I thought no commercial could ever be as creepy as the Quizno's commercial ... I was wrong - way wrong. Skittles has come up with an even creepier commercial, and they call them, the "Sheep Boys." - this is just wrong!
Posted by Hello
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Rocking and rolling in Central California
As I was getting dressed no more than 10 minutes ago, my place started shaking and the stars on my ceiling started moving back and forth...yep, it was an earthquake. I sat on my bed for a minute wondering if the shaking was going to get any stronger, and when I decided it was ok, I just sat there and enjoyed the ride. Earth shaking is just one of the "perks" of living in California.
Of course, I had to look it up to see where the epicenter was (since I am a nerd like that).
Magnitude 5.1 - CENTRAL CALIFORNIA 2005 April 16 19:18:12 UTC Preliminary Earthquake Report California Integrated Seismic NetUSGS/ Caltech/ CGS/ UCB/ UCSD/ UNR
A moderate earthquake occurred at 19:18:12 (UTC) on Saturday, April 16, 2005. The magnitude 5.1 event has been located in CENTRAL CALIFORNIA.
Location
35.021°N, 119.174°W
Depth
0.4 km (~0.2 mile) (poorly constrained)
Region
CENTRAL CALIFORNIA
Distances
19 km (12 miles) N (356°) from Pine Mountain Club, CA
19 km (12 miles) WSW (256°) from Mettler, CA
21 km (13 miles) E (101°) from Maricopa, CA
36 km (22 miles) SW (222°) from Lamont, CA
40 km (25 miles) SSW (199°) from Bakersfield, CA
137 km (85 miles) NW (322°) from Los Angeles Civic Center, CA
so the epicenter was pretty close to home. Luckily it was only a moderate earthquake, so nothing fell off my shelves, but it did wake up Squeakers, my hamster - lol.
Wonder if there will be any aftershocks - lol.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass has grown through a
crack in the concrete. It's so damn heroic."
Stuff for men to know
according to Netscape's Men's section, these are the "25 Things Women Wish Men Would Figure Out" - by Laura Singer
*this is what I, as a woman, say
1) Saying "I love you" before, during or after sex doesn't count.
(* this is true - unless he has said "I love you" before, saying this pre, mid or post coitus does not count - lol. Especially pre or mid! I want to hear it out of the blue, and for him to MEAN it!)
2) When we ask you how we look, "fine" is not an appropriate answer.
(* well, I generally never ask how I look to anyone, cuz I know I look crappy no matter what - lol - that question should be avoided at all costs, less someone get hurt - lol)
3) We obsess over whether you'll call from the moment we give you our number.
(*this is true! I love to get phone calls. Except from telemarketers - lol)
4) We fantasize. But it's usually about you.
(* true again - I find it silly and "unproductive" to fantasize about celebrities and the like. It is never gonna happen. I am more of a realist - lol)
5) We love it when you email us at work.
(* yep! I love that too - almost as much as phone calls - lol)
6) No matter how cool we seem about it, if you did something bad, we're pissed off.
(* depends on how bad the thing was - if it was something little, like not calling when he said he would, then I can get over that fast. BUT, if he stole something from me, that is quite another thing.)
7) Don't patronize us by asking if our bad mood is because of PMS.
(* LOL - that is funny - those who know me, know that I am moody anyway, and yes, I do attribute it to PMS sometimes. But, please don't ask me if I am PMS'ing - that is a sure way to piss me off - lol)
8) Don't ever tell us what to do, even when we ask you to.
(* well this is not quite true - If I ask for directions, I do want to be told what to do and where to go - lol - but I don't want to be told what to wear though or what I should or should not believe in)
9) We will leave you if you lie to us.
(*again, depends on the lie - if he lies to me and tells me my cooking tastes good when I know if doesn't, then I am not gonna leave him for that - lol - however, if he lies to me about his marital status or something big like that, yes, this would be true)
10) We're unimpressed by men who don't take the lead. Be a man, dammit!
(* this is very true - I don't like pushovers or men who always agree with me just for the sake of agreement - BE A MAN!!! There is a fine line between being agressive and being a man though - a line that should not be crossed - unless you are driving, then it is ok - lol)
11) We love when you hold our hands.
(* very true! I love holding hands - I am a romantic I guess, and like men who like to be romantic back - it isn't all about sex, you know.)
12) We need to hear how you feel about us. Tell us right now. And again in ten minutes.
(* very true - well at least if he wants to stay in a relationship with me - I need to feel that I am appreciated and thought about and that I am special to him - although every ten minutes is extremely excessive (not to mention obsessive) - maybe every other day or whenever he calls - but not every ten minutes! That is nuts!)
13) We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to know it.
(* exactly !! right on the money there)
14) If we don't feel loved, we'll start looking elsewhere.
(* VERY true! If I don't feel special or like I am getting the attention and affection I deserve, then I am outta there! It is very important to me to feel like I am special and wanted. )
15) Don't talk about your ex. Ever.
(* not true - it is ok to talk about the ex - I would like to know what went wrong so maybe I can avoid making the same mistake - talking about her excessively, however, is NOT ok)
16) We like porn, too.
(yep! except the ones with girl on girl action - NASTY!)
17) We remember everything about our relationships. Yes, everything.
(* yep - I have a good memory - which is both a good and bad thing)
18) We let you fix things.
(* oh yeah - since I am inept at fixing most things - especially anything automotive)
19) You're sexiest when you're: sweating, driving, shaving, or holding a baby.
(* I agree on all of these but driving - I don't particularly think of driving as being sexy - I would also add smiling and smelling good to the list)
20) We've faked it.
(* yep!)
21) Groping and foreplay are not the same thing.
(* again, yep! I want romance, not just blind lust)
22) While we're on the subject: more foreplay!
(* YES! lol)
23) If we're not having sex it's because: we feel fat; we don't feel very close to you, or we are punishing you for not doing something our way.
(* I agree on the 2nd and 3rd ones ... well on the 3rd one, maybe not for not doing something MY way, but just something bad in general ... but not the first - also add "that time of the month" to the list - lol)
24) We're afraid to meet your mother.
(* not necessarily, unless his mother is a cannibal or something - I would feel a little odd if I was not invited to meet his family or friends if I have been with him for a while - that would be a clue to me that I was not that important to him, or that he was ashamed to be seen with me. )
25) We think you should have already known all this stuff.
(* some of these things, yes ... but I like to retain some of my mystery - things cease to be interesting after you have figured it all out.)
*this is what I, as a woman, say
1) Saying "I love you" before, during or after sex doesn't count.
(* this is true - unless he has said "I love you" before, saying this pre, mid or post coitus does not count - lol. Especially pre or mid! I want to hear it out of the blue, and for him to MEAN it!)
2) When we ask you how we look, "fine" is not an appropriate answer.
(* well, I generally never ask how I look to anyone, cuz I know I look crappy no matter what - lol - that question should be avoided at all costs, less someone get hurt - lol)
3) We obsess over whether you'll call from the moment we give you our number.
(*this is true! I love to get phone calls. Except from telemarketers - lol)
4) We fantasize. But it's usually about you.
(* true again - I find it silly and "unproductive" to fantasize about celebrities and the like. It is never gonna happen. I am more of a realist - lol)
5) We love it when you email us at work.
(* yep! I love that too - almost as much as phone calls - lol)
6) No matter how cool we seem about it, if you did something bad, we're pissed off.
(* depends on how bad the thing was - if it was something little, like not calling when he said he would, then I can get over that fast. BUT, if he stole something from me, that is quite another thing.)
7) Don't patronize us by asking if our bad mood is because of PMS.
(* LOL - that is funny - those who know me, know that I am moody anyway, and yes, I do attribute it to PMS sometimes. But, please don't ask me if I am PMS'ing - that is a sure way to piss me off - lol)
8) Don't ever tell us what to do, even when we ask you to.
(* well this is not quite true - If I ask for directions, I do want to be told what to do and where to go - lol - but I don't want to be told what to wear though or what I should or should not believe in)
9) We will leave you if you lie to us.
(*again, depends on the lie - if he lies to me and tells me my cooking tastes good when I know if doesn't, then I am not gonna leave him for that - lol - however, if he lies to me about his marital status or something big like that, yes, this would be true)
10) We're unimpressed by men who don't take the lead. Be a man, dammit!
