On a recent Sunday afternoon on Biscayne Bay in Miami, I watched as twenty-eight teams of courageous young people - and here I am using the word 'courageous' in the sense of 'completely out of their minds' - competed in an event called 'Flugtag.' Flugtag (pronounced 'floog tog') is sponsored by Red Bull-brand extreme energy beverage, which tastes like Limp Bizkit sounds. I tried one, and it gave me a refreshing lift. I hope to be able to sleep again by Halloween. In Flugtag (which is German for either 'Flying Day' or 'Make Sure Everybody Signs a Liability Waiver') competitors build experimental, human-powered aircraft, then push them off a thirty-foot-high platform and see how far they can fly. The answer is: not very far."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Fire is not the answer.)

Teen burns down house over test grades

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese boy burned down his home, killing his stepmother and two younger siblings, for fear his parents would find out he had lied about his score on an English test.

The 16-year-old, whose name has not been released, is thought to have set fire to the house in Nara, western Japan, and left his stepmother to die along with his 7-year-old brother and 5-year-old sister, domestic media reports said on Saturday.

The boy's parents had been due to attend a meeting with teachers about his exam results that same day, reports said. The teen-ager told police his father, a doctor, had put him under extreme pressure over his academic performance, Kyodo news agency said.

Prepare to die...

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Caption This!

>

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh-darnit, people like me!
Ok, 1 out of 3 aint' so bad, ya'll.

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

It's draggin' ass Monday, and yes, mine is draggin'

God, it's Monday again. I hate Mondays. I hate them. I hate them! The only consolation I have is that I will be inside this nice, air-conditioned building while it is blazing hot outside, and it won't go on my PG&E bill - hehe. It is 8:30 am and already 86 degrees outside and the humidity is about 40%, which is high for us in B-Town, and I, frankly, am just not used to it - lol. It is pretty bad when the high temp is gonna be 105 and the low is gonna be 80. I looked and the low in Death Valley, one of the hottest places on the planet, is 89. The low temp here is only 9 degrees lower than one of the hottest places on earth. That is just plain wrong! Plain wrong I tell you! WRONG!

I am already getting a headache, too. I just sincerely hope it doesn't become a migraine. Oh please, spare me a migraine. Please!

Phobia of The Day

Ornithophobia: fear of birds.

Random Fact of The Day

Hummingbirds can't walk.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

The Constitution Conundrum

Chapter Two

"'What is it?' said a woman Heckman had never seen before who happened to be standing next to him. She was extremely beautiful, but wore glasses as a sign of intelligence.

'My name is Desiree Legume,' she said.

Heckman felt he could trust her.

'Look at this!' he said, pointing to the Constitution.

'My God, that's incredible!' said Desiree. 'It's going to be very surprising when we finally reveal what we're talking about!'

(End of Chapter)"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(There's nothing worse than a drunken old bird.)

Calif. pelicans held on suspicion of being drunk

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Four pelicans suspected of being drunk on sea algae were being tested at a Southern California wildlife centre on Saturday after one of them crashed headlong into a car.

Three of the California brown pelicans were found wandering dazed in the streets of Laguna Beach after another pelican struck a vehicle's windscreen on a nearby coast

It suffered internal injuries and a long gash in its pouch and was undergoing toxicology tests.

Officials at the Wildlife Care Centre said the seabirds may have been under the influence of algae in the ocean that can produce domoic acid poisoning when eaten.

The other pelicans were rounded up after assistant wildlife director Lisa Birkle warned the public to be on the lookout for birds acting "drunk," disoriented or being in an unusual place.

Shellfish tainted with domoic acid was thought to be the culprit behind a 1961 attack of seabirds on people and cars in the oceanside California town of Capitola that inspired Alfred Hitchcock's horror movie "The Birds."

Cheesy movie report

I watched the most God-awful piece of trash movie ever made the other night. It was even worse than the worst Steven Seagal movie (and that is BAD). It was called Miner's Massacre and it played on The Sci-Fi Channel. It was beyond cheesy. It was beyone brie. It was even beyond feta. It was pure limburger! The acting was horrible, the so-called "special effects" were anything but special, and the premise was just stupid. And I feel stupid for having watched it. I think I watched it out of disbelief, thinking that there was no way a movie could be so bad. But, oh, it can be THAT bad. Oh can it!

