Stupid News Story of The Day

(This is one of the reasons why I always use those toilet seat covers.)

Wal-Mart Worker Finds Man Glued to Toilet

SALISBURY, Md. - A 20-year-old was found by a Wal-Mart employee in the bathroom Sunday night after he sat down and was glued to the toilet seat.

The man, whose name was not released by police, was taken to the hospital late Sunday night, said Lt. Cheryl Rantz of the Salisbury Police Department.

"The man had gone into the bathroom and sat down," she said. "He was banging on the wall when the employee came in."

Rantz said the man was treated and released.

Just when you thought it was safe ...

I went to the dentist this afternoon to get my fillings polished. Basically, it just means to make em purtier and more comfortable. No shots required. Takes a few minutes. No big thang. HA!! Well, it turns out the dentist missed doing a filling so I have to go back in tomorrow morning at 9:30 and get yet another filling done. GRRRRRRRR. This dentist thing is neverending!

What part of "illegal" do you not understand?

Ok. So yesterday was this supposed huge boycott, some call "A Day Without an Immigrant." I really didn't see much of an effect here in town, except for a few businesses closed (Los Tacos, I hate you) and a few cars displaying a Mexico flag (I also saw some cars with a US flag on them, too though). So, what's the deal? Personally, I have no problem with immigration, provided it is done LEGALLY. (hello...what part of ILLEGAL do you not get??) If you are going to come here to America and expect all of these benefits, then do it right...do it legally. People who come here illegally and expect to get benefits and then threaten to do harm to the country and the country's ecomony if they don't get their way should be packed up and sent back to their native country. I don't care if you're Mexican, Irish, German, Indian......whatever. Respect the laws of the country and represent the country you live in or get the hell out. I am positive that if I went over to Germany and demanded to be given benefits and to be treated like a German citizen, they would laugh in my face and probably put me in jail, and then deport me. There are reasons we have laws and reasons we have a process for immigrants to go thru to become legal....anyone heard of 9/11 ?? I just don't understand what right these illegal immigrants have to protest when they are here ILLEGALLY. (again....the word is ILLEGAL - look it up). I have no problem with legal permanent residents or persons who have begun the process to become legal. I say, "way to go." I give major props to anyone who has become a naturalized US citizen. That test is tough (lol). But I have no sympathy for people who are not making some sort of attempt to gain legal immigrant status, and who are sitting around expecting the US to grant them benefits and welfare and give them driver's licenses and all of the other benefits that the legal immigrants and US citizens have worked to have.

I know, some people are gonna hate me for saying that or think that I am some sort of racist or something. But to anyone who knows me, I am not a racist. I am far from it. I just think that anyone who breaks the law should be punished. And people who are here illegally have broken the law and should be given no rights. As they say, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." I didn't write the laws, but I respect them. And anyone who lives in this country or wants to come to this country should do the same.
There. My rant is done.

Caption This

Tim Jones and Art Jenkins demonstrate the newest trend in animal sports, "Dog-O-War."

post your own funny caption in a comment if you would like.

Phobia of The Day

Gephyrophobia: fear of crossing bridges

Random Fact of The Day

Construction on San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge took 4 years and 3 months to complete. It was started in January 1933 and finished in April 1937.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

A Commencement Address to the College Class of 2006

"This is your big day - the day when you jam four years' worth of unlaundered underwear into a Hefty bag and leave college, prepared by your professors to go out into the Real World. The first thing you'll notice is that your professors did not go out there with you. They're not stupid; that's why they're professors. They've figured out that college is a carefree place where the most serious problem is finding a legal parking space. So your professors are going to stay in college until they die. Even then, they'll go right on teaching classes. This is called 'tenure.'"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(If it's yellow, let it mellow.)

London mayor Livingstone in no rush to flush

LONDON (AFP) - London mayor Ken Livingstone has lifted the lid on his toilet habits, revealing he has not flushed the loo in 15 months.

Livingstone said there was "no earthly reason" to bother if there was just urine in the bowl, he said Tuesday.

He said people were misguided about what urine actually is -- and said bluebottles steer well clear of his.

The mayor flushed out any misconceptions and tried to spark a chain reaction as he urged Londoners to waste less water when getting rid of their own waste.

"Red Ken" said it was all based on the old adage "if it's yellow, let it mellow" and advised gardeners to fill up a bucket and hurl it on the plants as the region around London suffers its worst drought for a century.

"If we continue to waste the amount of water that we do, London will run out of water," Livingstone, 61, told The Independent newspaper.

"A third of all the water you use you flush down the loo, and actually there is no earthly reason that you need to flush the loo if you have merely urinated. That's a huge saving of water.

"The experiment in my home, which is now into its second year, has been a success. We continues with it right through the summer and never once did a great bluebottle come into the bathroom.

"After all, why would a bluebottle with to slurp up a little bit of nitrogenous waste? It has no nutritional value at all. It's just that people have a perception that their urine is some sort of liquid form of their excreta.

"A lot of gardeners put their urine in a bucket and actually use it. Plant roots love it."

Happy birthday Arlene!

"Arlene, you may be another year older, but just say:




(did I spell anything wrong this time, Spell Check Nazi??? hehe)

I got a clock!!!

Well, over the weekend I went to Las Vegas. Not to gamble, but to sight-see. I checked out Valley of Fire State Park, Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area, Kyle Canyon/Spring Mountain area, Lake Mead, and the Hoover Dam. I posted pics and a narration on my other blog. Click HERE to check it out. Valley of Fire State Park was just awesome. The rocks and hikes and wildflowers were amazing! But, I don't think it is a place that anyone with my whiter-than-white skin should visit after mid-April, unless you douse yourself with SPF 200 sunscreen. It was HOT! After I got home yesterday, I was dog-tired from the drive and all the walking, and HOT. At the stop in Baker, CA, it was 104 degrees. Damn hot! Plus, there were 2 big accidents on the I-15 on the way home, which caused some major traffic delays.

Well, I got my award for employee of the month today. I got a certificate, a killer-cool clock (it has my name engraved on it and everything), and a pin. And of course, the parking space for a month It was just so nice of my supervisors to nominate me. I was really touched by all the nice things they had to say about me (ME of all people!!!). People kept coming up to me to say congrats...some people I didn't even know. It was so nice!! All of this praise is gonna go to my head (And what happened then? At the OC, they say, Kim's small ego grew three sizes that day!) My ego has been inflated. Oh boy. Watch out!

Phobia of The Day

Herpetophobia: Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things

Random Fact of The Day

The Gila Monster and the Mexican Beaded Lizard were thought to be the only 2 species of lizards that were venemous. But recent discoveries have shown that iguanas and monitor lizards also produce venom.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Rudeness Rules

"At a movie theater, you may save seats for a few people if the theater is not crowded. If the theater is crowded, you may save seats only if the people you're saving them for are on the premises, defined as 'in the building or the parking lot.' If the previews of coming attractions have started, and the theater is filling up, and you're still defending seats for theoretical people who have not yet arrived, and an actual, physical person attempts to sit down, and you hiss, 'That's saved,' and the person 'accidentally' trips and spills that stanky movie-theater nacho cheese all over your hair, and you press assault charges, and we get to serve on the jury, we're voting for acquittal."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(It gives you wiiiiiiiings!)

Thieves Steal Trailer Filled With Red Bull

DYERSBURG, Tenn. - A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Red Bull energy drinks seemingly grew wings.

A truck driver reported last weekend that his 53-foot trailer containing 2,880 cases of the energy drink was stolen.

Geoffrey Winchester said he parked the truck on Old Highway 51. According to the Dyer County Sheriff's Department, another truck must have pulled the trailer away from the truck and hauled off the load Sunday.

The truck's window had been broken and its satellite tracking system disabled, making the thief's flight untraceable. In its commercials, Red Bull claims that it "gives you wings!"