(* this is very true - I don't like pushovers or men who always agree with me just for the sake of agreement - BE A MAN!!! There is a fine line between being agressive and being a man though - a line that should not be crossed - unless you are driving, then it is ok - lol)
11) We love when you hold our hands.
(* very true! I love holding hands - I am a romantic I guess, and like men who like to be romantic back - it isn't all about sex, you know.)
12) We need to hear how you feel about us. Tell us right now. And again in ten minutes.
(* very true - well at least if he wants to stay in a relationship with me - I need to feel that I am appreciated and thought about and that I am special to him - although every ten minutes is extremely excessive (not to mention obsessive) - maybe every other day or whenever he calls - but not every ten minutes! That is nuts!)
13) We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to know it.
(* exactly !! right on the money there)
14) If we don't feel loved, we'll start looking elsewhere.
(* VERY true! If I don't feel special or like I am getting the attention and affection I deserve, then I am outta there! It is very important to me to feel like I am special and wanted. )
15) Don't talk about your ex. Ever.
(* not true - it is ok to talk about the ex - I would like to know what went wrong so maybe I can avoid making the same mistake - talking about her excessively, however, is NOT ok)
16) We like porn, too.
(yep! except the ones with girl on girl action - NASTY!)
17) We remember everything about our relationships. Yes, everything.
(* yep - I have a good memory - which is both a good and bad thing)
18) We let you fix things.
(* oh yeah - since I am inept at fixing most things - especially anything automotive)
19) You're sexiest when you're: sweating, driving, shaving, or holding a baby.
(* I agree on all of these but driving - I don't particularly think of driving as being sexy - I would also add smiling and smelling good to the list)
20) We've faked it.
(* yep!)
21) Groping and foreplay are not the same thing.
(* again, yep! I want romance, not just blind lust)
22) While we're on the subject: more foreplay!
(* YES! lol)
23) If we're not having sex it's because: we feel fat; we don't feel very close to you, or we are punishing you for not doing something our way.
(* I agree on the 2nd and 3rd ones ... well on the 3rd one, maybe not for not doing something MY way, but just something bad in general ... but not the first - also add "that time of the month" to the list - lol)
24) We're afraid to meet your mother.
(* not necessarily, unless his mother is a cannibal or something - I would feel a little odd if I was not invited to meet his family or friends if I have been with him for a while - that would be a clue to me that I was not that important to him, or that he was ashamed to be seen with me. )
25) We think you should have already known all this stuff.
(* some of these things, yes ... but I like to retain some of my mystery - things cease to be interesting after you have figured it all out.)
Thursday, April 14, 2005
My head is about to explode...you have been warned
Today was the worst day at work I have had in a while. You know that old saying, "What can go wrong, will go wrong" ? Well, it was very applicable today. The afternoon was not much better than the morning. We got 3 overflow appointments today, so the poor trainees had to work their asses off, but then, that is what a normal day in intake would be like. I just tried my best to keep everyone sane and offered up some humor by telling them that they were just getting a little glimpse into their future at work. This made them laugh, but it was more of a nervous laugh - lol. Poor them. I feel for them. I was new once, too. But, now I am the mentor and am supposed to keep myself grounded and positive, which I usually do a good job of. But, at times, I found myself getting grumpy when people came over to me when I was on my break or at lunch and wanted a question answered. Of course, we got a late overflow appointment at 4:15 today, and it could not be processed in time for the woman to get her food stamp card today, so she will have to pick it up on Monday. Oh well. And then there was a problem with another food stamp card, and I didn't know what was wrong with it, so I asked Lydia, and she told me. It bugs me when I don't know the answer to something. It really does. Hopefully Loraina will be back tomorrow ! (please let her come in to work tomorrow! lol)
If I had any alcohol in the house, I would be drinking some right now, but I don't. But I do have ice cream - hehe.
If I had any alcohol in the house, I would be drinking some right now, but I don't. But I do have ice cream - hehe.
more silly stuff
|
I wonder what exactly makes a porn star cowardly? Fear of choking? Afraid of whips and chains? Hmmmm..... I wonder.....
Any more of this and my head will explode
I used to complain about having no work to do at work. I used to. Now, I am kinda glad I don't, cuz today, so far, has been crazy! My supervisor is out ill, so that leaves me alone with all the new peeps. My old supervisor, Lydia, is here, so she can grant all the expedites, thank goodness. But since the trainees need someone to go with them on their interviews for the time being, I was struggling to figure out some sort of way to either clone myself or cut myself in two so I can be in two places at the same time (since the trainees' interviews were at the same time, OF COURSE!). Luckily, Molly was able to cover Ommar's interview at 8 this morning, but I had to cover both Ommar's and Jose's appointments at 10 - that was a tad difficult. Luckily they both had "easy" clients (by easy, I mean homeless and/or with no income or resources). Then I had to go with Sylvia to her 10:45 appointment, which we didn't get out of til about 12:20. So, I had to take a late lunch. But at least Los Tacos was not busy like it normally is. Now I can finally take a breather . . . whew. What a morning. And it is only 2 pm now. We have an early 7 am staff meeting tomorrow, which means I will have to get my lazy ass out of bed early to be here by 6:30 am at least. I am not even gonna try for 6 am, cuz I know that will never happen! I am NOT a morning person... at all. At least we have casual Fridays :)
Ok...on an off note, what were Americal Idol voters doing last nite? Why was Anthony not in the bottom 3? Why the hell was Bo in the bottom 3? That was total BS. Now, Nadia, yes, needed to go home, but Anthony or Scott surely needed to go home before her. Ugh. I guess I can't complain since I don't vote, but I expected people to have more sense. I guess I overestimated people's intelligence on that one. If anyone deserved to be in the bottom 3, it was Anthony. He is inconsistent and often off-key. Maybe I am a little too into American Idol - lol.
South Park, however, was, as Cartman would say, hella funny. Poor Butters! And you think Cartman's anal probe was bad! Yikes!
Well, things have quieted down a little here at work. We'll see how the rest of the afternoon goes.
Ok...on an off note, what were Americal Idol voters doing last nite? Why was Anthony not in the bottom 3? Why the hell was Bo in the bottom 3? That was total BS. Now, Nadia, yes, needed to go home, but Anthony or Scott surely needed to go home before her. Ugh. I guess I can't complain since I don't vote, but I expected people to have more sense. I guess I overestimated people's intelligence on that one. If anyone deserved to be in the bottom 3, it was Anthony. He is inconsistent and often off-key. Maybe I am a little too into American Idol - lol.
South Park, however, was, as Cartman would say, hella funny. Poor Butters! And you think Cartman's anal probe was bad! Yikes!
Well, things have quieted down a little here at work. We'll see how the rest of the afternoon goes.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Shoes hanging on telephone lines - this I guess is code for "we sell drugs here." - lol - I never knew that til a friend of mine told me, and lo and behold, I was driving to Rite Aid today and saw this
Posted by Hello
Ad Nausea
Just when I thought there could not be a more annoying product spokesman on commercials than the damned Del Taco guy, along came Enzyte guy.
I think he needs some ritalin or something. He is just too darned smiley. If this is what "male enhancement" drugs do to a guy, then please, PLEASE just be happy with your shortness. Don't let this happen to you!
I think he needs some ritalin or something. He is just too darned smiley. If this is what "male enhancement" drugs do to a guy, then please, PLEASE just be happy with your shortness. Don't let this happen to you!
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
People I can do without:
- People who whistle cowboy songs at a funeral.
- Anyone who refers to Charles Manson as "Chuck."
- A girl whose wallet contains nude photos of Sam Donaldson or Yassir Arafat.
- A priest with an eyepatch and a limp who's selling pieces of the cross.
Wednesday morning
I was driving to work this morning, and was stopped at a stoplight, when I noticed the crossing guard walking a little girl across the street in the crosswalk. I couldn't help but to think that being a crossing guard must be one of the worst jobs in the world. First of all, it has got to be boring. I mean, you have to sit and wait for a kid to come along to give you something to do. And you have to be there whether it is raining, snowing, hot or cold. Secondly, it is a dangerous job. Think about it. A crossing guard's job is basically to put himself in harm's way so a kid can cross the street "safely." Basically, this means that you are there to get hit by the car instead of the kid. You would be a bigger target after all. I wouldn't rely on your whistle and stop sign to get people to stop. I have seen plenty of cars just go through a regular stop sign and not stop. I don't think the same drivers are going to stop just because there is a person in the crosswalk holding up a stop sign. Heck, they rarely stop to let a person cross the street in the crosswalk. Nope, not a job that I would care to have. Don't want to get run over today, thank you very much.