Be afraid. Not of some evil miner, but of the writers and producers of this movie. Be very afraid.

Caption This!

Adolfo Piastini, dubbed "The Rude Italian," once again shocked the tennis crowd by biting on his trophy cup to , quote, "see if it was real silver."

post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.

Know your state motto

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO

Alabama - Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona - But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everything.

California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut -Like Massachusetts , Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida - Ask Us About Our Grandkids.

Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)

Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana - 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, (But That's Our Tourism Campaign.)

Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's

Michigan - First Line Of Defense - From The Canadians

Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi - Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.

Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada - Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey - You Want A ....$%....! Motto? I Got Yer ....$%....! Motto Right here!

New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...

North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon - Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal

Rhode Island - We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee - The Edyoocashun State

Texas - Se Hablo Ingles

Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont - Ay, Yep

Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington - We have more rain than you do

West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin - Come Cut The Cheese!

Wyoming - Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

It's HOT....damned hot

Oh whoopdeedoo. It 's Friday. And it is gonna be a scorcher this weekend. It is 10:40 am and it is already freakin' 93 degrees outside. By the time I get off, it will be well over 100 degrees (and probably about 130 degrees in my car - lol). This hot weather just makes me grumpy. Grrr.



As you see, it is gonna be HOT...probably until the end of summer, which, in Bakersfield, is the middle of November. It is times like these that make me wanna move somewhere cold...like Alaska or maybe Iceland.

Let's hope I survive this weather and not turn into a pool of melted Kim goo on some sidewalk in B-Town somewhere. Next time you step in a puddle of melted ice cream, think of me - hehe

Order my disorder

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Phobia of The Day

Potamophobia: fear of rivers or running water.

Random Fact of The Day

If the chemical sodium is dropped into water it will immediately and violently explode.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The key to The DaVinci Code is that it's filled with startling plot twists, and almost every chapter ends with a 'cliffhanger,' so you have to keep reading to see what will happen. Using this formula, I wrote the following blockbuster novel, titled The Constitution Conundrum. It's fairly short now, but when I get a huge publishing contract, I'll flesh it out to 100,000 words by adding sentences.

Chapter One

Handsome yet unmarried historian Hugh Heckman stood in the National Archives Building in Washington, D.C., squinting through the bulletproof glass as the U.S. Constitution. Suddenly, he made an amazing discovery.

'My God!' he said, out loud. 'This is incredible! Soon I will say what it is.'

(End of Chapter)"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Wrong. Just plain wrong!)

Clerk gets 6 months for soda urination

DELAND, Fla. - A former convenience store clerk who urinated in a bottle of soda that was later drunk by a customer was sentenced Thursday to six months in jail.

Anthony Mesa, 22, has already served half his sentence since pleading no contest to tampering with a consumer product, and will remain on a form of house arrest for two years after release. He had faced up to 30 years in jail.

Circuit Judge James R. Clayton withheld adjudication on the case, which means Mesa will not be considered a convicted felon if he abides by the sentence.

Mesa was working at a Pix store in Deltona in August when he and a co-worker decided to play practical jokes. They put eggs in beer cartons, and Mesa thought it would be funny to urinate into a drink, according to arrest reports.

He admitted urinating into a Mountain Dew and placing it back into the refrigerator, authorities said.

The victim, a foreman with a Daytona Beach construction company, became suspicious of the drink after he chugged it and vomited three or four times. He settled a civil complaint with the store for an undisclosed amount of money before a lawsuit was filed.

___

Information from: Orlando Sentinel, http://www.orlandosentinel.com

Had a bad day...

Now, I hate that song "Had A Bad Day", which annoyingly played on every American Idol results show and on the radio like every 5 minutes, as much as the rest of you, but that was my theme song for yesterday. Ugh. What a day. I tell you, I haven't had that much pain in a long time. Every fiber of my being ached and I had this annoying tingling sensation throughout my body. It felt like I had been beaten up or hit by a car. Yeah, I had a visit from my "friend," fibromyalgia yesterday. And that is one "friend" I don't wanna see again! As soon as I got home, I took some painkillers and lied down on my bed and didn't get back up for a few hours. I surrendered to the pain. I was done.