A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces also was stolen in Dyersburg on Monday, authorities said. The trailer was recovered by police in Ohio Monday night, but all the sauce was gone.

Caption This

Oh, Shep. You are the dog I have always longed for. I love you. But I must tell you something. I am bird flu-positive.


Post your own funy caption in a comment if you wanna.

I have become comfortably numb.

I just got back from the dentist after having another filling done. Blah. The filling part didn't hurt, but the damned shot did. Ouch. But, without the shot, there would be even more pain - lol. So, now my mouth and tongue are all numb and I have little pieces of filling floating around my mouth, and the taste....yuk! I keep biting the insides of my cheek and my tongue cuz I can't feel a damned thing! lol.

Well, People magazine picked out there 50 most beautiful people in the world, and of course, Angelina Jolie is gonna be the cover girl. I don't know what is so great about her, personally. Ok. So she does visit poor countries and adopt their kids, but I still don't get it. Yeah, she's pretty and all, but there are prettier people than her (Jennifer Aniston for one). And excuse me, but how come Hugh Laurie is not on the list?? He is one hot-damn, fine-looking man. He needs to be on the list. Just look at him!


ooh la la !!

They picked Ryan Seacrest, but didn't pick him??? Geez ! I am surprised Simon didn't say something about it on AI last night - hehe.

Ok, so I have a thing for older men. I think they are sexy. I think men with graying hair look distinguished and handsome. And I still think Harrison Ford is damned hot. I am entitled to my opinion, so there.

I wonder if they gave her some calamari as a parting gift

Miss Pickler, the calamari-lovin' American Idol wannabe is out! Thank gosh. No more comas for me (hopefully). I still think she is cute and kinda kooky, so no doubt she'll get some kind of deal to sing country songs or something. That is her fortè. I am just glad to see that Elliot was not down in the bottom group (for once).

Phobia of The Day

Teratophobia: Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.

Random Fact of The Day

Saturn's rings are about 500,000 miles in circumference but only about a foot thick.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Rudeness Rules

"Do not talk during a movie unless you have something important to say. (Example: 'My water just broke.') You may talk quietly during the previews of coming attractions.

EXCEPTION: Halle Berry"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sorry. Wrong turn.)

Polish thief flees to ... police headquarters

ROME (Reuters) - A Polish shoplifter took a very wrong turn -- towards Rome's police headquarters -- while fleeing a supermarket with two stolen bottles of alcohol.

Hearing screams of "Stop thief!", heavily armed police just outside the building cooly grabbed the 19-year-old, a police spokeswoman said on Thursday.

Stunned, the crook immediately confessed and handed over the liquor.

"Yes, I stole the bottles. But not this chocolate," he said, pointing to a candybar he had purchased earlier, according to Il Messaggero newspaper.

Three of his friends, spectators to the event, were arrested as accomplices, the spokeswoman said.

Everybody fear...another Federspears is near!

Another dreary day in Bako. It is raining.....again. It is gray and cloudy and blah outside. How are you supposed to be all upbeat when it is gloomy outside? I want hot cocoa!!! Where is my hot cocoa, gosh darnit?

Speaking of blah, I had to get my picture taken for employee of the month today. I hate having my picture taken. Blah!!! Next time I have to have a picture taken, I am gonna hire a stand-in.

I feel a migraine coming on. I took an Advil this morning cuz I woke up with a headache, and the headache is still alive and kicking in my brain, right behind my right eye. Grrr. It is the curse of the migraine which comes along with PMS. It is so not fun. At least I am leaving work early cuz I have a doctor appointment. I hope, hope, hope, it does not progress into a migraine. I hate them.

I read that Britney Spears is pregnant again. Here comes the unavoidable punch line...go ahead and cringe, cuz it's bad..."Oops, she's knocked up again." According to US Weekly, Federspears is preggos again. Looks like K-Fed has got another Federbun in the oven. Like the world needs more K-Fed spawn. Hasn't he already proven that he has the ability to fertilize the world? Oh gosh, please don't let that happen! Use some birth control people! We don't need anymore wife-beater wearing, cornrow -haired, mooching wannabe rap stars around. One K-Fed is enough. I am (warning - terrible punch line coming up) K-Fed up!

Speaking of being fed up, I am fed up with gas prices. Gas is outrageously expensive these days. This morning I was driving and saw that gas down the street was $3.15 a gallon for regular and $3.35 for supreme. Luckily, my car uses regular, but damn! When are the prices gonna go down, and how much higher are the gonna go before they come down? I don't even want to think about it. I remember a few years ago when gas was down to 99 cents a gallon. Why is gas so high? Obviously, the oil companies aren't hurting for money. They reported some of their highest profits ever. So why are they sticking it to the little guy? That is what I wanna know. Freakin-a.

Phobia of The Day

Lilapsophobia: Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.

Random Fact of The Day

The average tornado moves from southwest to northeast, but tornadoes have been known to move in any direction. The average forward speed is 30 mph but may vary from nearly stationary to 70 mph.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Rudeness Rules

"If you're in the express lane, and the sign says 10 ITEMS OR LESS, then you should have no more than...OK, we'll allow twelve items. We're not Nazis here.

EXCEPTION: Halle Berry can have as many items as she wants"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(If this was their reward, I hate to think what their punishment would be.)

School Sends Kids to Closed Amusement Park

RENO, Nev. - Four bus loads of students from O'Brien Middle School made the four-hour trip to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, Calif., only to find the amusement park's gates locked Monday. The school-sponsored trip was supposed to reward top students.

"It was pretty much a fiasco," said Washoe County School District spokesman Steve Mulvenon. "They ended up wasting a day that those kids could have better spent in class or doing what they were going to do at the park."

School officials said the $50 fee will be refunded, and the tour company that arranged the trip has agreed to pay for the next one. "The tour company neglected to check the schedule," Mulvenon said.

"It is just a bummer for the kids," said parent Jeff Wood. "Now, they will have to wait another month to go and a lot of the kids might not be able to go then."

Principal Scott Grange said the school was even given printed tickets with Monday's date on them.

"But shame on us for not checking," he said.

How bad are you??

How bad are you? Take this quiz and find out:

http://www.thesite.org/flash/dodgy.html


Just for the record, I am good - lol

Upstanding

How refreshing that there are still people around like you, who respect society and the law. Your Grandparents would be proud. You have a good knowledge of the law and a good public spirit, or you have rarely left the house… Either way - keep it up old fruit!

Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*

Years in prison: 0.5 Potential fine: £5000

*Please note this is just a fun quiz so don't be alarmed by your score! The maximum penalty has been taken for each crime and no consideration for scale of crime committed.

Someone call Dr House...I have fallen into a Kellie-induced coma

Ok. I expected much more from American Idol tonight that what I got. Love songs. Perfect subject for a singer. Well, I thought the only decent one was Chris tonight, although I did like Katharine (despite what the judges said) and I missed Elliot's performace (I was driving home from Veronica's house when he was singing- damnit!). Here is my rundown for each singer:

Katharine: good but not great
Elliot: (missed it)
Kellie: blah...blah...and more blah. More like the Unending Melody. I fell into a coma listening to her.
Paris: ok, but kinda oversang the song.
Taylor: The first of his performances I didn't care for. Too bland.
Chris: awesome!

My bottom 3, based on tonight's singing:

Kellie, Paris and Taylor (sorry - I just didn't like it!)

best of the night: Chris, without a doubt.

worst: Kellie (still trying to wake up from that Kellie-induced coma I fell into)

I can't say anything for Elliot, since I missed his performance, but in the recap, he sounded good.
So, now House is on, and that, hopefully, will erase my memories of Kellie's blah blah performance. Sexy doctors tend to do that - hehe. Damn, Dr House is a handsome man. But I digress. DAMN! lol.