I read that that woman who supposedly found a fingertip in Wendy's chili is not going to sue, and that she was being investigated because she has filed so many lawsuits in the past already. Looks like she may have planted the fingertip in the chili herself so she could sue, which leaves one to wonder where the heck the finger came from! Yuck.
I thought that maybe the Britney Spears being pregnant story was all a really bad dream, but then I just read it again and see that it is true...sadly true. What was the girl thinking marrying that loser? And now she is going to have a kid with him? She should have stuck with her dogs for the time being.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Pamela Anderson is getting a new tv show. I smell a, pardon the pun, ratings bust.
I also read that some pharmacists are not filling prescriptions for birth control pills and "morning after" pills, because of their "religious convictions." All I know is, if that I went to the pharmacy and they told me I couldn't have my birth control pills because they "morally objected" to their use, I would be pissed ! What right do they have to deny someone that? That would be like a grocer not allowing an adult to buy beer or cigarettes, because they don't approve of their use. Or a pharmacist not wanting to fill a pain killer prescription because they believe pain is good for you. Good lord! What is this world coming to? Maybe I should not come to work because I morally object to the concept of work. HA! Let's see how that flies - lol. If these people do not want to fill prescriptions, then maybe they should find another job.
I read that that woman who supposedly found a fingertip in Wendy's chili is not going to sue, and that she was being investigated because she has filed so many lawsuits in the past already. Looks like she may have planted the fingertip in the chili herself so she could sue, which leaves one to wonder where the heck the finger came from! Yuck.
I thought that maybe the Britney Spears being pregnant story was all a really bad dream, but then I just read it again and see that it is true...sadly true. What was the girl thinking marrying that loser? And now she is going to have a kid with him? She should have stuck with her dogs for the time being.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Pamela Anderson is getting a new tv show. I smell a, pardon the pun, ratings bust.
I also read that some pharmacists are not filling prescriptions for birth control pills and "morning after" pills, because of their "religious convictions." All I know is, if that I went to the pharmacy and they told me I couldn't have my birth control pills because they "morally objected" to their use, I would be pissed ! What right do they have to deny someone that? That would be like a grocer not allowing an adult to buy beer or cigarettes, because they don't approve of their use. Or a pharmacist not wanting to fill a pain killer prescription because they believe pain is good for you. Good lord! What is this world coming to? Maybe I should not come to work because I morally object to the concept of work. HA! Let's see how that flies - lol. If these people do not want to fill prescriptions, then maybe they should find another job.
News you wish wasn't true
This is absolutely disgusting. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce !
Woman Accused of Trading Daughter for Car
OKEECHOBEE, Fla. (AP) - A woman was arrested for allegedly forcing her 12-year-old daughter into prostitution and trading a 14-year-old daughter for a car. The 39-year-old woman was charged with aggravated child abuse and sexual performance by a child. Both girls have been turned over to the Department of Children & Families. The youngest girl and her mother were living out of their car, and would sell sex for food and an occasional shower at the men's homes, according to a report by Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office Detective K.J. Ammons. The youngest daughter is three months pregnant, the report said; she was 11 when her mother first forced her to have sex with a man. The older daughter refused to be a prostitute and was allegedly sold for a car.
"She was sold to a man for a Mercury Cougar,'' Ammons said. "But he never gave the mother the vehicle.'' He was arrested in the case.
The youngest girl told detectives her mother took them out of school. "She said she was a good student and made A's and B's, and all she wants to do is go back to school,'' he said.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
American Idol
Tonite's show just wrapped up. If I were a judge, I would sum up each performance like this:
Nadia - ho-hum
Bo - awesome
Anwar - fabulous
Anthony - so-so
Vonzelle - outstanding
Scott - uck
Carrie - amazing
Constantine - ugh
My bottom 3: Scott, Anthony, Constantine
Who's going home? Scott
And that's my opinion.
Nadia - ho-hum
Bo - awesome
Anwar - fabulous
Anthony - so-so
Vonzelle - outstanding
Scott - uck
Carrie - amazing
Constantine - ugh
My bottom 3: Scott, Anthony, Constantine
Who's going home? Scott
And that's my opinion.
My favorite band
Now, normally, I am a metal/hard rock/alternative kind of girl, but I love Buffalo Tom. They are more of a folk/rock kind of band. I just love their lyrics, and the music goes really well with the lyrics. I listen to their cd's and never get bored with them. Unlike today's pop bands, their lyrics are more than just about love or hanging out at the corner store. This song is one of my favorites:
Would not be released
Would not be released
Could not be denied
I tried to say the words
But got tripped up inside
You can murder them with guns
Poison them with lye
You can take a person's life
But you can't squelch his pride
This city's not my own
This world is not my home
But I'll carry it on my back
As far as my feet will roam
I opened up my eyes
I offered up my coat
I opened up my mouth
But knots tied in my throat
And I will not be denied
Will not be denied
If not for innocence
My guilt would stop right here
Reliving all my life
In the span of just one year
My mouth's a hurricane
But something inside just died
I'd always just assumed
My evil would subside
Could I have been misled
Could you have misread
Please don't punish me
For things I have not said
The last's a lonely mile
I'll remember it for a while
You'll never speak to me
Unless it's to revile
But I will not be denied
Will not be denied
Will not be denied
Will not be denied
Denied
Denied
© 1993 Scrawny Music, BMI
Almost time to go home for the day
It is nearly 5 o'clock, which means it is almost time to go home for the day. I wish I got off at 5, but I am here til 5:30 (more grumbling). We had training today, which was boring, and the room was hot. Felt like the heater was on (grumble grumble). I sat here at my desk and did my bills, which induced more grumbling, but at least they are done....for this month. Now I have to go to the bank after work and take my car payment in, since I was sick and couldn't do it yesterday (grumble). Then I have to go to the grocery store (grumbling very loud), which I HATE to do. I am still grumpy cuz I am not feeling all that well, thus the grumbling. Normally, I don't grumble all day long...just in the mornings. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Oh yeah. I just read that Britney Spears confirmed that she is, indeed, preggers. So much for all her hating on the media, since this time they got it right. Be on the lookout for Cheeto-flavored baby food coming to a local grocery store near you. Let's just hope it's not a boy...he'll be wearing a "Pimp" sweatshirt in no time.
Oh yeah. I just read that Britney Spears confirmed that she is, indeed, preggers. So much for all her hating on the media, since this time they got it right. Be on the lookout for Cheeto-flavored baby food coming to a local grocery store near you. Let's just hope it's not a boy...he'll be wearing a "Pimp" sweatshirt in no time.
I love this necklace
Baby time !
Cyndi's baby is due . . .
Cyndi's baby is due soon! Hope they have picked a name by now - hehe
Alicia is having a baby girl!
Alicia's baby, Alana Danielle, will be here soon!
California Driving
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard.
This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in California, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and driver's test solely for the California area.
2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ___________________
Stage Name:__________________
Agent: ___________________
Attorney:____________________
Therapist's Name: _________________
Sex:
[ ] Male
[ ] Female*
[ ] Formerly Male
[ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to
safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________
(Use extra pages, if necessary)
Please check hair color:
Females:
[ ] Blonde
[ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers:
[ ] Red
[ ] Orange
[ ] Green
[ ] Purple
[ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead
[ ] Other ___________
Please check activities you perform while driving:
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading
Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your
car on the news in a high- speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per
week: ________
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.
When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.
Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn
Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge
This is a new Exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in California, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special Application and driver's test solely for the California area.
2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ___________________
Stage Name:__________________
Agent: ___________________
Attorney:____________________
Therapist's Name: _________________
Sex:
[ ] Male
[ ] Female*
[ ] Formerly Male
[ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to
safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________
(Use extra pages, if necessary)
Please check hair color:
Females:
[ ] Blonde
[ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers:
[ ] Red
[ ] Orange
[ ] Green
[ ] Purple
[ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead
[ ] Other ___________
Please check activities you perform while driving:
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading
Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your
car on the news in a high- speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone company for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per
week: ________
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.