On top of the joint pains from arthritis which plague me from time to time, I also get the muscle aches and tender spots on my body that make even a simple hug painful. Plus the dreaded fatigue which has turned me into a zombie lately. Then there is the "brain fog." The thing that makes me temporarily forget people's names or things I have known for a long time (no, this does not excuse me from my lack of basic mathematical skills - that is just from plain stupidity on my part - lol). Last night, as I was lying in bed, I was trying to remember a friend of mine's last name, and for the life of me, I couldn't. It frustrated me to no end! But, no, I am not losing my mind or developing Alzheimer's. It is just "brain fog," a symptom of fibromyalgia. I didn't even know that it was until I did some reading up on it a few days ago, and was SO relieved to know that I am not losing my mind. WHEW!

Today is starting off better than it did yesterday. I knew from the moment I woke up yesterday that it was gonna be a bad one. I didn't have that feeling this morning, so I am hoping my gut instinct was right and that I have a good day today

Of course, it is still gonna be HOT outside today (supposed to be 105 today and it is already 93 outside - ugh). I am SO not leaving the building for lunch. I am staying right the hell here. Screw the sun! Screw summer! lol.

Caption This!

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.

Phobia of The Day

Carnophobia: fear of meat.

Random Fact of The Day

In Texas it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I have written a blockbuster novel. My inspiration was The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown, which has sold 263 trillion copies in hardcover because it's a compelling page turner. NOBODY can put this book down:

Mother on beach: Help! My child is being attacked by a shark!

Lifeguard: (looking up from The DaVinci Code): Not now! I just got to page 243, where it turns out that one of the men depicted in The Last Supper is actually a woman!

Mother: I know! Isn't that incredible? And it turns out that she's...

Shark: (Spitting out the child): Don't give it away! I'm only on page 187!"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Practice doesn't always make perfect.)

Woman seeking license sends car into canal

POMPANO BEACH, Fla. - A 19-year-old woman may have to practice a little more after driving a borrowed taxi into a canal just before she was scheduled to take her driver's license test Wednesday, authorities said.

The woman's neighbor, a Broward Taxi Co. cab driver, drove her to the Pompano Beach license testing office and agreed to let the woman practice driving around the parking lot in his car before she took the test, city spokeswoman Sandra King said.

"He said the next thing he knew she was driving through the bushes and into the canal," King said. "He ran over and pulled her out of the car."

"Obviously, she did not take or pass her driver's test," King added.

No one was hurt in the incident and no charges were pending.

"It was purely an accident," King said.

The identities of the woman and the cab driver were not immediately available.

I'm Mr Heat Miser, I'm Mr Sun...

Holy hell, it is gonna be hot today. It is supposed to be in the triple digits here for a week straight. Ugh. It is the first day of summer today, and it sure came in with a burn. I truly despise summer...weather-wise, that is.

Last night, a new episode of Dirty Jobs was on. Poor Mike Rowe. First he went to do something with coal ( I kinda missed this part, but I know he got dirty - lol). Then he went on to do some oyster shucking. But the best part was when he got to tear down the Rose Parade floats. I never knew just how much went into those suckers. Damn. By the time they got done with tearing down the float, it was nothing but a pile of rotting flowers and fruit and pieces of steel. That rotting fruit looked damned nasty, and even though you can't smell what he is smelling, I could tell that it smelled absolutely foul. YUK! He nearly hurled on the float - lol. I think his suggestion for a vomit float for next year's parade was a good one - hehe.If you haven't seen Dirty Jobs, watch it. It is hilarious, and it will make you feel better about your own job (unless you work in a sewer, that is). Check out on the Discovery Channel at 9pm on Tuesdays, and check out their website (click HERE to go there).


Mike Rowe: "Do I wash my clothes? No, I burn them."

Lunch time is fast approaching, and I REALLY don't wanna go outside to go anywhere for lunch (cuz it is already about 90 degrees outside), and I am REALLY not in the mood for beef stew (today's cafeteria special), so I think I will stay at my desk and take a nap - lol. I am sleeeeeeeepy. I took 2 Tylenol PMs before I went to bed last night and still woke up twice last night - grrrr. And I realllly didn't wanna get out of bed this morning, but here I am. Yawn.

Weather forecast for Bakersfield, CA

Today:
HOT

Tomorrow:
HOTTER

Friday:
DAMNED HOT

Saturday:
FREAKIN' HOT

Sunday:
move to Alaska, cuz it's gonna be HOT

Next week:
HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, and HOT

Phobia of The Day

Selaphobia: fear of light flashes

Random Fact of The Day

It takes eight and a half minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Calm down, people. Calm down.)