On the bad side of tonight (as if there could be something worse than Kellie's singing), is that my mom called and said she heard (from my aunt Helen) that her sister is now under hospice care, and we all know that hospice is the end of the line. It is so sad. I guess she was rushed to the ER twice in the last week cuz the pain was so bad, yet she always says everything is fine. I think she now knows that we all know everything is not fine. Ugh! Life sucks!!!

Caption This...

University students, Janet and Thomas, rethink taking Dr. Johanssen's literature course after seeing the reading list.



Post your own funny caption in a comment if you would like.

Employee of the month...me?? Are they nuts??

I found out today that I am the employee of the month for May 2006. That is pretty cool. I never thought I, ME (like, oh my gosh), would ever be nominated for anything - lol. Yeah, I was employee of the quarter a few times at Marshalls, but there were like 30 people there, not over 1000 - lol. I am pretty stoked about it, since I feel now like people actually notice that I work pretty gosh darned hard and that the little things I do for people are, in fact, being appreciated (not that I NEED validation or anything, but I'll take it if it is offered - lol). The only bad thing is that they take your picture and put it on a poster and hang them all over the building so people everywhere can see my ugly mug. I HATE having my picture taken. I was gonna ask if they can just draw a caricature of me or something, but I don't think that will fly. Oh yeah, and then they have an EOM celebration in the cafeteria and everyone gets cookies and punch and they present you with some certificate and you get a nice, close-to-the-building parking space for a month or something. The parking space thing is cool. Especially on those working Fridays when everyone has to park in the back, and that back lot fills up really quick. So, I am pretty happy right now about it. Just not about the picture part - lol. Yay for me - lol. Still, I think there are others who are just as deserving, in fact, more deserving than me.

Maybe, since I have to get another filling in another tooth on Thursday, this EOM thing is life's way of equalizing pain and happiness - lol. Or maybe I am just full of crap (I am leaning toward the latter).

Phobia of The Day

Ophidiophobia - fear of snakes

Random Fact of The Day

Scorpions look like little land-dwelling lobsters, but are actually related to spiders, ticks and mites and belong to the order Arachnida.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Fellow Americans, we must ask ourselves: Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant, racist, fascist, knuckle-dragging, NASCAR-obsessed, cousin-marrying, roadkil-eating, tobacco-juice-dribbling, gun-fondling, religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue state residents are godless, unpatriotic, pierced-nose, Volvo-driving, France-loving, left-wing communist latte-sucking, tofu-chomping, holistic/wacko, neurotic, vegan weenie perverts? Yes. This is called 'diversity,' and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND Spongebob Squarepants."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?)

Santa? No! It's Naked chimney guy!

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Believing they had a botched burglary on their hands, police in Hayward, California, called to a house instead found a naked man wedged in its chimney, a police officer said Monday.

"He didn't have a stitch on," Lt. Gary Branson of the Hayward Police Department said, referring to Michael Urbano.

The 23-year-old man came home early Saturday morning and, finding himself locked out and without his keys, tried to enter the single-story house through its chimney.

"He told us he took off his clothes because as he was going down the chimney the clothes would rub up against it and slow him down," Branson said. "If it was skin on cement he felt he would go down easier."

Urbano's effort ended disastrously when a cable-television wire he used to lower himself snapped. He fell and was wedged in a section of the chimney tapering into the home's fireplace.

For the next four hours he cried out for help. A neighbor called police and fire fighters, who dislodged Urbano, Branson said. Officers booked Urbano for being under the influence of drugs, he added.

It's Monday - I wish I were still in bed, but then, I say that every work day. The weekend seemed to go by way too fast. I did get a lot accomplished this weekend. Stuff I had been meaning to do for weeks finally got done. And I even got to go on a drive yesterday just for fun. Still, the weekend did have its down spots. For instance, I managed to break a pen and got ink all over me. It looked like I had little black freckles all over my arms and on my face. Then, my watch band broke. I just bought that damned watch maybe 2 weeks ago and it already broke. Maybe that is why it was on sale....hmmm. I also managed to break a ceramic planter while I was cleaning my patio and cut my thumb while cleaning up the broken pieces. Yep, that is definitely a ME thing to do. I am so clumsy!!! I break things while cleaning. Figures. Oh yeah, I also knocked a shelf off the wall in the kitchen. Luckily, it was a small shelf that just had some paper cups on it, so the damage was minimal - lol. Last night, I had such a bad headache. I don't think it was a migraine cuz it invaded pretty much the whole front of my head and not just one side. But it did make me feel really dizzy. Kinda like a drunk feeling, only without the alcohol and without the fun. It was just plain ouch!

So now it is lunch time, and I am not very hungry. Of course, about 2 pm I will be starving, no doubt, and it will be my fault for not eating. I made ravioli last night and was gonna bring the leftovers to work for lunch, but, of course, I forgot! Which, again, is a very ME thing to do.

I was watching that new show, So NoTORIous, that shows on VH1 last night, and was surprised at how much I liked it. Now, I have never been a Tori Spelling fan...not at all. But the show is hilarious! She basically pokes fun at herself in the show and is pretty brave about doing it. I was really surprised at how funny it is. When I first heard about the show, I thought, oh gosh. That is gonna be lame. So I didn't bother even watching it. But now...now I think I am gonna tune in more often. It is hella funny.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Rudeness Rules

"If you're in a supermarket checkout line, and you realize that you forgot an item, you're allowed to go get it, provided that (1) you apologize to the people behind you, (2) you know exactly where the item is, and (3) you hurry. If you forget TWO items, take your cart out of line. You are not allowed to leave your cart blocking the line while you wander the aisles trying to recall the ingredients of Beef Tongue Flambeau.

NOTE: Before you serve beef tongue to innocent people, you should think about the kinds of things that cows lick."

Phobia of The Day

Ranidaphobia: fear of frogs

Random Fact of The Day

The Pronghorn is the only animal in the world with branched horns (not antlers) and the only animal in the world to shed its horns, as if they were antlers.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(There are just some jobs where being naked is dangerous...and this is one of them.)

Carpenter Charged With Working in the Buff

OAKLAND, Calif. - A carpenter who keeps his clothes clean by working in the nude was arrested after a client returned home early and found him building bookcases in the buff.

Percy Honniball, 50, was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure this week for the October incident.

He told officers he stripped before crawling under the client's house to do electrical work because he didn't want to soil his clothes, police said.

Honniball said Thursday that working in the nude gave him a better range of motion and that a skilled craftsman can work clothing — and injury — free.

"In certain situations such as demolitions where you are smashing rock you want to be clothed and protected because this rock can harm you," he said.

Honniball was caught working naked in Berkeley three times in the last six years and put on probation for violating a city ordinance. Honniball said he doesn't plan to do work in his birthday suit again.

Police said he apologized to the startled homeowner, but was fired. The homeowner paid Honniball for the finished work, but deducted $200.

"He kept out that amount to change his locks," Oakland Police Officer Jesse Grant said.

Tule Elk at the Tule Elk State Reserve near Buttonwillow, CA - Yes, there really are elk out there, but they were pretty far off.
Posted by Picasa

T-storms!

Lordy. Today was a busy day. Being that I was off from work, I took the day and ran errands. I got the oil changed in my car (which took them an hour to do since they were busy), picked up my pictures at Target, went to Michaels to get frames, went to the UPS store to get a box and packing stuff so I can mail out Cyndi's present tomorrow (yes, I FINALLY got down to the danged store - lol), and even went to the mall. I got 3 tops and spent like $10 - pretty cool, huh. (gotta love sales and coupons!!!) I framed up the pictures and they turned out awesome. I did a good job on em if I don't say so myself. (hehe).