When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.
Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn
Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge
Happy birthday, grandma Lorene
Happy birthday to my grandma, who turns 88 years young today. Happy birthday!!
Famous people who share my grandma's birthday:
David Letterman
Herbie Hancock
Ed O'Neil
David Cassidy
Andy Garcia
Vince Gill
Shannen Doherty
Claire Danes
Today feels like a Monday
Even though it is Tuesday, it feels like a Monday, probably because I was out sick yesterday. I am still feeling kind of sick, but definitely not as bad as I was yesterday. At least I can sit up and breathe out of my nose. It's those little things we take for granted that, when we get them back, we really appreciate. I do appreciate breathing...very much!
I had the typical commute to work...slow, slow, slow. Traffic was backed up on the Ming offramp, and I expected it to be bad when I got to the 58, but it wasn't bad there at all. It typically is pretty jammed up there. The drive was slow, but uneventful. So far, so good. When I got to work, I walked up to the door and the danged thing was locked. Bad mood already beginning. The building opens at 7:30 and I got there about 7:35 (a few minutes late, but oh well - lol), so the door should have been open. Grumble, grumble. So I walked around to the other door and got in that way. It is not a good thing to be put in a bad mood that early. Normally, it wouldn't bother me, but I am still feeling sick, so any additional walking is just plain irritating to me - lol.
My phone is messed up. I pickup the receiver and there is no dial tone, yet people can call in and I can get messages on my answering machine. But when I pick up the phone to answer it...nothing. Weird. That means I have to call SBC and find out what's up with it. More grumbling.
There is a leak in my roof. Well not MY roof. It is the apartment's roof. It is not actually leaking into my bedroom, but every time it rains, I can hear the rain drops hitting the ceiling...drip, drip, drip. Just like a leaky faucet overhead. Guess I will need to call the landlord. More grumbling.
There is also a leak in the toilet. Add that to the landlord's list. More grumbling.
I read in the news that some kid robbed a grave and stole a head off a corpse. How sick! Even sicker is this...
"Authorities are not sure of the motive of the crime. Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana." ( Strange News - AP).
What is this world coming to?? How disgusting. Can you imagine how the poor man's widow must have felt? Can you imagine how the boy's parents must have felt? Sheesh! I have nothing else to say on that. What more can one say about something like that?
Even more grumbling.
I had the typical commute to work...slow, slow, slow. Traffic was backed up on the Ming offramp, and I expected it to be bad when I got to the 58, but it wasn't bad there at all. It typically is pretty jammed up there. The drive was slow, but uneventful. So far, so good. When I got to work, I walked up to the door and the danged thing was locked. Bad mood already beginning. The building opens at 7:30 and I got there about 7:35 (a few minutes late, but oh well - lol), so the door should have been open. Grumble, grumble. So I walked around to the other door and got in that way. It is not a good thing to be put in a bad mood that early. Normally, it wouldn't bother me, but I am still feeling sick, so any additional walking is just plain irritating to me - lol.
My phone is messed up. I pickup the receiver and there is no dial tone, yet people can call in and I can get messages on my answering machine. But when I pick up the phone to answer it...nothing. Weird. That means I have to call SBC and find out what's up with it. More grumbling.
There is a leak in my roof. Well not MY roof. It is the apartment's roof. It is not actually leaking into my bedroom, but every time it rains, I can hear the rain drops hitting the ceiling...drip, drip, drip. Just like a leaky faucet overhead. Guess I will need to call the landlord. More grumbling.
There is also a leak in the toilet. Add that to the landlord's list. More grumbling.
I read in the news that some kid robbed a grave and stole a head off a corpse. How sick! Even sicker is this...
"Authorities are not sure of the motive of the crime. Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana." ( Strange News - AP).
What is this world coming to?? How disgusting. Can you imagine how the poor man's widow must have felt? Can you imagine how the boy's parents must have felt? Sheesh! I have nothing else to say on that. What more can one say about something like that?
Even more grumbling.
Funny Quote
"Our belly buttons aren't pretty and we can't dance.
All we can do is sing and play these instruments."
-Don Henley of the Eagles, comparing his aging band to the likes
of Britney Spears during a concert in New York, quoted in the New York Post.
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"There are only two places in the world: over here and over there."
"I'm starting a camapign to have Finland removed as a country. We don't need it."
"I'm starting a camapign to have Finland removed as a country. We don't need it."
Monday, April 11, 2005
This week on South Park . . .
Butters sees a ghost in an all new episode of "South Park".
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead in an all-new episode of “South Park,” entitled “The Death Of Eric Cartman,” premiering Wednesday, April 13 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central.
Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.
Something I have been thinking about
Seems like all the astronomers wonder where the end of the universe is. But what I wanna know, is where the beginning of the universe is?
Ahhhh chooooo
I had a great weekend. Went bowling on Saturday night. Chris beat me in both games (of course)...Game 1....Chris 98, me 95...Game 2...Chris 187, me 119. I had fun, even though I lost both times - lol. We took a drive to Guadalupe on a road I had never been on before and went down to the sand dunes. The waves were really rough, and there weren't any surfers there, but there were quite a few fishermen. Then we went to Pismo Beach and Shell Beach on Sunday. The weather was beautiful, all was nice and sunny, but a touch on the cold side. We went out to breakfast and then walked along the pier on Pismo Beach and watched the surfers, and a few seals that were swimming in the waves. A sea otter was swimming right below us and was busy trying to get his lunch open. You could hear the sound of him slamming the shell on the rock on his stomach. Pretty clever animals, those otters. It was so cute.
Took a drive to Shell Beach, too, and stopped along the road to watch the ocean for a bit. The water makes such a loud noise as the waves crash onto the shore. It is so easy to see why people in earlier times thought that the ocean was the end of the earth. It looks like it goes on forever.
Later, we went to Boomers and played some Skee Ball and then went mini golfing. I hadn't been mini golfing in about 2 years. This was my 2nd time ever playing (the 1st time I went, oh my gosh...I did horrible - lol). I actually got a hole in one on one hole. I was amazed. Chris was amazed. The people behind us were amazed - lol. I had a lot of fun, even though I lost. Losing seems to be something I am good at - hehe. After that, we went and got ice cream at Cold Stone. I had this concoction called Birthday Cake something Remix - it was soooo yummy!!! You can check out Cold Stone at http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/secondary/creation.asp. It was very sweet, but ...wow. lol
Yeah, it was a great weekend. But as it was getting later last nite, I knew I was coming down with something. I didn't end up leaving Santa Maria til after 10 pm. I was really tired and starting to get all stuffed up. By the time I got home, I was completely stuffed up, to the point where I could not even breathe through my nose (I was sneezing all the way home). I could not sleep last nite because of the itch in my throat and I was coughing, so I stayed home today and slept most of the day. I am still all stuffy and achey (I think my brother gave me his cold! ugh!), but feeling better...finally! At least I have all this candy and stuff that Chris gave me for my birthday - mmm ....caramel!! Gotta love the caramel! So, here I am....sucking on throat drops and drinking juice, coughing and blowing my nose. But, at least I had a good weekend. Kinda makes it all seem better :)
As you see, I am not good at mini golf - but I did get a hole in one on the 11th hole - hehehehe
Posted by Hello
Chris bowling - he got a strike on this one - final score in the 2nd game...Chris 187, me 119 - lol
Posted by Hello
Friday, April 08, 2005
Where did this rain come from? ? ?
As I sit here, it is pouring outside. Nowhere in the forecast did it say anything about rain! Of course, since I figured it would not rain today (after all the weather report said nothing about rain! lol), I washed my car. And now it is raining. UGH! I can't win! At least my car is parked under a carport, so that provides some rain protection, but not much when the wind is blowing the rain all over the place. Oh well. At least it looked clean for a few hours. At least the rain has died down now.
My flowers are still alive (everbody say YAY! lol).
Went to visit my parents today. My brother is sick. He's probably hacking up one of his lungs right now as I speak. Poor Mark. Poor, poor Mark.