Excitement blamed for three deaths

SHANGHAI (Reuters) - Over-excitement during World Cup games has been blamed for the deaths of at least three fans in China and one man broke several bones when he fell from a Hong Kong balcony, the Shanghai Daily reported on Wednesday.

The rash of disasters had prompted doctors to urge fans to monitor their moods during games and keep an eye on their drinking and blood pressure, it said.

China is obsessed with football but is six hours ahead of Germany, meaning many of the games are shown late at night or in the early hours of the morning -- peak drinking times.

A young man named Wang, watching a game on June 10 at a bar in Changsha, the capital of southern Hunan province, drank too much and died at four the following morning, the newspaper said.

Four days later, a woman surnamed Wei, who suffered from high blood pressure, was watching South Korea vs Togo in Hangzhou, near Shanghai.

"She took a shower, went to bed and later died," the newspaper said.

The same day, Li Zhenbao, 27, died in his sleep in Hong Kong after staying up all night to watch three games in a row.

"Doctors suspected he died of a heart attack brought on by over-excitement," the newspaper said.

Ge Zuquan, 29, grew so excited during the game between the Netherlands and Ivory Coast that he ran to his fourth-floor Hong Kong balcony and jumped in the air.

"But he bounced over the railing," the newspaper said. "Doctors said he could have been paralyzed."

As it was, he merely broke bones in his spine, hip, ankle and wrist.

Caption This!

Yuri Staniskova, said this of soccer:

"In this game, you have to know how to take balls to the head.

It sure has improved my game and my relationship with my team."

post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.

Phobia of The Day

Ranidaphobia: fear of frogs

Random Fact of The Day

Frogs cannot swallow without blinking.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Nan Bell and Elisabeth Lindsay sent in an Associated Press article concerning efforts to identify the person whose leg washed ashore in Bodega Bay, California, containing this quote from an official of the coroner's office: 'We're stumped, basically.'"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oops. My bad.)

Wife accused in swordplay death of husband

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese woman has been charged with accidentally killing her husband with a sword after he refused to make her dinner, the Shanghai Daily said on Tuesday.

Police said Tang Xiaowan, 25, who has been practicing swordsmanship since she was young, had often forced her husband of three years at swordpoint to carry out her demands.

On March 3, her husband, Li Weidong, refused to cook dinner because he was late for work.

Police said Tang picked up her sword and put it on Li's chest and promptly slipped, stabbing Li by mistake.

Li died in hospital from loss of blood.

Tang was arrested Monday and charged with manslaughter.

There are 100 movie titles hidden in this picture...

Posted by Picasa

click on the picture for a larger view. (or go HERE and save this as your desktop wallpaper)

I posted some to start off. When you find more, post them in a comment :)

Bend It Like Beckham
The Hills Have Eyes
Kingdom of Heaven
Airplane
Alien
Elephant
Scorpion King
Toy Story
Big Fish
Saw 2
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
The Pink Panther
Anaconda
Small Soldiers
Beetlejuice
2 To Tango
Taxi
A Clockwork Orange
Napoleon Dynamite
Mona Lisa Smile
Boomerang
Red Dragon
Crash
12 Monkeys
Domino
Casino
Phone Booth
Swordfish

My moon sign

normally, I don't put much stock into these things, but I was bored and was diddling around on the net and found THIS SITE. This describes me to a "t" - lol.

MOON IN SAGITTARIUS

You absolutely love the great outdoors! You love the feeling of freedom that it gives you. People see you as a person who is active, fond of travel & sports, and quite jovial (derived from Jove or Jupiter, the ruling planet of Sagittarius!). However, when you are not outside you may appear to be restless, both physically and mentally. You tend to act first, and think later. This is most apparent, and harmful, in conversation. You say whatever is on your mind, simply and bluntly. You are not suited for diplomatic relations. As far as your occupation is concerned, you may be apt to changing it, or have more than one vocation. Overall you are good-natured, kind, and honest. You are very perceptive of others emotions. And if someone is hurt, you take it personally. You may have a short temper, but you are quick to forgive, and you never (well rarely,) hold a grudge. You are a good teacher because of your perspective on life. You can see the possible outcome of events long before they occur (your favorite phrase: 'I told you so!'). Your intuition is strong, and often your dreams come true. This might indicate a psychic influence (but don't count on it!). You can't stay in one place for too long. You like to move!