This evening, we got treated to a lightning and thunder show. I love to watch the lightning. It is so powerful and deadly, yet strangely beautiful. I had to get a better look, so I got in my car and drove to the outskirts of town where there were no buildings to obstruct my view, and I just sat there and watched for like a half an hour. I tried to take pictures, but it is very difficult to take pictures of lightning .



See. It is hard to get a good picture! This was my pathetic best shot of the night - lol.

Oh well. I tried - it was tough without a tripod - I took the pic on my front porch. My tripod was in my car at the time, and it was pouring down rain, AND I was in my pj's. So, no way was I running to my car to get it. I woulda gotten soaked!

It was definitely a cool night. We don't get lightning very often. My mom says I am crazy for wanting to get closer to see it better. Perhaps I am. But I LOVE IT!

Awwwww

Alicia's little girl, Alana. She is so cute!!!!

I like cheese!

My friend, Arlene, wrote me an email and told me that she had a dream last night that I was getting married, and asked me when I was gonna get married. Well, Arlene, I DON'T KNOW! She is the one with the engagement ring and doesn't even know when she is getting married and here I am, ringless, and she is asking ME when I am. (lol). Sometimes I wonder if that day will ever come, or if there is anyone out there crazy enough to actually want to marry me - lol. I am not saying that I am a BAD or crazy person, but I have my moments. (hehe) So, in answer to Arlene's question, I don't know. She wrote me back and told me that I will get married someday and so will she. Apparently, Miss Arlene is psychic - lol.

I was watching Dirty Dancing the other day, cuz lord knows they play that movie on tv at least once a day, and found myself wondering what happened after the end. Did Johnny and Baby ride off into the sunset together in Johnny's car and live happily, dancing, ever after? Or maybe, Johnny decided he wanted to dance the mamba and Baby wanted to dance the tango so they broke up over creative differences. Who knows. I know it is just a movie. I know the movie had a happy ending so we should all just be happy that Baby and Johnny got to dance that last dance together and leave it at that. But I wanna know the REAL ending. I told you I was crazy! lol.

Dirty Dancing is one of those feel-good movies that is geared toward a female audience...in other words, it is a chick flick. It has the suave leading man and the naive girl who find themselves falling in love, in a period of 3 weeks mind you. It also has some of the cheesiest dialogue imaginable ... Nobody puts baby in a corner. When is the last time a guy has come up to your parents and told you that? (how about never). They say these grand things to each other and he teaches Baby how to dance like a pro (in 3 weeks, mind you). And she tells him that she is afraid of walking out the door and never feeling again, in her whole life, the way she feels when she is with him. Awwwww. I know no one has ever said anything like THAT to me before, and I know I have never said anything like that to anyone else. I may have FELT it for someone before, but I never spoke it aloud. Despite all these cheesy moments, we "chicks" love this flick. I don't know why, but I like it, too. Probably because it does have the happy ending. The naive and kinda clumsy girl gets the cool dude. I guess we "chicks" can relate to Baby. We all wanna be loved.

Anyway, I have nothing else to write about right now. So I am just rambling on like a fool who has nothing useful to say. I am just glad the weekend is near. Tomorrow is our flex day, so that means no work for me. I guess we are scheduled for more rain tonight and tomorrow. Figures. I need to clean my fish tank and my hamster homes and clean up the patio. Gosh that thing is a mess. The wind keeps knocking over my fake tree that I have out there, and I just leave it leaning cuz I figure it will just fall over again. I am tired of having a mess out there, so this weekend I vow to clean it!

Phobia of The Day

Agateophobia: Fear of insanity

Random Fact of The Day

Marie Curie, the Nobel prize winning scientist who discovered radium, died of radiation poisoning.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Rudeness Rules

"If there's a line, you get at the end of the line, and you wait your turn. You own ONE place in the line. You do NOT have the right to invite friends to join you in the line. This is rude to the people behind you, who got there before your friends, and will now have to wait longer. If you want to be with your friends, you can join them at the back of the line. And, no, it's not enough to ask the person immediately behind you if it's OK for your friends to butt in. This person does not speak for the entire line. Also this person pretty much has to say yes, but only because he or she, being less rude than you, wants to avoid confrontation.

EXCEPTION: You may invite an immediate family member such as your spouse or child to join you in the line. There are no other exceptions.

EXCEPTION: Halle Berry"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(They knew something was up by the way she walked.)

Woman Allegedly Smuggles Grenade Into Jail

SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador - A Salvadoran woman was detained after she tried to smuggle a military grenade and marijuana hidden in her vagina into the country's main prison, authorities said Wednesday.

Officials subsequently raised the security level at jails across the country, prison system spokesman Alberto Uribe said, adding the discovery showed "the inmates are planning something."

Lidia Alvarado, 44, was found hiding a cylinder containing the weapon and the drugs, as she entered La Esperanza prison on the northeastern outskirts of the capital of San Salvador, Uribe said.

She was turned over to police and charged with illegal weapons possession and drug trafficking, he said. Police who inspected the M-67 grenade said it was in working condition.

Alvarado was visiting two inmates, serving 25 and 30 years. Each had been convicted of rape, robbery and illegal arms possession.

Prison Director Wilson Galeas was quoted by the daily newspaper La Prensa Grafica as saying it was not the first time Alvarado had visited the two convicts.

If I show you my scar will you let me stay?

am glad I was right about Ace going home on American Idol. Very glad. He needed to go. But what the hell was up with the bottom 3? Chris.....in the bottom 3???? WTF? That was just not right. When they had Elliot and Kellie in the same group and then brought Katharine over, I was thinking, "Shit! What is the deal with Katharine being in the bottom 3? She sang great last night." Then when they said that that group was safe, I was like WTF? Why is Chris in there? Has America gone nuts? I guess so. Anyhow, Ace, with his weird hand movements, scar, and funky hair, is gone. I really think it was the hair that ultimately did him in.

News and other junk

Well, the Tomkitten (as the media has dubbed it) has arrived. I don't know what all the fuss is about. It's a baby, not a cure for cancer. No matter what you think about them, you know their baby is gonna be cute. And Suri is not a terrible name. It is better than Hazel, Apple or Moon Unit - lol.

I was watching Hannity and Colmes on tv yesterday evening with my folks at their house (and that is the only place I will watch news shows - lol), and this woman on their program angered me so much that I was calling her an asshole and a crazy bitch...in front of my parents. (I don't normally cuss in front of my parents - lol). I guess her and the members of her "church" , the Westboro Baptist Church, (I say "church" because they only have around 100 members) have been protesting at soldier's funerals, holding up signs that say things like "Thank God for dead soldiers," and shit like that.

Like this fool...



And even more nutso is the fact that they feel that they are justified in doing so. Even Sean Hannity was telling the woman that she is nuts. She just sat there, with a vacant grin on her face, looking a lot like the Enzyte dude's wife, and then proceeded to tell the audience how God is angry and every dead soldier is a curse on America, and that the families of the fallen soldiers deserve to be punished for defending a country that accepts homosexuality. What a crazy bitch! She sounds (and looked) like she had been brainwashed....or maybe she is just crazy. I can see why their "church" only has 100 members. Because most people agree with me.......they are nuts! If they hate America and think that God hates America, well then get the f*ck out of here! It will be 100 less crazy people for us to deal with.

I wore these socks today, knowing that they would fall down everytime I walked, but I wore them anyway, cuz I was too lazy to go looking for another pair. Serves me right. I am a lazy, sock-falling-down fool - lol.

Phobia of The Day

Lygophobia: fear of darkness

Random Fact of The Day

Grenades were invented in China over 1,000 years ago.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"So I was pedaling along on my bicycle, towing a little kiddie trailer that contained my daughter, Sophie, and her friend Sofia. I like to tow Sophie when she has a friend with her, because they quickly forget that I'm up there pedaling, so I can listen in on their conversations and find out what is on their minds. Usually it's something like this:

First Child: "You're a tree head!" (wild giggling)

Second Child: "No, YOUR'E a tree head!" (wild giggling)

First Child: "You're a pinecone head!" (wild giggling)

Second Child: "No, YOUR'E a pinecone head." (wild giggling)

And so it goes, mile after insight-filled mile."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When Easter Bunnies attack.)