I am going out of town tomorrow to the coast. I hope it is not raining tomorrow - lol.
It is pouring outside again. When will this rain stop???
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought
it was one of those things that would happen to someone else."
I will never understand why some people would think that this looks cool - this car was parked in my work's parking lot by the way
Posted by Hello
What is wrong with American Idol voters? Why was Anthony not in the bottom 3? What were they thinking putting Vonzell down there?? Now, Nikko and Scott, I agree with, but not Vonzell. I am glad she stayed, because if she had gone home, I would have been pissed. At least Nikko went home and not someone like Carrie or Bo. I still say Anthony should have been sent packing, and I am not alone in my opinion, but oh well. America has spoken (haha).
I was watching The Daily Show last nite, and they revisited this kid who they had previously did a story on about him wanting to play football, but his head was too big for a helmet, so he couldn't play. Funny, right? Well, I was talking to someone on the phone at the time (whose name will remain unsaid in order to preserve his reputation as a cool dude - hehe), and he told me that when he first played football in school, he was given a helmet and pads, and he put them on. All good so far. When his mom came to pick him up, she was going to take him to Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and when he got in the car, his helmet was still on. She asked him to take it off, and he responded, "I can't." Seems the helmet was too small and it got stuck on his head. After about a half an hour of pulling on it and a few tablespoons of Crisco, they finally got it off. I was laughing soooo hard, because I could just picture it so clearly in my head....a mom, Crisco, a helmet, a scared kid, and a lot of determination. You just can't make this stuff up!!! Truth is so much funnier than fiction. (sorry....I HAD to tell this ... it was just too funny!!!)
I was watching The Daily Show last nite, and they revisited this kid who they had previously did a story on about him wanting to play football, but his head was too big for a helmet, so he couldn't play. Funny, right? Well, I was talking to someone on the phone at the time (whose name will remain unsaid in order to preserve his reputation as a cool dude - hehe), and he told me that when he first played football in school, he was given a helmet and pads, and he put them on. All good so far. When his mom came to pick him up, she was going to take him to Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and when he got in the car, his helmet was still on. She asked him to take it off, and he responded, "I can't." Seems the helmet was too small and it got stuck on his head. After about a half an hour of pulling on it and a few tablespoons of Crisco, they finally got it off. I was laughing soooo hard, because I could just picture it so clearly in my head....a mom, Crisco, a helmet, a scared kid, and a lot of determination. You just can't make this stuff up!!! Truth is so much funnier than fiction. (sorry....I HAD to tell this ... it was just too funny!!!)
My computer here at work has been a pain in the ass lately. It takes forever to open any Word or Excel documents, and now it has seemed to spread to my neighbor's computer, too. Just one more thing to gripe about. Speaking of griping, I read some of the most ridiculous stuff that people are griping about at work on my email. Every once in a while, they email everyone out "Suggestions" (which is really just a long complaint list). One person complained about perfumes, saying that no one should wear them because some people have allergies. What they really said is "can you stress the importance of being 'fragrance free'?" Ok....now, I, for one, hate it when people come in smelling like they took a bath in cologne. But, as long as a person has a light fragrance on, it is fine. There is NO way a person can be completely fragrance free. If that were the case, they could not even wear deoderant. I don't know about you, but I would not like to be smelling that "au naturale" kind of fragrance all day long. And even if you had a so-called "fragrance free" workplace, you could not force the clients to abide by that rule. People need to be more realistic in their "suggestions." Also mentioned was the importance of washing your hands after using the restroom, but that is common sense. Apparently someone has been observing people leaving the bathroom without washing their hands. While I am sure this happens, I don't think we need the "bathroom police" watching every move we make (bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when you have to poo?)
Today is Thursday....thank the lord! 3-day weekend is only hours away. Yippeeee!
Violence in the workplace is strongly recommended
every once in a while, I will get a really funny email . . . this is a good one - hehe
Slap Your Co-Worker Day!!
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:
Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last
nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about?
Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for
you?
Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their
mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?
Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room,
everyone else clears it?
Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce
tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!
There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!
Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Human beings are kind of interesting from birth until they reach the age of a year and a half. Then they are boring until they reach fifty. By that time they're either completely defeated and screwed up, which makes them interesting again, or they've learned how to beat the game, and that makes them interesting too."
Feeling jaded in the afternoon
I am growing weary of doing crossword puzzles and playing Inspector Parker everyday. I need something to entertain me or challenge me. They are moving Pam to where Veronica sat, and pretty soon, I will be all alone here in this cubicle, with no one to talk to. I will probably start talking to myself, and maybe then they will give me another neighbor, just to keep me sane.
The afternoon is dragging. Just had lunch and I am already tired and ready for a nap. I keep telling everyone they need to have nap time after lunch, but nobody listens. Maybe I should bring a pillow to work and just lay my head on the desk and take a nap, and if anyone says anything, I will say that I am on a break. Seems like a good enough idea. But then, what if I have a nightmare and wake up screaming. Would they consider that a hostile work environment? Someone would probably have a heart attack and try to sue me for "emotional distress," knowing some people. Everyone is sue-happy these days.
I read that Ms Wheelchair was stripped of her crown because, get this, she was photographed standing up. Good lord! You would think they would be praising her for being able to stand, but instead they are punishing her. She said she can only walk for maybe 50 feet on a good day, and can stand up to teach her class, but that is it. Apparently, that is not disabled enough to become "Ms Wheelchair." I guess to take that crown you can't have any legs or arms, be blind, deaf and dumb. I say, more power to her. She is not letting her disability keep her down, and that is what they should be encouraging. Instead they are punishing her for not being completely down and out. Maybe they should come up with a "Ms Wheelchair-Dependant-But-Can-Stand-Up-From-Time-to-Time" crown. In fact, let's come up with a pageant for all those people who are disabled. Like, for instance, Mr Crutches, or Ms Walker, or Mr All American Amputee. But just make sure all the contestants go through a rigorous screening process to make sure they NEED walkers or crutches and are actually "disabled" enough to qualify. (I am being sarcastic, of course - lol)
I read that in Salinas, CA, the public libraries are in danger of being closed down. Apparently, in Salinas reading is not important. I guess the mayor decided that illiteracy is the way to go from now on. Instead of cutting funds from elsewhere, they are gonna cut it out of, of course, arts and literature. Seems like anything regarding art, literature or music is expendable nowadays. It is a shame, and it is also ironic, that a place so well-known for being the birthplace of John Steinbeck, a famous author, would be losing its libraries. I guess they will have to make a John Steinbeck Pipe Shop or a John Steinbeck Bowling Alley in order to continue his legacy. I remember going to the John Steinbeck Library on a field trip when I was a kid. And now it looks like it is headed for extinction.
Looks like someone actually needs my help today, so I may actually get to do some work. I need some before my brain turns to jell-o. I liked this no caseload stuff at first....it was a nice, and needed break, but now I get bored, which is probably why I write so much in this blog. I feel for Veronica over at KMC who has no internet. Poor her. She must be going crazy.
At least South Park is on tonite :) On tonite's episode....
Episode 905 : A winning season and overzealous parents threaten to ruin the entire summer, when the boys of South Park head to the State Championship in an all new episode of South Park entitled “The Losing Edge,” premiering Wednesday, April 6 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. The kids desperately want an end to the boring baseball season. The problem is they’ve won so many games that now they’re in the playoffs. Just one loss would mean the season’s finished and they’d be free from America’s favorite pastime for the entire summer.
The afternoon is dragging. Just had lunch and I am already tired and ready for a nap. I keep telling everyone they need to have nap time after lunch, but nobody listens. Maybe I should bring a pillow to work and just lay my head on the desk and take a nap, and if anyone says anything, I will say that I am on a break. Seems like a good enough idea. But then, what if I have a nightmare and wake up screaming. Would they consider that a hostile work environment? Someone would probably have a heart attack and try to sue me for "emotional distress," knowing some people. Everyone is sue-happy these days.