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it

Oh God. It's Monday again. Ugh. Once again, last night, I could not sleep. I know it had to be after 1:45 am when I finally fell asleep (that's what time it was the last time I looked at the clock before I fell asleep). The doctor would be so pissed at me if she found that out - lol. It wasn't for lack of trying. I kept telling myself to relax and go to sleep, but, yeah, that didn't work. I got up to get a glass of water, and being the dumbass I am, I tripped over my shoe and spilled the water all over the carpet - LOL. It would have helped to have turned the light on, but I was too lazy to do it. I guess the little "trip" was punishment for being lazy Of course, that is just the sort of person I am....a total klutz!

I kept thinking about this stupid heart murmur thing the doctor found. I know I shouldn't worry about it. If it were really something, she would have sent me to another doctor, right? I know she would have. I read that most of them are completely harmless anyway, but still I am a worry wart, just like my mom. I know that worrying will only put more stress on me and probably increase my blood pressure - lol. Stress is really getting to me lately, especially after finding out about this new problem. Grrrrrrrr. I need a vacation.... from myself!

I did have a pretty good day yesterday. I did absolutely nothing - lol. Well I did play around on the computer, messing around with Paint Shop and stuff. And there was a Dirty Jobs marathon on The Discovery Channel yesterday. I love that show. It is hilarious! And it makes me appreciate my own job. At least I am not out there sticking my arm up a cow's ass like some people have to do! I am glad I have an office job! That show makes me laugh.

I also love the fact that House is on tv late at night on TNT or some channel like that (I just know it is on channel 32 or 33...or maybe 34 - lol) At least I love that show and can't get enough of it. I want Dr House to be my doctor! hehe. He may be a cranky pants, but he is damned handsome...and damned smart.

I bet he could fix me! hehe

Caption This!

My, what a big head you have!

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Caption This!

My, what a big head you have!

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Lygophobia: fear of darkness

Random Fact of The Day

The moon is actually moving away from Earth at a rate of 1.5 inches per year.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Ask Mr. Language Person

Q. What are 'metrosexuals?'

A. They are individuals who have sex (also known as 'bling bling') on subways.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Luckily, she didn't buy a pony instead.)

Woman accused of attack with dead puppy

ST. LOUIS - A woman accused of pummeling a dog breeder over the head with a dead Chihuahua has been charged with two misdemeanors and reimbursed the money she paid for the puppy.

Lisa Lynn Hopfer, 33, of Wentzville, was charged with trespassing and third-degree assault in the June 7 incident, authorities said.

No listed phone number for Hopfer was available. A man at her home who declined to identify himself told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Friday that "there's another side to the story," but declined to elaborate.

Hopfer told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy named Chloe, it died.

Authorities said Hopfer went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

Linda Hulsey, 33, of St. Peters, wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said.

Hulsey said she was hit with the dead puppy at least 30 times and went to a hospital for her bruises, but had no serious injuries. She said she was upset that Hopfer had accused her of selling the puppy too young and said the puppy was two days shy of 6 weeks old.

Hulsey said she later returned the $100 that Hopfer had paid for the dog.

Happy Father's Day

To all the dads out there, everywhere.

Whenever I feel bad about myself...

I look at a picture of Britney Spears...



and suddenly, I feel pretty good again.

Caption This!

No! For the last time...I don't wanna spend the night at your house!

or

Who is this strange white woman and what does she want?

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Zemmiphobia: fear of the great mole rat

Random Fact of The Day

A mole can dig a hole 300 feet deep in one night.

Funny stuff From Dave Barry

Dream Vacation Itinerary

"At the present time, the Giant Lava Lamp does not, if you want to get highly technical, exist. But there's an impressive artist's rendering of it on their website. You can print this out and display it when you get to Soap Lake. 'Look kids!'you can say. 'Someday this will...Kids? Kids?' Ha ha! Turns out your kids escaped the car at a gas stop back in South Dakota and hitchhiked home. They're probably laughing at you right now. The little rascals! We'll see how hard they laugh when they find out you spent their college money on gas."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Maybe he should have just gone bungee jumping instead.)