Easter Bunny Accused of Hitting Customer

FORT MYERS, Fla. - The Easter Bunny has been fired — for losing his head. Arthur J. McClure, 22, who had been hired to play the Easter Bunny at a local mall has been accused of removing the head of the costume and hitting a customer, authorities said.

McClure punched Erin Johansson when she got upset that the photo exhibit was closing 10 minutes early Saturday night, police reports said. The incident was witnessed by dozens of people at the Edison Mall, including 15 children.

McClure said he never punched Johansson. He claims he was trying to stop a fight between his wife — exhibit manager Crystal Frechette — and Johansson.

He said he took the bunny's head off because he had been wearing it for nine hours and was hot.

"My shirt was soaked with sweat," McClure said. "I almost threw up."

Mall management issued an apology to parents and children. Golden, Colo.-based Noerr Programs Corp., which contracted with the mall to run the photo set, fired McClure and Frechette on Monday. They also have been charged with battery and disturbing the peace.

The idols sing the classics

Well, it was classics night on American Idol tonight. Overall, I thought everyone did great...except for Kellie. Oh, poor Kellie. She just couldn't keep with the timing of the song at the end and just lost it. Chris, as usual, did an awesome job on one of my favorite songs ever, "What A Wonderful World." It really showed a different, and equally good, side to him. Paris was great. Taylor's song rocked (it did start out so-so, but he really got into it at the end). Katharine was amazing. Elliot sang well, but it wasn't his best performance. Even I admit that it was one of the weakest performances of the night, but I still like Elliot and still root for him. Ace did fairly well, although, personally, I liked Adam Sandler's rendition of the same song that he did in The Wedding Singer better - lol.

My bottom 3 for this week, based on tonight's performances only, would be: Ace, Kellie and Elliot (sorry guy!). I hope Ace gets booted this week.It is definitely his turn to go.

...and the pain goes on...

Why is it that when you go to the dentist to get a filling done on a tooth that had never hurt or given you any trouble before, you end up leaving with a numb mouth, only to have that never-hurt-before tooth start hurting like hell later on when the novacaine wears off? Is that some secret thing the dentist does to punish you for making him have to work? Oh my gosh. One of the teeth he did fillings on yesterday hurt like hell last night whenever I bit down (like eating for instance - lol - ouch). At first it only hurt when I bit down or touched it, but then it started hurting when I was just sitting there doing nothing. It felt like the nerve was throbbing. I thought I was gonna have to call the dentist this morning to ask what the hell he did to my tooth! But this morning, I don't have that pain so much when I bite down, but it sure as sh*t is cold-sensitive and just plain aches right now. I thought getting a filling was supposed to HELP you not hurt you. But I guess it is normal to have pain and sensitivity (I did a little online research on it last night - lol), although I sure don't remember having this much pain in the past when I have had fillings done. It feels like he made the filling too high, too, cuz it feels like I have food or something on my tooth everytime I bite down. I have to go back next week to have another filling done, so if it is still bothering me then, I will ask about it. I am gonna take an Advil. Freakin' teeth!!! I went out and bought some Act Flouride rinse, as the dentist suggested, to see if that helps my freakin' teeth from getting more freakin' cavities. Ouch. I hate dentists!!!!!!!!!!! My poor mouth! The danged thing never hurt before he filled it. I sense a conspiracy.

Phobia of The Day

Kathisophobia: fear of sitting down

Random Fact of The Day

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Ask Mr Language Person

Q. What is the difference between an "effort" and a "concerted effort"?

A. An effort is when an individual gives between zero and 110 percent; anything above that is a concerted effort, and generally should result in knee damage.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(He must have REALLY wanted that ATM machine.)

Police Rescue Alleged 'Backhoe Bandit'

KANSAS CITY, Kan. - A man who tried to steal an ATM with a backhoe was arrested when he asked police officers who were chasing him for help after he jumped into the Kansas River, police said.

Police said the man, in his 50s, used the backhoe to break into a convenience store in Kansas City, Kan., then tried to drive away with the Automated Teller Machine. As the man tried to flee, the machine and 12 packs of soda fell from the backhoe, police said.

Police followed the man as he took the backhoe through a wooded area before fleeing on foot.

After jumping into the Kansas River, the man swam out about 15 feet from shore, then called for help, saying he was drowning, the police department said.

Two officers jumped into the river, rescued him and arrested him, police said.

The man was taken to a hospital after complaining of an ankle injury, police said. The two officers were unharmed.

No pain, no gain?

Well, this is one of the first times that I have gone to the dentist to have a filling done where I haven't had to have a second shot of novacaine. This appointment was fast. I was in and outta there in 30 minutes! And it was relatively painless. The shot of course didn't feel too good, and there were a few spots when he was drilling that were kinda painful, but I didn't say anything or else he woulda stopped and given me another shot. But as long as it wasn't screamingly unbearable, I figured, what the hell.My mouth is now numb, and so is my tongue, and everytime I talk I end up biting my lip and/or tongue. So I am just gonna sit here and shut up for a while. I am sure my coworkers will like that - hehe.

This movie is so lifelike...I can actually smell the vomit!

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, sometimes I have to wonder who NEEDED air pumps for shoes or who NEEDED polka music... or who NEEDED Kevin Federline. Well, this latest "necessity", the so-called "fragrant films", is making me seriously wonder about people. The latest thing in Japan is theatres that, during certain scenes in movies, will release certain smells under the viewer's seat that supposedly go along with the movie. Ok. So it may work for certain films like The Scent of A Woman (haha). It may even work for other movies like Napoleon Dynamite (I can just imagine the scent of quesadillas, nachos and tater tots in the air). But for a movie like Friday the 13th Part 9 or something, well, I really don't wanna be there to smell Jason, all decayed and gross and smelling like rotten meat. Gross! This "Smell-O-Vision" thing makes me wonder what they will come up with next....maybe "Feel-O-Vision", where you get to feel what the characters are feeling....like when one of Jason's victims gets hacked to bits with an axe....ok, that may not work after all. Speaking of nasty stuff, I have a new pet peeve. Well, it is not really new, but it is something that I have lately realized that really REALLY annoys me: When people talk about nasty, gross things when I am eating or am about to eat, or have just finished eating. There is a time and place to talk about those things, and dinner is not one of them! EWWW! Keep your puke stories to yourself until AFTER I have digested my food, thank you very much (unless you wanna see ME puke). I have to go to the dentist pretty soon, and I am not looking foward to it. He is gonna drill on my teeth and I HATE that. It never fails that he starts drilling in there and goes about halfway and then he hits a spot that isn't numb yet, and then he has to stop, give me another shot, and then come back and start back up again. Grrr. Well, I can at least be thankful that they have novacaine nowadays - lol.

Phobia of The Day

Ranidaphobia: fear of frogs

Random Fact of The Day

The age of a thoroughbred racehorse is figured as if its birthday were January 1st rather than actual month and day of its birth.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Outsourcing is here to stay. Which leads me to my announcement: Starting today, I will no longer personally write my column. It will be produced by foreign humor workers, who, rest assured, are highly trained. You will notice no dropoff in quality as you continue to enjoy the wacky hmogrins of fblsevry lfht hvfrsnnyrs aqdrfltns abtfbls not making this up rltngn alrtrds a good name for a rock band."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oops. My bad.)