I read that Ms Wheelchair was stripped of her crown because, get this, she was photographed standing up. Good lord! You would think they would be praising her for being able to stand, but instead they are punishing her. She said she can only walk for maybe 50 feet on a good day, and can stand up to teach her class, but that is it. Apparently, that is not disabled enough to become "Ms Wheelchair." I guess to take that crown you can't have any legs or arms, be blind, deaf and dumb. I say, more power to her. She is not letting her disability keep her down, and that is what they should be encouraging. Instead they are punishing her for not being completely down and out. Maybe they should come up with a "Ms Wheelchair-Dependant-But-Can-Stand-Up-From-Time-to-Time" crown. In fact, let's come up with a pageant for all those people who are disabled. Like, for instance, Mr Crutches, or Ms Walker, or Mr All American Amputee. But just make sure all the contestants go through a rigorous screening process to make sure they NEED walkers or crutches and are actually "disabled" enough to qualify. (I am being sarcastic, of course - lol)
I read that in Salinas, CA, the public libraries are in danger of being closed down. Apparently, in Salinas reading is not important. I guess the mayor decided that illiteracy is the way to go from now on. Instead of cutting funds from elsewhere, they are gonna cut it out of, of course, arts and literature. Seems like anything regarding art, literature or music is expendable nowadays. It is a shame, and it is also ironic, that a place so well-known for being the birthplace of John Steinbeck, a famous author, would be losing its libraries. I guess they will have to make a John Steinbeck Pipe Shop or a John Steinbeck Bowling Alley in order to continue his legacy. I remember going to the John Steinbeck Library on a field trip when I was a kid. And now it looks like it is headed for extinction.
Looks like someone actually needs my help today, so I may actually get to do some work. I need some before my brain turns to jell-o. I liked this no caseload stuff at first....it was a nice, and needed break, but now I get bored, which is probably why I write so much in this blog. I feel for Veronica over at KMC who has no internet. Poor her. She must be going crazy.
At least South Park is on tonite :) On tonite's episode....
Episode 905 : A winning season and overzealous parents threaten to ruin the entire summer, when the boys of South Park head to the State Championship in an all new episode of South Park entitled “The Losing Edge,” premiering Wednesday, April 6 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. The kids desperately want an end to the boring baseball season. The problem is they’ve won so many games that now they’re in the playoffs. Just one loss would mean the season’s finished and they’d be free from America’s favorite pastime for the entire summer.
Funny sh*t
I was browsing thru some blogs, and came across this one ... http://waiterrant.blogspot.com/
you have to read the "Hippie Faux Pass" entry from April 4, 2005. It is hilarious!!
you have to read the "Hippie Faux Pass" entry from April 4, 2005. It is hilarious!!
More reasons I HATE SPAM!
Of course, this morning, my bulk mailbox was full of this kind of crap . . .
Platinum Romance
Warning Sexually Explicit - We Bring People Together
(good for you - bet your mom is proud)
Survey Rewards
Give us your opinion and be rewarded
(you want my opinion? Ok.... in my opinion, this is a waste of perfectly good email space - now where is my reward???)
Hydroderm
Get rid of wrinkles with no injections
(ummm I know I just had a birthday....you don't have to bring out the wrinkle topic just yet though)
Lawanda Bouchard
I saw your sister
(that's nice....I don't even have a sister, you moron)
IQ Challenge
How close are you to being a genius
(close enough to know not to open this sh*t)
Corey
She wants to meet you
(sorry....I am straight)
Student Loan Department
Your Federal Student Loan Payments
(I don't even have a student loan)
Kitty Biz
Secret Divorce Planning for Men
(I am a woman!)
Kitchen Appliance Giveaway
Claim your Complimentary Brand Name Kithcen Appiances
(good lord....if you are gonna send out an email to everyone, make sure you get someone who can SPELL!) *no, I did not alter the spelling in any way - this is how it came to me.
Student Loan Department
Your Federal Student Loan Payments
(didn't I already say that I don't have a student loan?????)
....still waiting for that reward......waiting............waiting.........
Platinum Romance
Warning Sexually Explicit - We Bring People Together
(good for you - bet your mom is proud)
Survey Rewards
Give us your opinion and be rewarded
(you want my opinion? Ok.... in my opinion, this is a waste of perfectly good email space - now where is my reward???)
Hydroderm
Get rid of wrinkles with no injections
(ummm I know I just had a birthday....you don't have to bring out the wrinkle topic just yet though)
Lawanda Bouchard
I saw your sister
(that's nice....I don't even have a sister, you moron)
IQ Challenge
How close are you to being a genius
(close enough to know not to open this sh*t)
Corey
She wants to meet you
(sorry....I am straight)
Student Loan Department
Your Federal Student Loan Payments
(I don't even have a student loan)
Kitty Biz
Secret Divorce Planning for Men
(I am a woman!)
Kitchen Appliance Giveaway
Claim your Complimentary Brand Name Kithcen Appiances
(good lord....if you are gonna send out an email to everyone, make sure you get someone who can SPELL!) *no, I did not alter the spelling in any way - this is how it came to me.
Student Loan Department
Your Federal Student Loan Payments
(didn't I already say that I don't have a student loan?????)
....still waiting for that reward......waiting............waiting.........
funny, but true, joke
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
out to some place expensive...................
So I took her to a gas station.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Mario Kart rocks!
Just for the record, I got 1st place in Mario Kart tonite. I rock, mo-fo's! lol ..... yeah, I know it's a small accomplishment, but, as I always say, "anything worth doing is worth doing right." ;)
Thanks to all my friends for the birthday gifts, phone calls and cards, and most of all, for just being my friend. I love you guys!!!
Posted by Hello
Showtunes!
It was "showtunes" night on American Idol. Carrie was fantastic, as were Anwar and Vonzelle. I liked Constantine tonite, too. Bo, however, who I usually like, sucked, but then, this was not his element so I forgive him. Anthony was terrible! He needs to go home. I liked him at first, and among contestants of lesser caliber, he stood out. But now, he is overshadowed by much better singers. It is his time to go. I wasn't all that crazy about Nikko's performance either. Nadia was good, but the last part of her song, I felt was a little flat. My bottom 3 would be Anthony, Nikko, and Scott, but judging by the last 2 shows, Nadia will probably be down there again. Anthony is definitely going home. If someone else goes home besides him, Nikko or Scott, I will be pissed. Carrie did an awesome job, even though her song was boring, like the judges said. I hope she wins it all.
A fool and her money are soon parted
I have been noticing lately that I go broke almost as soon as I am paid. And talking to a lot of my women friends, I hear them saying the same thing. True, there are a lot of sales geared towards us women...I have even heard one of my male coworkers complain that there are not enough sales for men, but we still end up spending a ton of money on stuff we need. I am convinced that we women end up having to spend a lot more money on stuff than men do. This is an observation which I have thought about extensively, and while I have no real proof or documentation to back it up, I am almost certain of its validity.
For instance, let's start with clothing. We women have to not only buy everyday things like pants and skirts and shirts, but we also have to buy pantyhose and bras. Men don't have to worry about buying bras (even tho some men obviously NEED them) or pantyhose, unless they are a drag queen or like dressing up in women's clothing, but that is a whole 'nuther story. And besides, they have the option of buying those. We women don't. It is usually mandatory that we wear pantyhose to work when we wear dresses or skirts, and it is always mandatory that we wear bras to work. And bras are not cheap! Some women may be able to shop off the rack at Wal Mart, but some of us who are, let's say, a little more "well-endowed" can't find bras that fit in just any old store, so we must resort to the upper ended stores like Fredericks or Lane Bryant for our bras, and you know you won't be able to find a bra there for less than $20. Plus, we have a lot more clothing options than men do, which every woman knows, every option must be represented in her wardrobe. I am not even gonna go into shoes! Sandals, high heels, loafers, clogs...the list would go on and on. Men have athletic shoes, dress shoes, casuals, and a few sandals, but nothing like the selection that women have. And, yes, every type of shoe must be represented in the woman's closet. I know. I have tons of shoes. You can't wear a pair of track shoes with a dress after all.
Next, there is the hair and makeup category. I went to Target the other day and they had like 5 or 6 aisles devoted just to makeup and about 2 or 3 more for hair products. Now the makeup aisles are geared toward women (maybe men like to wear it, too...who knows). We women love makeup. We do! All those colors to choose from. The possibilities are endless! I love the makeup aisles. There must be some subliminal advertising going on there, cuz I can't resist at least browsing the makeup section in every store I go to. There are eye shadows, blushes, foundations, mascaras, nail polish (oh my gosh, so many nail polishes!), eye liners, etc. Then there are all the other necessities like tweezers, eyelash curlers, nail files, pumice stones, etc. All this stuff to make us purty. There are some hair products for men, but, for the most part, they are also geared toward women. You don't see many men wearing cute hair clips and bows, after all.