Naked man takes 'risk', gets shot at

ANN ARBOR, Mich. - A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important. He got more than he bargained for when he ended up being chased and shot at.

"Just when you thought you had heard everything," Ann Arbor police Detective Sgt. Jim Stephenson told The Ann Arbor News.

The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports. The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.

Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.

The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.

A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was taken to the Washtenaw County jail but released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.

The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said.

___

Information from: The Ann Arbor News, http://www.mlive.com/aanews

Just how gross am I?

You Are 40% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person. No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

Stop murmuring - I can't hear you

Well, I just got back from the rheumatologist. Big fun. At least they didn't have to take my blood this time. Yes, I escaped the needle. I knew that my last blood test was gonna yield some unfavorable results. I was in a lot of pain that day and my inflammation level was at 60 (normal is 10-20), so it was pretty high. I am taking this new anti-inflammatory drug and hopefully that will make a difference. It seems to have brought the pain down to a bearable level so far. I just hope it continues to work and not sputter out like Celebrex and Bextra did. The big thing that has been plaguing me for years now is the lack of a decent night's sleep. The doctor says it is very important to get 6-8 hours of restful sleep per night. I don't think I have had that in a long time. Sure, I go to bed with the intentions of getting at least 6 hours of sleep, but I never stay asleep to get the full 6 hours. Could that be what is making me feel so icky? Very likely. Not only does a lack of sleep lead to fatigue, but it can also contribute to depression, which is something I have been battling lately. Maybe once I get the whole sleep thing fixed, it will fix the rest of me, too.

The thing that is worrying me now (as if I need MORE to worry about), is that this time the doctor said she heard a heart murmur, which is something she has never heard before. I hope that it was just her hearing or maybe that her stethescope was messed up or something. But why did she have to say that out loud? UGH! That is just not cool. Now I am gonna be all paranoid - lol. Damned doctors. UGHH! I have to go back on July 26th. I hope next time she says all is well and that her stethescope was just bad - lol.

Oh me and my weirdness. We make quite a pair - lol.

Phobia of The Day

Ablutophobia: fear of bathing or washing

Random Fact of The Day

An 'aglet' is the plastic or metal tip of a shoelace.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"According to a recent Associated Press story, guests at a Serbian wedding actually shot down a plane. The AP states that 'Shootings and fatalities are frequent at Serbian weddings because of the centuries-long tradition of blasting away with firearms in celebration.' Now, I have been to some exuberant wedding receptions, including one where a good friend of mine - whom, out of respect for his privacy, I will identify him here only as 'Joseph DiGiacinto, 235 Main Street, White Plains, NY 10601' - waded into a large fountain and attempted to overthrow, via hand-to-hand combat, a religious statue. But as an expression of joy at the union of a man and a woman, this pales in comparison with shooting down aircraft."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Shoulda left the dog at home.)

Suspect's dog bites him in police chase

CEDAR CITY, Utah - A police pursuit ended when the suspect's dog, not happy about being bounced around in the car, bit its owner on the face.

Iron County sheriff's officers approached Nicholas T. Galanis, 47, of Salt Lake City to talk to him about some stolen property.

Galanis got in his car and fled with his dog.

The chase went southbound on Gold Springs Road, a windy, bumpy dirt road about five miles northwest of Modena, at around 5:38 p.m. Monday, said sheriff's detective Jody Edwards.

"Deputies could see the dog in the passenger seat getting slammed into the window," he said.

The dog, which is partly pit bull, "became so agitated that he bit his owner in the face," Edwards said. "And this is what ended the chase."

The bite removed part of Galanis' nose and he stopped.

Galanis was taken to Valley View Medical Center before being booked into Iron County Jail.

His dog was taken to the Enoch Animal Shelter.

Galanis was held for investigation of supplying false information to police, receiving/possession of stolen property and theft.

___

Information from: The Spectrum, http://www.thespectrum.com

Before I forget....

I was watching the movie "The Day The Earth Stood Still" (great movie by the way), and recognized a phrase toward the end of the movie...."Klaatu barada nikto," which was said to the robot, Gort, to stop him from destroying the world. Yes, those were the words uttered by Ash in "Army of Darkness," which he forgets and says wrong (saying "necktie" instead of "nikto") and a whole sh*tload of bad stuff ensues. I thought it was funny, so I looked it up. Turns out, those words were used many times in other movies, too... check it out:

(from Wikipedia.com)


In the film Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, three of Jabba the Hutt's skiff guards are named Klaatu, Barada, and Nikto, and Barada's species is Klatoonian.