School Makes Kids Use Buckets for Toilets

INGLEWOOD, Calif. - A principal trying to prevent walkouts during immigration rallies inadvertently introduced a lockdown so strict that children weren't allowed to go to the bathroom, and instead had to use buckets in the classroom, an official said.

Worthington Elementary School Principal Angie Marquez imposed the lockdown March 27 as nearly 40,000 students across Southern California left classes to attend immigrants' rights demonstrations.

Marquez apparently misread the district handbook and ordered a lockdown designed for nuclear attacks.

Tim Brown, the district's director of operations, confirmed some students used buckets but said the principal's order to impose the most severe type of lockdown was an "honest mistake."

"When there's a nuclear attack, that's when buckets are used," Brown told the Los Angeles Times. The principal "followed procedure. She made a decision to follow the handbook. She just misread it."

A message left by The Associated Press for the principal at the school before business hours Monday was not immediately returned, and Marquez did not return telephone calls from the Times.

Appalled parents have complained to the school board. Brown said the school district planned to update its emergency preparedness instructions to give more explicit directions.

Parents and community activists asked the school board at its April 5 meeting to explain the principal's decision. They also sought promises that the lockdown wouldn't be repeated.

"There was no violence at the protests, so this was based on what?" activist Diane Sambrano asked. "It was unsanitary, unnecessary and absolutely unacceptable."

Long drive...big headache

Indecisions! This is what my family is all about. Yesterday evening, around 7 pm, my mom called to say we were gonna leave to go to Santa Rosa at 4 am Sunday morning. About 20 minutes later, she calls and tells me to come over to their house cuz they decided that they were gonna drive to Atascadero and stay the night at my grandma's house and leave from there in the morning. Ugh! Make up your mind people!!

Well, we went up to Santa Rosa and Sebastapol today to visit with my aunt Marge who is in the hospital. We stopped off first in Sebastapol to visit with my aunt Helen. I hadn't seen her probably since my uncle Gump's funeral. She looked pretty good. She is wheelchair bound, because of the MS, but she has helpers that come over everyday to help her out in the house and stuff, plus she has a cute little dog named Buddy to keep her company. This is Buddy...



Isn't he cute? I just love dogs! (by the way, that pic was taken with my camera phone - not a bad pic for a camera phone, if I don't say so myself).

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed visiting my relatives up in Sebastapol. It is so green up there and pretty. My aunt has a couple of bird feeders in her front yard so they were constantly being visited by birds....some bluejays, a woodpecker, a robin, some chickadees, a quail. If I lived there, I would just enjoy sitting there and watching the birds. Must be why she put the feeders in front of her window. We also stopped by to say a quick hi to my cousin Mike who lives down the road.

We got to the hospital around 10:30 or so. When we got there, it was just my family and my aunt Marge there, but soon enough, it was like a family reunion in there! My cousins Steve and Dave came by with their kids (they each have 2 kids), then my uncle Martin came, then my cousin Debbie and her 2 kids came, too. The hospital room was small, so you could imagine all those people stuffed into one room - lol. It was so cool to see them all. I have to say that my cousins' kids are all soooo cute! And well behaved too. It was Easter, so the night before, my cousin Dave had gotten them all Easter baskets and put them in the room for them, so when they came to visit, they would be there for them. Marge said that she saw the Easter bunny deliver them and the kids' faces just lit up - it was so cute.

My aunt...I wish I could say she was doing well, but she isn't. I guess she hasn't eaten a real meal in weeks. She barely touched her lunch and she was in a lot of pain, even though she tried to pass it off as nothing much. Her eyes were watering and she was doubled over like she was in a whole lot of pain. She is just the kind of person that wants people to think she is always all right and that there is nothing wrong with her. My uncle told us that there is something wrong with her brain not sending the signals to her body to process food so that it doesn't digest or something....it was all too complicated for me to understand. She did drink some coffee which she seemed to enjoy. I guess the doctors are starting her on more chemotherapy, some experimental drug which hasn't yet been approved by the FDA. Her daughter is a nurse, so she keeps up on all the medications and stuff, which is to my aunt's benefit. My uncle said that a few days ago, he thought they were gonna lose her. She is very thin. She has always been thin, but she is even more so now. And poor Martin, he is a wreck. I guess he even had to go to the ER cuz he was having chest pains. It is all of the stress and lack of sleep. He needs to take care of himself, too, but he is more concerned about Marge than himself. I could tell by his face that he is just devastated, and it just makes me so sad.

I don't know how much longer she can hold on, but I know from the way she reacted when the doctor said more chemo was needed that she really didn't want to go through with more of that. I know that that stuff makes you sick.

We didn't get home til about 7:30 tonight. It was a long drive.It is over 330 miles from here to Sebastapol, and after over 10 hours in the car with my family today, I sure had one whopper of a headache. My head felt like it was gonna explode! My dad drove nearly all the way, but my bro drove the final 2 hour stretch. It is quite a difference between the two of them driving. My dad is more the slightly-over-the-speed-limit-but-steady, and my bro is more of the get-outta-my-way kind of driver.

This is an example of my dad's driving:

silence for about an hour...
Dad: "Does anyone need to stop and use the restroom?"
Us: "No, not yet"
Silence......

Ok....now here is an example of my bro's driving:

Mark" "What is wrong with this asshole? Drive!!! GO!!! What is wrong with you??"
Mom: "Calm down."
Dad: (silence)
Mark: "He is going fucking 60 miles per hour in the fast lane for Christ's sake! MOVE IT!
Me: (thinking to myself, I am glad he is not carrying his gun with him)
Mark: "At this rate it is gonna take fucking 3 hours to get home. FUCK!"
Me: (silently laughing to myself....I am in a car with a crazy person at the wheel)
Mark: "FUCK!!!! Move your ass you stupid motherfucker!"
and so on and so forth.

Yes, it was an interesting drive home.

Work = HELL

I know I say this every week, but it is finally Friday! I am so glad...beyond glad...that it is. This week has been nuts. First, I get sick and stay home on Monday. Then on Tuesday, I still feel like crap but go to work anyway. Oh, and 2 people in the unit were out that day to boot. The next day, one girl is still out sick, so I am assigned to work on her cases that are due this week. But other stuff happens, and I end up seeing some of her clients and only get one of the due-this-week cases done. Yesterday, well that was just hell. The other girl is still out sick and the supervisor is out, too. So, I see the worker's clients, do walkbacks, and finish up the other 3 cases that are due that day. I barely finished up that last case. I think I finished it by 5:15 (and we leave at 5:30 - lol). Today, I am more relaxed. I finished up the pile of cases that was on the desk that I had left from yesterday, and am feeling like a weight has been lifted. Ahhh. We'll see how next week goes. Hopefully, the other worker will be back, and my supervisor will be back on Monday, too. We are getting 2 new trainees on Tuesday, so I should be back to my old position soon - THANK THE LORD! This assignment has been making me crazy. One of the supervisors came over to see how I was doing this morning and he said that everyone appreciates what I have been doing, so that made me feel pretty good and appreciated. I was just telling people yesterday that I was beginning to hate my job. I hope that was just a side thought that will go away soon. I still think I need a vacation though!

It is supposed to rain and thunder today. I hope there is some lightning. One of my favorite things to do is to sit on my porch and watch the lightning. I love it! It is so freakin' awesome!
I am going with my family up to Santa Rosa on Sunday to visit my aunt in the hospital. My mom said that she called my uncle Martin yesterday and he said that she isn't doing well. She can't eat and she has some intestinal blockage which may or may not be related to the cancer. She also said something about her brain not processing info or something (it was confusing to me). She doesn't even think she will get to go home from the hospital anytime soon, if at all.

I only wish the trip up north were under better circumstances.

Phobia of The Day

Geniophobia: Fear of chins

Random Fact of The Day

If you cut off a snail's eye, it will grow a new one.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Don't drink and fly.)