Next, we have the toiletries...yeah, the down and dirty part of being a woman. Now, men don't have to buy tampons, maxi pads or pany liners, douche or any of those "good things" unless they are buying them for their wife or girlfriend. No matter what the doctor does to a man to make him a woman, he will never "get" to bleed out of his vagina for 5 days each month (just be thankful you don't - it is not fun!). At anywhere from $3 to $8 a box, tampons and the like can get darned expensive over the long run. Now it is not just "female products" than we women have to buy more of, it is also toilet paper. Men only have to wipe their butts with toilet paper when they ...well, you know (I am not gonna get all graphic or anything), since they can pee standing up. I have never known of any men wiping their penis with toilet paper after they peed. We women, unfortunately, have to pee sitting down (less we make a total mess on the floor and down our legs- gross), so we use twice as much toilet paper as a man.
And then, of course, we have everything else. All these stores have home decorating sections, and you know those sections are mostly frequented by, you guessed it, women. You don't often see a man in the aisle debating over whether to buy the hand-crocheted doilies or the satin placemats, but I guess it happens from time to time. Candles are another area where they get us. We MUST have candles. They all smell so good. It is almost cruel to walk into stores sometimes.
Of course, men have their "things". Like electronics and cars and other big "toys." And while these things may cost a whole lot more than some makeup and tampons, I don't feel sorry for the men at all. It's not like a remote control is gonna get a run in it the first time you use it or anything. And besides, you can take a remote control back if it doesn't work, and you can always buy more batteries. You can't take a pair of nylons back after you get a run in them. God I hate nylons!
So the next time I hear a man complaining that there are not enough sales for men, I am gonna hand him a pair of high heel shoes and make him walk in them for a few minutes, cuz that will be all it takes to get his feet hurting. I think stores having sales for us women is payback for all the crap we have to wear, and for having to pluck our eyebrows, shave our armpits and wax our bikini lines...can you say "ouch?"
For instance, let's start with clothing. We women have to not only buy everyday things like pants and skirts and shirts, but we also have to buy pantyhose and bras. Men don't have to worry about buying bras (even tho some men obviously NEED them) or pantyhose, unless they are a drag queen or like dressing up in women's clothing, but that is a whole 'nuther story. And besides, they have the option of buying those. We women don't. It is usually mandatory that we wear pantyhose to work when we wear dresses or skirts, and it is always mandatory that we wear bras to work. And bras are not cheap! Some women may be able to shop off the rack at Wal Mart, but some of us who are, let's say, a little more "well-endowed" can't find bras that fit in just any old store, so we must resort to the upper ended stores like Fredericks or Lane Bryant for our bras, and you know you won't be able to find a bra there for less than $20. Plus, we have a lot more clothing options than men do, which every woman knows, every option must be represented in her wardrobe. I am not even gonna go into shoes! Sandals, high heels, loafers, clogs...the list would go on and on. Men have athletic shoes, dress shoes, casuals, and a few sandals, but nothing like the selection that women have. And, yes, every type of shoe must be represented in the woman's closet. I know. I have tons of shoes. You can't wear a pair of track shoes with a dress after all.
Next, there is the hair and makeup category. I went to Target the other day and they had like 5 or 6 aisles devoted just to makeup and about 2 or 3 more for hair products. Now the makeup aisles are geared toward women (maybe men like to wear it, too...who knows). We women love makeup. We do! All those colors to choose from. The possibilities are endless! I love the makeup aisles. There must be some subliminal advertising going on there, cuz I can't resist at least browsing the makeup section in every store I go to. There are eye shadows, blushes, foundations, mascaras, nail polish (oh my gosh, so many nail polishes!), eye liners, etc. Then there are all the other necessities like tweezers, eyelash curlers, nail files, pumice stones, etc. All this stuff to make us purty. There are some hair products for men, but, for the most part, they are also geared toward women. You don't see many men wearing cute hair clips and bows, after all.
Next, we have the toiletries...yeah, the down and dirty part of being a woman. Now, men don't have to buy tampons, maxi pads or pany liners, douche or any of those "good things" unless they are buying them for their wife or girlfriend. No matter what the doctor does to a man to make him a woman, he will never "get" to bleed out of his vagina for 5 days each month (just be thankful you don't - it is not fun!). At anywhere from $3 to $8 a box, tampons and the like can get darned expensive over the long run. Now it is not just "female products" than we women have to buy more of, it is also toilet paper. Men only have to wipe their butts with toilet paper when they ...well, you know (I am not gonna get all graphic or anything), since they can pee standing up. I have never known of any men wiping their penis with toilet paper after they peed. We women, unfortunately, have to pee sitting down (less we make a total mess on the floor and down our legs- gross), so we use twice as much toilet paper as a man.
And then, of course, we have everything else. All these stores have home decorating sections, and you know those sections are mostly frequented by, you guessed it, women. You don't often see a man in the aisle debating over whether to buy the hand-crocheted doilies or the satin placemats, but I guess it happens from time to time. Candles are another area where they get us. We MUST have candles. They all smell so good. It is almost cruel to walk into stores sometimes.
Of course, men have their "things". Like electronics and cars and other big "toys." And while these things may cost a whole lot more than some makeup and tampons, I don't feel sorry for the men at all. It's not like a remote control is gonna get a run in it the first time you use it or anything. And besides, you can take a remote control back if it doesn't work, and you can always buy more batteries. You can't take a pair of nylons back after you get a run in them. God I hate nylons!
So the next time I hear a man complaining that there are not enough sales for men, I am gonna hand him a pair of high heel shoes and make him walk in them for a few minutes, cuz that will be all it takes to get his feet hurting. I think stores having sales for us women is payback for all the crap we have to wear, and for having to pluck our eyebrows, shave our armpits and wax our bikini lines...can you say "ouch?"
Who didn't see this coming...
NEW YORK - Pop singer Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline have said "I do" to star in a UPN reality series that documents their courtship, engagement and wedding.
Featuring what UPN bills as "exclusive, never-before-seen private home videos" of their "personal love story," the six-episode series is scheduled to premiere later this season. It picks up shortly after the pair met in Los Angeles and headed to Europe on tour, where Federline performed as a backup dancer for Spears.
UPN is also shooting new footage and commentary with the couple.
They were married last fall, amid much speculation and publicity. More recently, the 23-year-old Spears has lashed out at tabloid magazines for reporting that she is pregnant and that the marriage is on the rocks. (This is her second marriage, following her mere hours-long wedlock in January 2004 to childhood friend Jason Alexander.)
"I feel that last year the tabloids ran my life," said the Grammy Award-winning singer in commenting on her new series, "and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past."
. . . well, it seems Britney and Kevin are gonna have their own show now, following in the footsteps of Jessica Simpson and Nich Lachey. Seems kind of ironic that she would want a reality series based on her when she has been so anti-media lately. I knew this was coming though. After all, Jessica and Nick's show The Newlyweds has been so popular. I will probably tune in once or twice, just to see how stupid this show will be. And I assure you, it will be. They better hope their show airs soon before all of this reality-based tv crap gets played out. I am tired of "reality" tv. If I wanted reality, I would watch the news!
Mornings......ugh
(Nuff said)
Gosh, I hate mornings. When my alarm clock so rudely woke me up this morning, I said something equally rude to it, even tho it is an inanimate object and cannot understand a thing I said, which is probably for the best. It is not the alarm clock's fault. It is just doing its job. As they say, "don't shoot the messenger." I think though, had I had a gun, I probably would have shot that damned clock anyhow. I blame this daylight savings time thing, which has completely ruined my sleeping schedule. I can't seem to go to bed at a decent hour, and waking up at that ungodly time in the morning was bad enough as it was before we "lost" that hour of sleep. I say "lost" because we only lost that hour on Sunday, which was a normal weekend day where I don't have to wake up early anyway. Still, I was so used to waking up at a certain time in the morning, that my body was "trained" to wake up then, and now this whole time change thing has forced me to "re-train." This is going to take some getting used to.