In the play The Foreigner, by Larry Shue, Charlie speaks the phrase when talking about editing a sci-fi magazine.

1984: in the computer game Robot Odyssey this phrase appears upon solving one of the puzzles, that disables a sentry robot.

1986: In the movie Chopping Mall one of the teenagers uses this phrase when queried by the security robot for his id.

In an episode of The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers (1986), "Klaatu Nikto Barada" is a greeting used by the freedom fighters of Wolcab.

1989: in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series episode Invasion of the Turtle Snatchers, a family of three aliens encountered by Donatello and Rocksteady are named Klaatu, Barada and Nikto. Klaatu is the father, Barada is the mother and Nikto is the little boy. In this version, Klaatu, Barada and Nikto come from a planet orbiting the star Antares.

There's more, too. Go HERE to see.

Just something that I found interesting, that nobody else probably will - lol.

Caption This!

Gently down the stream, my ass!

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Nasty, blood-sucking beeeyaches!

I have a problem. I think there is a mosquito in my apartment because I woke up this morning with 2 bites...one on my knuckle and another on my hip, and holy hell do they itch like a beeeeyach! I already had one near my neck, so now I have 3. Grrrr! My new goal is to find that skeeter and smash the hell out of it. Teach that bitch to drink my blood! HA!

Today it's only supposed to get to 82 degrees. It was sooooo nice last night that I left my windows open all night (maybe that's how the skeeter got in - wonder if there's holes in my window screen - hmmmmm). It is so nice outside right now, too, but I am cooped up indoors in this building where it gets so cold that I have to put on my jacket. Of course, by this weekend it is supposed to be right back up to the high 90's again. Makes me wanna go camping again - hehe.

Phobia of The Day

Batophobia: fear of heights or of being close to high buildings.

Random Fact of The Day

The average temperature at 40,000 feet above sea level is -60 F.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Dream Vacation Itinerary

"Leave Iowa and aim your car toward the state of Washington. Your route will take you through the West, giving you a chance to point out its majestic natural wonders ('Look, kids! MORE dirt!'). Your destination is the town of Soap Lake, Washington, home of the World's Largest Lava Lamp project. We are not making this up. Some Soap Lake promoters plan to build a sixty-foot-high working lava lamp, for reasons that remain unclear to us no matter how many times we read the official website, www.GiantLavaLamp.com (if you go there, be sure to listen to the official Giant Lava Lamp song)."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(...this bed is just right.)

Wyoming woman finds strange man in bed

SHERIDAN, Wyo. - A woman woke up over the weekend to find a man she didn't know climbing into her bed, according to police.

Eva Olson, 40, said she felt her bed move and heard the man say he wanted to talk to her, according to police.

Olson didn't know William O'Dell, 48, of Sheridan, but O'Dell allegedly told police he knew Olson because she was a bartender. He allegedly said he'd stopped by her house to visit.

Olson asked O'Dell to leave, then showed him out the door without incident.

Police said they found O'Dell at his home, smelling heavily of alcohol. He was jailed and charged with criminal entry.

___

Information from: The Sheridan Press, http://www.thesheridanpress.com

Caption This!

Look. I said it before, and I am gonna say it again.
KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF OF MY NUTS!

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Vestiphobia: Fear of clothing

Random Fact of The Day

Nylon is made from coal and petroleum.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"There are no wedding magazines for grooms, of course. The groom's sole wedding responsibility is to arrive at the ceremony wearing pants and not actively throwing up. Everything else is up to the bride, who must make thousands of critical wedding decisions, such as: Should she invite all her relatives, or just the attractive ones? Where should the guests sit? Should they shoot firearms into the air? On that last question, my advice is: No. I base this on as Associated Press story concerning a wedding in Serbia, which, as you are no doubt aware, is a country located somewhere. The AP story, which I swear I am not making up, begins as follows: 'In an apparent first, wedding guests shooting off celebratory rounds in central Serbia brought down a small aircraft, local media reported Sunday."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(The things people will do for a little attention.)

Woman cited for exposing herself in store

CEDAR CITY, Utah - A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.

Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.

The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.