Pilot caught trying to fly plane while drunk

MUMBAI (Reuters) - An Indian low-cost airline suspended a pilot after he was found drunk shortly before he was due to fly an aircraft with about 100 passengers on board, officials said Wednesday.

The surprise Tuesday check at Mumbai airport -- India's busiest -- threw up several minor violations of safety norms by airlines, including an instance of a pilot in another low-cost carrier trying to fly in a T-shirt because his only uniform had gone to the laundry.

While aviation officials let most offenders off with a warning, Captain N. Ronaldo, a South American pilot flying an Air Deccan aircraft from Mumbai to the eastern city of Kolkata, was referred for "action" after being found drunk on duty.

"We have suspended the pilot after a breath-analyzer showed he had alcohol beyond the permissible levels," Air Deccan spokesperson Vijaya Menon told Reuters.

Indian aviation rules do not allow pilots to drink 12 hours before a flight. It was not immediately known how much liquor the pilot had consumed.

India's civil aviation sector has expanded rapidly in the past three years with several new private airlines looking at home and abroad for new pilots.

American Idol elimination night ...and more stuff

Bucky was booted off American Idol. Amen! It is about time he got booted. He had definitely stayed longer than he deserved to. Of course, Kellie was not in the bottom 3 like I had thought she deserved to be. They put Elliot down there instead. Ugh. I like Elliot. He sings really well. Kellie maybe cute and perky and all, but she doesn't have the vocals to be an American Idol. Maybe I just like to root for the underdog, and Elliot seems to be an underdog in this competition. Anyway, it is getting tougher to pick a bottom 3 now. I still think Chris is gonna win it all. Hell, my dad even thinks he has a good voice, and my dad is hella picky about his music! I think if anyone but Chris wins, hell will surely freeze over.

Last night's South Park was hilarious. I like the way South Park pokes fun of itself (in one part a guy says that Family Guy may just be a bunch of jokes one after another, but at least it doesn't get all preachy and have lame little morals to the story and such - lol). Too funny. Gotta love South Park. Carlos Mencia was sure funny last night, too. He is sure getting bolder with his jokes and stuff. I am sure he will get some hate mail with the way he was bashing the illegal immigrant supporters who were demonstrating. I like him because he doesn't give a rat's ass who he offends. He is just speaking his mind, and, hell, he has the right to. It IS America after all (and if people don't like it, then they can always change the channel - hehe).

It is Thursday and the supervisor is out, and one of the workers in the unit is out. I anticipate another bad, busy day (Thus the need to get the blog out early - lol). I hope I survive.

Phobia of The Day

Atychiphobia: fear of failure

Random Fact of The Day

You share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When you do something stupid, expect to get burned.)

Boy Sets Self on Fire in Alleged Gas Theft

GILLETTE, Wyo. - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.

Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.

The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said.

Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.

Deep thoughts

Yes, I am blogging again. I find it is sometimes just good to vent or get things off your chest when they happen or else be stuck with those thoughts for the rest of your day, which just causes more bad thoughts!

My mom called me a little earlier to tell me she found out her sister is in the hospital and has been there since Saturday. She has ovarian cancer and has been putting up the good fight for over 3 years now. It seems now she is losing the fight. There just aren't many more options for her at this point. My mom, of course, is upset. She actually called me to ask me what would I say to her if I called her. I don't know what I would say. What would you say to someone who is dying? I was never good with words, and I am still not. I haven't a clue on what to say. I just told her to maybe tell her something funny about their childhood or something interesting in the news, to kind of get her mind off of her illness. I feel so inadequate! I would never make a good therapist - lol.

I haven't seen my aunt Marge since my uncle Gump's funeral a few years ago. I hope to see her again before it is too late. My brother and I both encouraged my mom to go visit her, as she was reluctant to do it. I don' t know whether it is because the 2 of them have never been that close or if she was just afraid, but she finally did go visit her and my uncle Martin a few weeks ago. Now, with this latest news, I am sure she is glad she did. I didn't get to go since I was working.

It is way too often that we take people for granted. We think they will always be there. But often things happen that take people out of our lives...whether it be moving away, a feud, or death...and we find ourselves wishing that we would have spent more time with those people and regretting not having done so. I felt that way with my grandma. I still miss her (today would have been her 86th birthday), and wish to God that I would have spent more time with her. We can all wish we had spent more time with people. The trick, I guess, is actually doing it.
Never put off til tomorrow what can be done today. I have heard that somewhere. I think it is like a famous quote or something. But those words sure do ring truer today than they ever have.

...and 3 cavities later I am back at work

I just got back from the dentist (aka SATAN - yes, satan means dentist in phaiwaineese or some language I am sure of it!). I have to get 3 fillings. UGH! 3! I brush 2-3 times a day and I floss nightly. So why the fillings? Soda! Yes, soda, I am sure, is the cause of my mouth's misery. Yet, I cannot seem to stop sipping the sweet stuff. I think it is the caffeine that makes me all soda crazy, or maybe it is the taste, or a luscious combination of both. Well, I did get a new toothbrush and some floss out of the deal, so I guess it ain't a total loss. I have to go in to the dentist twice to get all of the fillings done, so that means 2 rounds with the novacaine needle. Yukkers. I hate thta novacaine shot. It hurts like hell, which is appropriate since the dentist is SATAN after all.

I had a new hygienist this morning. She was all about sticking me with that scraping tool thingamabob. She asked me if my gums bled when I brushed and I said "yes." (they have since I was a kid). She said I was a real bleeder (lol). Well you would be too if you were getting stabbed in the gums with a metal poker! Ouch! She stabbed me in the gums a few times and I know she wasn't trying to scrape anything off of my gums. I think she just slipped, and my gums paid the price for it. So bleed they did.

So, I have to go back on Monday the 17th and then on the 27th again. Yuk. I am not looking forward to it.

I went to get me some Micky D's after the dentist, since I didn't eat any breakfast this morning cuz of the dentist appointment. I got one Sausage Mc Muffin .... and 10 napkins. No, I didn't ask for 10 napkins. They just gave them to me. I guess they figure you need 10 napkins for one Mc Muffin. Either that or they thought I was gonna make a mess. I don't understand why they give you so many napkins, hot sauces, ketchups, etc. You ask for 1 and they give you 10. So if you have a large group and are ordering 10 hamburgers, fully expect them to just give you the whole napkin holder and a bag full of ketchup.

Funny Stuff

Phobia of The Day

Arrhenphobia: fear of men

Random Fact of The Day

All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south - and nobody knows why.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"If you are a newspaper columnist, you can legally deduct all expenses relating to anything you specifically mention in a column, such as houses, cars, vacations, beer, and everything else, real or imagined, in the world, including but not limited to your new 'flat screen' television with a remote control boasting so many advanced features that you have to call your son nightly so he can explain to you how to turn it off."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(I'm ready for my closeup.)

Accused Burglar Takes Cameras, Leaves Tape

ELKO, Nev. - A man accused of burglarizing a laundromat in Elko figured he made a clean escape over the weekend when he took off with the store's six video surveillance cameras.

But it turns out he left some rather compelling evidence behind — the video machine and videotape that recorded his face each time he stood in front of the cameras at the Southside Laundry.

Elko police said they came away with several close-ups of the suspect, Robert Lynn White, 52, Elko.

And even if the portraits were a little fuzzy, police said they would have been able to easily identify him because he was wearing cowboy chaps and a trench coat, the usual attire he wears around town.

Police are still working to recover the missing cameras but in the meantime they have arrested White on suspicion of grand larceny. The store is owned by Elko County Commissioner John Ellison.

American Idol recap ... and stuff

Tonight's American Idol was all about Queen songs. Overall, I think the contestants did well. There were a few exceptions.