I am sitting here at work, with no real work to do at the moment. I do have a few cases to review, but there are only 2 at the moment, and I don't wanna do them both now. If I do, I will have nothing to do in the afternoon. Maybe I will do a crossword or play some more Inspector Parker, which I seem to be somewhat addicted to. Damned online games!!
Need ...... caffeine......need........sugar.....need.....to.....wake......up....
Monday, April 04, 2005
Late nite last thoughts
Went to Olive Garden tonite for my birthday with my parents. My brother was sick, so he didn't go (which was like a birthday present in and of itself - hehe - just kidding!). It was nice, you know, just me and my parents. Went to Costco and had frozen yogurt, too. MMMMM. Then we went to Ross. Got a new shirt and some sweats, and it was under $20 for both. Now that's what I call shopping! Alicia called to wish me a happy birthday, and said she was gonna get me a basket of Depends, prunes and wrinkle cream - lol - she probably would too! She is a riot. She is gonna be such a good mom. Chris and Veronica also called to wish me a happy birthday. And my brother was actually nice to me today. I feel so special!
Cyndi is due this month. I am gonna be an "aunt" again :) Don't know if she is having a boy or girl yet, but they will find out soon enough! I am secretly hoping it is a girl, cuz she already has a little boy, and every boy needs a sister - lol. (plus there are so many cute clothes for little girls - lol) I hope she and her hubby pick out names soon, cuz the little one is gonna need a name!
Tomorrow is Tuesday. One more day closer to Friday. Must ... stay....optimistic....must! lol
Loraina, my supervisor, had to go to the hospital today cuz of heart problems. Hope she is ok!
I am tired, probably from lack of sleep last nite. Hope I can actually sleep tonite. zzzzzzzz.
Cyndi is due this month. I am gonna be an "aunt" again :) Don't know if she is having a boy or girl yet, but they will find out soon enough! I am secretly hoping it is a girl, cuz she already has a little boy, and every boy needs a sister - lol. (plus there are so many cute clothes for little girls - lol) I hope she and her hubby pick out names soon, cuz the little one is gonna need a name!
Tomorrow is Tuesday. One more day closer to Friday. Must ... stay....optimistic....must! lol
Loraina, my supervisor, had to go to the hospital today cuz of heart problems. Hope she is ok!
I am tired, probably from lack of sleep last nite. Hope I can actually sleep tonite. zzzzzzzz.
Happy birthday to me
Well, I am officially 33 years old today. Ugh. I feel old today, too. I didn't sleep at all last nite. I kept hearing noises and they kept waking me up. I think I got about 2 hours of actual sleep last nite. I am sooooo tired right now. I just ate breakfast and am drinking some water, but I should have gotten something with caffeine in it! My parents are taking me out to dinner tonite for my birthday. They are so nice! I love my parents! I really do. When I was a kid, I thought my parents were so mean, because they gave me curfews and made me do my homework before I went to play. But, now that I look back on it, I am so grateful that they did those things, because I really think they helped to keep me out of trouble. I never had any urge to try drugs or smoke or even touch the guns my dad kept in the house, probably because of what they taught me. I now see that my parents are really cool. But, when you are a teenager, it is decidedly uncool to think your parents are cool - lol.
Seems like just yesterday I was a teenager, and thought that 30 was just ancient. Now, I think that 30 is pretty young. Even 40 seems young to me nowadays - lol. I truly think that age is merely a state of mind....and today, my state of mind is somewhere around 80 - lol
Famous people who share my birthday:
Maya Angelou
Craig T. Nelson
David E. Kelley
Nancy McKeon
Heath Ledger
Christine Lahti
Robert Downey, Jr
Natasha Lyonne
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Carjackings, smash-and-grabs, snipers, home invasions, follow-home robberies, hostage incidents, barricade/standoff situations, drive-by shootings, walk-up shootings, traffic shootings, pipe bombs, mail bombs. We never had cool crimes like that when I was a kid. All we had was robbery and murder. I feel deprived."
funny quote
"I'm not that much of a ladies' man. Romantic things people do - like putting candles around the house - I see that as more of a fire hazard."
-- Actor Jimmy Fallon in the New York Daily News.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
too funny - found these while I was going thru my stuff tonite. I got C's (and C-'s) in handwriting...."at least she is consistant"....hmmm ....consistently messy I guess - lol - this is from my 6th grade report card - by the way, my teacher misspelled "consistent." - ha ha
Posted by Hello
this is the hill we used to climb up when we were kids - we had the most awesome fort on the top - lol - it was fun to sled down, too.
Posted by Hello
the blooming mountains - too bad it was kinda hazy today - woulda been a prettier pic
Posted by Hello
Easy like Sunday morning
Had a great day today. Slept in til almost 11 (since I stayed up til 3 am last nite/this morning), and yes I remembered to set my clocks ahead (my watch too). Had lunch at Sequoia's with Veronica today. Had a Hot Roast Beef sandwich with cole slaw. It was yummm. Veronica gave me my birthday gift early, as she will be out of town tomorrow (lucky her - lol). I got a cute photo album, a "paint by numbers masterpiece" thing (it is so cute), where you can paint 2 paintings ("Mona Lisa" and Munch's "The Scream") by numbers, and a little water globe that is soooo cute. I love them! (Thank you Veronica!!!) I got my birthday package from Cyndi on Friday. I got this incredible-smelling candle (Mango Tea/Ginger-Peach from Pier One), a gift card to Pier One, some lavender/vanilla tea light candles, lavender/vanilla lotion, and this yummmy angel-food cake lip gloss (Thanks Cyndi!) The candle smelled so good, that I got 2 ginger/peach votive candles from Pier One with the gift card and a cute candle holder thing that goes on the wall (like I don't have enough of them already! but I couldn't resist - lol).
After lunch, I took a drive up to Mt Pinos , just to get out of town for a bit. There is still a little bit of snow up there. It was a little hazy, but not too cold, so it was a perfect time to go for a drive. I had to pull over a few times to take some pictures (which I will post once my camera battery finishes charging - hehe). The mountains were all green with patches of gold poppies and purple lupine and yellow (I am not sure what flower those were - lol). It was a lovely day.
Now I am at home, just having finished dinner (which consisted of an artichoke, baked beans and a slice of french bread), and my head is killing me again. I have had headaches a lot lately. I blamed it on PMS (which is over now), and, now, allergies or cold .... whatever it is. I hate headaches. Why must I be tortured so much? lol.
Tomorrow is Monday, which sucks, but if you are an optimist, like I TRY to be, you can see it as one day closer to Friday.
I am getting slightly better at Mario Kart. Made it into 2nd place overall today. Someday I will get first...someday.
Squeakers is out running in her ball, having a good old time, even though she keeps bumping into the walls. I better go check on her, and then wash dishes. Yep, you can say my life is pretty simplistic, but I like it that way ;)
After lunch, I took a drive up to Mt Pinos , just to get out of town for a bit. There is still a little bit of snow up there. It was a little hazy, but not too cold, so it was a perfect time to go for a drive. I had to pull over a few times to take some pictures (which I will post once my camera battery finishes charging - hehe). The mountains were all green with patches of gold poppies and purple lupine and yellow (I am not sure what flower those were - lol). It was a lovely day.
Now I am at home, just having finished dinner (which consisted of an artichoke, baked beans and a slice of french bread), and my head is killing me again. I have had headaches a lot lately. I blamed it on PMS (which is over now), and, now, allergies or cold .... whatever it is. I hate headaches. Why must I be tortured so much? lol.
Tomorrow is Monday, which sucks, but if you are an optimist, like I TRY to be, you can see it as one day closer to Friday.
I am getting slightly better at Mario Kart. Made it into 2nd place overall today. Someday I will get first...someday.
Squeakers is out running in her ball, having a good old time, even though she keeps bumping into the walls. I better go check on her, and then wash dishes. Yep, you can say my life is pretty simplistic, but I like it that way ;)
Chappelle Show - Rick James
FreeVideoCodes.com
Press "play" (the right pointing arrow for those who are computer illiterate - lol) to view
...it is funny!
Press "play" (the right pointing arrow for those who are computer illiterate - lol) to view
...it is funny!
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