Bucky's rendition of "Fat Bottom Girls" was just so-so. I thought he sang it too rushed and too country-ish. Kellie's version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" was just ick. The judges said she did well, but obviously they weren't hearing it all (As Cyndi said, she looked and sounded like Ashlee Simpson - which was just about right). I did not like Ace's version of "We Will Rock You" at all. It sounded too karaoke-ish to me.

Taylor's rendition of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was kind of up and down. I liked the last part. He made it rock out there. But the beginning was only so-so. Paris did fairly well on "The Show Must Go On." I think she did a decent job.

The 3 performances that were the best tonight, in my mind (and to my ears), were Katharine, who sang "Who Wants To Live Forever," Elliot, who sang "Somebody To Love," and Chris, who sang "Innuendo" (I think that is what it was called). He rocked it out.

My bottom 3..... Bucky, Kellie and Ace. Once again, I am gonna say that Ace needs to leave. His whiney voice needs to be put to rest (even if he does have great hair - lol).

On a side note, I just wanna say that I love the Fox tv show, House. Hugh Laurie is freakin' de-lish. He has that rugged handsomeness that I just can eat up. He is brash and opinionated and very outspoken. He is definitely a bad boy with a good heart. I love it! Plus the show is just good. Watch it. You will see.

And another side note which is totally unrelated to anything I just wrote....I love the new throw blanket I bought today for my couch. It is soooooooooo cumfy and soft. I wanna wear it to work (but I know I would get fired if I did - lol). That is how cumfy and soft it is. I got it at Mashalls (my old home). I hadn't been in that store in a long, long time. I am in love with my blanket!!! LOL! (I am such a nut).

Another side note.....Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband had a baby boy and they named him .......brace yourself....Moses. Well, at least they didn't name him something like Squash or Melon or some other veggie or fruit name. But still. C'mon! People! Wake up! Name your kid something nice and normal. It is not a competition to come up with the weirdest names you can possibly come up with (remember Jason Lee's kid, Pilot Inspektor or Penn Gillete's little girl, Moxie Crimefighter? UGH!). These kids have to live with these names for the rest of their lives. Moses was all fine and good in Biblical times, but how many Ezekiel's, Malacchi's and Zebediah's do you see around these days???

I know I am ranting, but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning and just knowing that I am gonna have to go get my teeth and gums scraped with that horrible metal hook thingy they use just puts me in a bad mood. I can feel the pain already.

Trueness

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

For a blog quiz, this is pretty accurate

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

No complex thoughts for me today

Well, it is Tuesday, and I am at work, despite still feeling blah. Looks like I am not the only sicko though, since 2 people in my unit called out sick today, which leaves just me. I anticipate a very bad day. Very bad indeed. I tried to eat some toast this morning, but it just tasted bad to me, but the 7-Up tastes ok. My appetite is still almost nonexistent, but I did manage to eat the toast anyway. Blah, blah, blah.

It is raining outside. It rained yesterday, too. It is supposed to clear up tomorrow, but will be back for the weekend. I guess the rain is making up for the dry winter we had. And it is making up for it in abundance.

I watched a show on the Travel Channel last night about how they make and print money. It was pretty interesting. It takes them up to 8 months just to do the etching each president's portrait. The etcher has to work in reverse and using a magnifying glass to see, as each cut into the etching can be no deeper than the width of a human hair. Talk about a job that requires patience! They showed the whole process from the making of the paper pulp to the inking of the engraving plates to the final cut. It was really cool and it shows you just how much of a painstaking process it is to make money. They also said it is very profitable as each bill, no matter the denomination, takes only 4 cents each to make. So basically, on a hundred dollar bill, you're talking about a $99.96 profit. It did get me to wondering how we can have such a big defecit if they can print money just like that and turn such a big profilt. They should be able to pay off that deficit in no time flat! (things that make you go hmmmmmmm). I suppose there is more to it than that, but my simple mind won't allow complex thoughts right now.

I am so tired. I actually slept pretty well last night (thanks to Tylenol PM), but yet I am sleepy. And I am starting to feel queasy again. Damn that toast!

Phobia of The Day

Myrmecophobia: fear of ants

Random Fact of The Day

Ants don’t sleep.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Another outsourcing example: When you take a commercial airline flight, the plane is actually being controlled from India by a ten-year-old girl, holding a remote-control joystick in one hand and a lollipop in the other. The 'pilot' in the front of your plane is a retired security guard whose sole responsibility is to notice when the plane starts shaking and make an announcement that you are experiencing turbulence."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sorry ma'm, but you're just too slow.)

Woman, 82, Gets Ticket for Slow Crossing

LOS ANGELES - An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.

She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.

"I think it's completely outrageous," said Coyle, who described herself as a Cherokee medicine woman. "He treated me like a 6-year-old, like I don't know what I'm doing."

Los Angeles police Sgt. Mike Zaboski of the Valley Traffic Division said police are cracking down on people who improperly cross streets because pedestrian accidents are above normal. He said he could not comment on Coyle's ticket other than to say that it is her word against that of the citing officer, identified only as Officer Kelly.

"I'd rather not have angry pedestrians," Zaboski said. "But I'd rather have them be alive."

Others, however, supported Coyle's contention that the light in question doesn't give people enough time to cross the busy, five-lane boulevard.

"I can go halfway, then the light changes," said Edith Krause, 78, who uses an electric cart because she has difficulty walking.

On Friday, the light changed too quickly even for high school students to make it across without running. It went from green to red in 20 seconds.

Councilwoman Wendy Greuel said she has asked transportation officials to figure out how to accommodate elderly people.

"We should look at those areas with predominantly seniors and accommodate their needs in intersections" she said.

Peanut is suddenly camera shy
Posted by Picasa

Peanut - he is getting pretty big and fuzzy
Posted by Picasa

I hate being sick

I am sick. So stay back or else you might get it too.

I spent most of yesterday with a really bad tummy ache, which progressed into a fever and chills, body aches, headache, and then the inevitable puking. I guess it is the stomach flu. I felt so bad this morning cuz I still had a fever and I was still feeling sick to my stomach, so I called in sick and stayed in bed. I still feel weak (probably cuz I haven't had anything to eat but toast since Saturday evening at dinner- lol), but not so queasy anymore, which is good!

On Saturday, before I got sick (lol), I went to see The Benchwarmers. Hilarious movie. I laughed so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. The ending of the movie wasn't as funny as the rest of it. but I still enjoyed the movie. I haven't laughed so much at a movie since I saw The Wedding Crashers.

So this weekend wasn't a total bust. I did get to see a funny movie before the not-so-funny flu set in.

Phobia of The Day

Zemmiphobia: fear the great mole rat

Random Fact of The Day

Despite the hump, a camel's spine is straight.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"We’re riding in a cab from La Guardia Airport to our Manhattan hotel, and I want to interview the driver, because this is how we professional journalists take the Pulse of a City, only I can’t, because he doesn’t speak English. He is not allowed to, under the rules, which are posted right on the seat:

NEW YORK TAXI RULES
1. DRIVER SPEAKS NO ENGLISH.
2. DRIVER JUST GOT HERE TWO DAYS AGO FROM SOMEPLACE LIKE SENEGAL.
3. DRIVER HATES YOU.

Which is just as well, because if he talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the taxi has some kind of problem with the steering, probably dead pedestrians lodged in the mechanism, the result being that there is a delay of eight to 10 seconds between the time the driver turns the wheel and the time the taxi actually changes direction, a handicap that the driver is compensating for by going 175 miles per hour, at which velocity we are able to remain airborne almost to the far rim of some of the smaller potholes."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Guess all those phone calls to Mars added up.)

Man Gets $218 Trillion Phone Bill

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he recieved a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.

Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84 ringgit ($23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.

But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01 ringgit ($218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.

It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.

"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.

Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.

Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd. is the country's largest telecommunications company.

A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.